Oh my god...I hurt...

We ended up going to wild wings cafe last night. Buddy of mine and I got to talkin' shit about eating hot foods. I told him he couldn't handle a braveheart wing (rated the hottest wing in Atlanta). He challenged me. A girl stepped in and was like "I'll do it!" Another buddy of mine was coming, and last time we went at it, I beat him, so I figured he'd be up for another. So I ordered 4 wings and waiting for my buddy to arrive.

He get theres and I hand him the wing and we go at it. After finishing it, it only took about 3 minutes before the first guy wussed out and grabbed the milk. I waited for the girl to get her milk, but she didn't bust. We sat there...sweating and dying, and the spiciness starting going away so we ordered 3 more. We chowed down and tears hit our eyes.

Spiciness started going away again, and we ordered 6 more, because this needed to end the game. I ask them to get them as hot as possible. The cook comes out from the back and personally looks us over in all of our glory and starts laughing and goes "Well...ok". He personally brings them out and sets them on the table, laughing...

The three of us look over our doom as the rest of the table is laughing their asses off. Our stomachs are already blazing because we didn't drink milk prior to the challenge (if you know anything about hot foods, you drink milk first so it coats the lining of the stomach to protect it. Also, milk is a base where as hot stuff is an acid...so when you cross them, the milk cancels out the burning acid). We split these clumps of shit up amongst the three of us and down them. The girl got one down, dry-choked and grabbed the milk. My buddy and I laugh as we're sitting there dying from the heat. Tables around us, and some of the staff have overheard whats' going on, and they're starting to come take a glance. My buddy and I sat for about 15 minutes until the burning went away and called a truce and finished the milk. No winner has yet been decided...

However...even though I may have been of the "top-2"...my stomach hurts SOOO bad this morning! I've tried downing milk and everything, and I can still taste the un-digested peppers and spices in my stomach...or maybe whats' left behind. In addition, this morning (here's the gross part...skip this if you are weak in the stomach) I went and took the most painful crap the world has ever seen. This crap was no ordinary crap...it was solid BLACK. My stomach still burns like shit, and I've got spices all through my system...

Mother of god...I hate myself for having to be a "man," and I know the worst is still yet to come...

I'll bring pictures of what these wings (as well as my face) look(ed) like during the challenge...

But bottom line...holy CRAP I hurt! THIS SUCKS!