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Thread: Cats Vs Dogs

  1. 06-20-2007, 10:06 AM #1
    Brett
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    Default Cats Vs Dogs

    The Dog's Diary
    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!












    The Cat's Diary
    Day 983 of my captivity.

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. She is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. She is obviously retarded.

    The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now....
    Brett (One of the true OG's, No really... ask anyone)
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    '16 K7 SXL SWP

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  2. 06-20-2007, 10:10 AM #2
    The Yousef
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    sometimes i think my cat is trying to kill me in my sleep....
    Val RIP
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  3. 06-20-2007, 10:12 AM #3
    Killer
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    LOL!!! hilarious!
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  4. 06-20-2007, 10:14 AM #4
    Ed
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    lmao thats funny...

    but a repost from 1930...

    lol +1
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  5. 06-20-2007, 10:30 AM #5
    Nomad!
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    Bad kitty!
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  6. 06-20-2007, 11:06 AM #6
    Brett
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Yousef


    sometimes i think my cat is trying to kill me in my sleep....
    us cat owners crack up at this Im sure, I know my cat tries to kill me when I walk up the stairs
    Brett (One of the true OG's, No really... ask anyone)
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  7. 06-20-2007, 12:22 PM #7
    Mike Lowrey
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    Rich...Bob...Stan...?????
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  8. 06-20-2007, 12:36 PM #8
    kelly marie
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    hahahahaha
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  9. 06-20-2007, 01:00 PM #9
    ep9716
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    LMAO....Dogs FTW...I Don't Like Cats That Much..Funny As Hell +1
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  10. 06-20-2007, 01:11 PM #10
    ironchef
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOfCCtG6fDg Cats FTL.

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  11. 06-20-2007, 01:14 PM #11
    thepolecat
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    that sounds like one of my cats- but my other cat seems more like the dog one- weird
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  12. 06-20-2007, 02:01 PM #12
    Leisa
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brett
    us cat owners crack up at this Im sure, I know my cat tries to kill me when I walk up the stairs



    its not that he tries to kill you when you walk up the stairs.. he wants to see between the two of you which one can reach the top of the stairs quick... its always him that wins.
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  13. 06-20-2007, 03:10 PM #13
    Psycho
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    funny stuff
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  14. 06-21-2007, 08:53 AM #14
    Brett
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leisa
    its not that he tries to kill you when you walk up the stairs.. he wants to see between the two of you which one can reach the top of the stairs quick... its always him that wins.
    WHATEVER!!! HE WANTS TO KILL ME
    Brett (One of the true OG's, No really... ask anyone)
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  15. 06-21-2007, 08:58 AM #15
    BlkCD5
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    He could cause brett to trip, causing him to fall down the stairs
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  16. 06-21-2007, 01:18 PM #16
    Brett
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    Damn straight
    Brett (One of the true OG's, No really... ask anyone)
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  17. 06-21-2007, 01:23 PM #17
    Mike Lowrey
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlkCD5
    He could cause brett to trip, causing him to fall down the stairs
    Hmmmmmmm.......

    *I need to have a talk with Vtec*
    Rich...Bob...Stan...?????
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  18. 06-21-2007, 11:10 PM #18
    Z0_o6
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    fucking hilarious!
    Who knows?
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  19. 06-22-2007, 01:56 AM #19
    Driftk1d350z
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    LMAO
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  20. 06-22-2007, 01:02 PM #20
    BlkCD5
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    originally posted by richw131

    Hmmmmmmm.......

    *I need to have a talk with Vtec*


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  21. 06-22-2007, 01:04 PM #21
    death®
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    I hate dogs and cats
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  22. 06-22-2007, 01:05 PM #22
    collins
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brett
    us cat owners crack up at this Im sure, I know my cat tries to kill me when I walk up the stairs
    that damn uniballer!!
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  23. 06-22-2007, 01:45 PM #23
    Mike Lowrey
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlkCD5
    That is the name of Brett's cat.
    Rich...Bob...Stan...?????
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  24. 06-22-2007, 02:14 PM #24
    Leisa
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brett
    us cat owners crack up at this Im sure, I know my cat tries to kill me when I walk up the stairs


    How could something that looks this sweet wanna kill anyone?

    [IMG][/IMG]
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