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Thread: Jesus & The Redneck...

  1. #1
    2 Legit 2 Quit Kelly's Avatar
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    Default Jesus & The Redneck...

    Repost? I searched...

    An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee.
    The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked,
    "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

    The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.


    The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea.

    He also glanced across the restaurant and asked
    "Is that Jesus over there?"

    The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

    The third patron to come into the restaurant was a redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, sweetthang. How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked,
    "Is that God's boy over there?"

    The waitress once more nodded, so the redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "On my tab."

    As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed."

    The Irishman felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.


    Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed."

    The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

    Then Jesus walked towards the redneck.

    The redneck jumped up and yelled,
    "Don't touch me. I'm drawin' disability"

  2. #2
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    lol

  3. #3
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    lol

  4. #4
    Who is John Galt? Echonova's Avatar
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    True story, I was there.

  5. #5
    WheresClarenceBeeks? Leadfoot_mf's Avatar
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    i heard killer tell it a different way.
    -IA MGMT is inappropriate.


  6. #6
    Senior Member | IA Veteran VooDooXII's Avatar
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    I don't get it...

  7. #7
    I miss Atlanta. Sol-Badguy's Avatar
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    Kekeke.

    Rednecks

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by VooDooXII
    I don't get it...
    heyyy that's supposed to be my line!!! lolol

  9. #9
    I've got a job... Killer's Avatar
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    lol... pretty funny...

  10. #10
    Senior Member | IA Veteran VooDooXII's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by itsjustdee
    heyyy that's supposed to be my line!!! lolol
    Oh good, I'm not alone.

  11. #11
    Senior Member | IA Veteran VooDooXII's Avatar
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    Dammit...someone explain!

  12. #12
    Senior Member SL65AMG's Avatar
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    lol
    EF SQUAD FTMFW!!!!

  13. #13
    M.T.4.L. noridetoolow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Echonova
    True story, I was there.

    2000 EM1
    1998 Tacoma
    ...bagged.....in the process of a body drop

  14. #14
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    no for real.. someone please elaborate lol

  15. #15
    Senior Member | IA Veteran VooDooXII's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by robbyrob016
    no for real.. someone please elaborate lol

  16. #16
    resident honda hater redrumracer's Avatar
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    wow do yall really not get it?

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly
    "Don't touch me. I'm drawin' disability"
    just that part lol

  18. #18
    Shine on! Nittanys1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VooDooXII
    I don't get it...

    if the redneck gets touched then he will be healed and no longer be collecting money for his disability..

  19. #19
    Senior Member | IA Veteran VooDooXII's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nittanys1
    if the redneck gets touched then he will be healed and no longer be collecting money for his disability..
    Oh...alright. I still don't get the "Drawin disability" bit though.

    Must be a redneck thing...

  20. #20
    Shine on! Nittanys1's Avatar
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    whats not to get....dude gets hurt at work and gets MONEY for being hurt....


    if he gets better then he will no longer be "drawin' disability" meaning will no longerbe getting the checks...

  21. #21
    resident honda hater redrumracer's Avatar
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    drawin is short for withdrawing like you would withdraw money at an atm

  22. #22
    Senior Member | IA Veteran VooDooXII's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redrumracer
    drawin is short for withdrawing like you would withdraw money at an atm
    Ah see I didn't know that...

  23. #23
    in the kitchen amberghini's Avatar
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    My ex's dad did that shit. Well, I mean, he didn't buy Jesus a Coke, but he refused to get any care or help because he was "gettin a free check from tha gov'ment!"

  24. #24
    Senior Member | IA Veteran VooDooXII's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amberghini
    My ex's dad did that shit. Well, I mean, he didn't buy Jesus a Coke, but he refused to get any care or help because he was "gettin a free check from tha gov'ment!"
    Hahaha

  25. #25
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    OOHH! I get it hah, yea i also had no idea what "drawin" meant...

  26. #26
    in the kitchen amberghini's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VooDooXII
    Hahaha
    lolol. Yeah.

  27. #27
    Public Enemy #1
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    BUHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA reps for that one!

  28. #28
    IA's MIA'r Sammich's Avatar
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    i lol'd a bit



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?

  29. #29
    2 Legit 2 Quit Kelly's Avatar
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    WOW, HOW DID YA'LL NOT GET THAT?!





























    it's ok, i've been there before

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