blonde jokes? post em

[Jimmy B]

i had ner heard this before.. made me laugh.. lol

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to
get it started."


Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"


The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."


Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in
and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.


He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her
and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."


He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice
cup of tea, and then" he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in
the box."

[Ms Dollar]

i've heard that one before...it's funny though

[B16a2 Civic]

Lol. that shit is funny...here's 2..i have a few that i have to remember

2 blonds are walking down the street, 1 blond spots a dog with 3 legs, and 1 eye, so the blonds says to teh other " hey, look at that dog with 1 eye"

the other blond covers one eye and says "where"

-----------------------

a blond is walking on one side of a long river but not wide......as she is walking along side of the river, she spots another blond on teh opposite side...she yells over " HEY, I BET ITS A NICE VIEW OVER THERE, HOW DO YOU GET ON THE OTHER SIDE"
the other blond looks up and down the river and yells back " YEAH ITS A NICE VIEW, BUT YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE"

[DeutscheBAG!]

Q: What does a blond say during a porno?
A: There I am!!

On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles,
she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

[DeutscheBAG!]

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The
brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The
blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"

[Rican219]

Q: What does a blonde do when she's cold?
A: She sits around a candle.
Q: What does she do when it gets really cold?
A: She lights it.

[Rican219]

What do you do when a blonde throws a gernade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

[Jimmy B]

a blonde an a brunett jump off a bridge into a lake, who hits the water first?

the brunette.. teh blonde turned around to ask for directions...


what do a screen door, and a blonde have in common?

the more ya slam it, the looser it gets..

[Jimmy B]

My wife, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway, the other day, just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck and I starting jumping up and down along with her. She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!" I said, "Great. Tell me what you're so happy about." She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told me that she was pregnant! I was ecstatic! We had been trying for a while, so I grabbed her and kissed her on the lips and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!" Then, she said "Oh, honey, There's more." I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?" She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to Have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the twin-pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!"



Two blonde women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.

Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied, still in pain, in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together in his groin.

But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked, "How does that feel?"

He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell!!"

[NzProjeKt]

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss.
Each day, they noticed the boss left work early.

One day the girls decided that when the boss left, they would
leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back
to work, so how would she know they went home early?

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little
gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at
the spa before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband,
but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside.
Slowly and quietly she cracked open the door and was mortified to
see her husband fooling around with her boss! Gently, she
closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead
planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she
was going to go with them.

"No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday!"