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Thread: Damn Bible salesmen.

  1. 03-03-2007, 11:02 AM #1
    HalfBaked
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    Default Damn Bible salesmen.

    So my doorbell just rings and naturally ya know I'm sitting here in just my boxers, so I throw some shorts to get the door. Because well if someone is ringing my doorbell it is either a cop, a pissed off neighbor, or someone telling us our house is being foreclosed.

    Well I get downstairs and see this real fancy dressed couple standing outside, I'm like "shit this looks important." So I open the door and instantly I'm baraged with this bible sales pitch. I'm like fuck this. So I'm trying to think quickly how to get away and go back upstairs to post on IA...

    I figure I have 3 choices.

    1-slam the door in his face, lock the door and hope God doesn't smite me.
    2-Find a place where I can interupt and say "I'm not interested."
    3-Act interested and just cock tease them.

    Well I was gonna go for three until I got bored, and he goes "So you may be interested in...." And I hit him with a "Actually all I'm interested in is going back to sleep thanks. But I'll dream about God and reading the bible. C ya'll."

    Then I scampered back upstairs knowing that I was victorious against the crusaders of God.

    It's gonna be a good day.

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  2. 03-03-2007, 11:07 AM #2
    aaronfelipe
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    This one time, a couple came and started talking to me about fitness and how to stay fit and all this bullshit and then they just handed me the fitness book and left. I went inside and tossed it on the table to notice that there was a small magazine under it about Jehova's witnesses' . Not a very good way to do it

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  3. 03-03-2007, 11:12 AM #3
    BTLFED
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    Hahahaha
    --RIP Leisa. Forever In Our Hearts--

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    Quote Originally Posted by HalfBaked
    Anytime I'm driving south of I-20 in the perimeter, I play spot the white driver.

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  4. 03-03-2007, 11:15 AM #4
    Leadfoot_mf
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    i like to tell them that i stole one already from my mistresses husband the last time i was sodomizing her.
    -IA MGMT is inappropriate.

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  5. 03-03-2007, 11:16 AM #5
    HalfBaked
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    Thinking more and more I have decided other ways I should have gone about it.

    1-Tell them I'm jewish.
    2-Been like "I've done read the bible before. It was the bible that had them pictures in it. Pity what happened to that Hey Zeus fellow gettin all nailed to them boards and what not."

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  6. 03-03-2007, 11:22 AM #6
    aaronfelipe
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    Quote Originally Posted by HalfBaked
    Thinking more and more I have decided other ways I should have gone about it.

    1-Tell them I'm jewish.
    2-Been like "I've done read the bible before. It was the bible that had them pictures in it. Pity what happened to that Hey Zeus fellow gettin all nailed to them boards and what not."
    You would be surprised how serious they would take it.
    What ever you do, don't EVER act interested. I made the mistake once. Not a smart idea. They kept reading me different verses from the Bible and they kept asking me questions. Since I decided to be nice about it, I went through until they asked "...when can we come back so we can discuss these sections that you will be reading?"
    Last time for me.

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  7. 03-03-2007, 11:27 AM #7
    Leadfoot_mf
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    you could always through in a porno for mood and back ground music.
    -IA MGMT is inappropriate.

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  8. 03-03-2007, 11:41 AM #8
    Nate_1998
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    if they keep coming back just answer the door in a bathrobe, pretend like you dropped something and then just moon them.... that's what my uncle did
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  9. 03-03-2007, 11:42 AM #9
    HalfBaked
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    OR BETTER YET!

    JUST START READING A VERSE AND MASTURBATE SAYING THAT IT GETS YOU ALL HOT AND HEAVY!

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  10. 03-03-2007, 11:52 AM #10
    Nate_1998
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    i dont know if god would like you nuttin on his followers....
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  11. 03-03-2007, 11:57 AM #11
    Leadfoot_mf
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    to forgive is divine.....go for it
    -IA MGMT is inappropriate.

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  12. 03-03-2007, 12:00 PM #12
    Nate_1998
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    this reminds me of moral oral when he impregnates women with his special "glaze" because he is god's chef... haha
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  13. 03-03-2007, 12:02 PM #13
    aaronfelipe
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    Interrupt them and start asking wether they think that you should have negative or positive camber for the applications that you are trying to run on your sentra.

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  14. 03-03-2007, 12:02 PM #14
    Slowboy
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    Yeah the masterbating would be a bit much lol. I one time they come to my door. i acted like i was drunk and trippin. and Told them jesus come to hook me up last night, and i was good to go. like the tacobell crunch wrap. They did not know what to say. funny shit. lots of yellin and spillings of the beer. lol.
    :boobies:

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  15. 03-03-2007, 01:21 PM #15
    ShooterMcGavin
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    jesus, it's what's for brunch...
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  16. 03-03-2007, 01:42 PM #16
    PhAtBoYMr2
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    Iv'e had some guy come to my door and literally talk his ass off for 5 minutes and i had to sit there and listen to everything because i felt like if i didn't i was going to hell.
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  17. 03-03-2007, 01:56 PM #17
    VooDooXII
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    That was pretty good.

    I've never had a run-in with a Bible salesman...but I have been damned by some bible thumpers.
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  18. 03-03-2007, 02:11 PM #18
    Crazy Asian
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    I tell them Im a baptist Christian. Father's a pastor and he's gonna curse you to hell for being a Jehovah Witness.
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  19. 03-03-2007, 03:33 PM #19
    Sol-Badguy
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    We used to run off Jehovah's witnesses by putting a Bible on the table near the door when they'd come around.

    I just hate it when they come up to me at 6am at a gas station when I'm fueling up/washing my windshield. I just wonder to myself how they don't have anything better to do.
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  20. 03-03-2007, 03:47 PM #20
    srtowner
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    One time I had this bible thumper come to my door talking a bout sin and damnation and whatnot. He went on about the lords forgiveness blah blah blah. Well I told him "When I die my life will be over and my body will rot in a metal box. And if I'm wrong I'm going to hell." Any more questions?
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  21. 03-03-2007, 03:53 PM #21
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    heh. id just answer the door and be like "the power of satan compels you, leave this house before i damn you all to hell"
    Bless the young and rich with designer drugs and designer friends.
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  22. 03-03-2007, 05:09 PM #22
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    we had some people walking through the neighborhood doing whatever it is jahovas witnesses do...and i told my mom....and she like was like "oh...well...shit lock the door theyre 3 doors down"



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  23. 03-03-2007, 10:14 PM #23
    AgentEasy
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    Quote Originally Posted by aaronfelipe
    Interrupt them and start asking wether they think that you should have negative or positive camber for the applications that you are trying to run on your sentra.
    yes! lol thats what you need to do!! LIRL +1 for if i can..
    there i did it.. what'd you think?
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