*Rant* My Roomate is a Retard

[sirkus]

My old roommate used to steal my food out of the freezer. I'd ask him why he stole it "It'll go bad after being in there so long." I just told him that he better not take any more of my shit. Made him know that there would be someone getting their ass kicked. Whether it be me or him... someone was gonna get beat. And If I had no choice but to live with them.. I'd just fuck with him a lot. Flatten all of his tires on his car. (don't slice them, just push in the valve on the stem.)

[R3RUN]

Tell him his dog had puppies and they all died....haha, maybe he will leave.

[BlkCD5]

so whatcha gonna do kyle?

[Kyle]

Shit I dunno. The little things I do really piss him off. Like he always wants to play x box on my tv, so once he leaves I just unplug it and put it on his bed. Today he actually woke me up at 9 in the morning to bitch at me.

[sirkus]

Shit I dunno. The little things I do really piss him off. Like he always wants to play x box on my tv, so once he leaves I just unplug it and put it on his bed. Today he actually woke me up at 9 in the morning to bitch at me.

He bitchin about you not letting him use your tv?

Buy an airhorn.. when he comes to your door, open it and scare the shit out of his ass. Or Bear mace.

[SwurvinIn]

my roommate is a cunt bag...but she is moving out as we speak....thank GOD!

[sirkus]

my roommate is a cunt bag...but she is moving out as we speak....thank GOD!

Do you request your roommates? Or do they just stick you with random assholes? One of my old friends was stayin in a room at southern poly tech.. they put her with a 300lb gangsta bitch. She wound up moving out. Do you not have a choice at all?

[ShooterMcGavin]

my roommate is a cunt bag...but she is moving out as we speak....thank GOD!

wow, are u talkin about who i think ur talkin about?

[R3RUN]

My roomate woke me up early this morning to. Fucker starts rearainging all his shit and talking on the phone while im trying to sleep.

[Lucky DAWG]

jizz in his shampoo and tooth paste then pee on his clothes

i did that to a kid at my school who cock blocked me from a threesome, which woulda been my first one btw so it was a big deal to me lol.

like 5 of us put our man juice and piss together to just decimate his room. i jizzed on a monkey of his that sits above his bed and stares at him every night, its like some stuffed animal from his childhood that he holds dear to him.

he wore a shirt i peed on the next day at school and he already smells horrible, and i would crack up everytime i would pass kids in the hallway saying... "DAMN! did you smell him, he smells like pure piss, its horrible"

then we went and stole all of his alcohol and we tried to take his parents fine china and the dining room table but we couldn't get my friend to bring his truck to take the table.

how would you explain that one to your parents..."uh yea, i woke up and the dining room table is gone..."

either way he needs an ass kicking, he seemingly has no respect for what is yours, so either fuck with him w/o his knowing and laugh about it to yourself, move out, or beat his ass or tell management so he has to leave

the options are endless

[Revmaynard]

Is your roommate your little brother??