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Thread: Atheist in the woods...

  1. #1
    Senior Member | IA Veteran quickdodgeŽ's Avatar
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    Default Atheist in the woods...

    An atheist was walking through the woods.
    "What majestic trees"!
    "What powerful rivers"!
    "What beautiful animals"!
    He said to himself.

    As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
    Time Stopped.
    The bear froze.
    The forest was silent.

    As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?

    The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"?

    "Very Well," said the voice.

    The light went out.

    The sounds of the forest resumed.

    And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

    "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."


    Repost or not...I don't give a goddamn. Later, QD.
    FOR MORE INFO, CLICK THE PIC!!!


  2. #2
    802.11 GGGG-Unit Fro Rly! Mr_Mischif's Avatar
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    lol that one's not bad
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucky SC
    so let me get this straight.
    u hate black people...
    so you went to africa?
    Quote Originally Posted by Psycho
    As a white male, I am genetically afraid of black people
    "DON'T FLOOD THE CAR PICS SECTION WITH YOUR BULLSHIT
    FORMULA D PICS" SQUAD MEMBER


  3. #3
    Back in GA Bajjani's Avatar
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    rofl

    Of course I own this.
    IT PUTS THE OREOS ON THE RIM

  4. #4

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    didnt even crack a smile

  5. #5
    Senior Member | IA Veteran quickdodgeŽ's Avatar
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    Didn't even care. Later, QD.
    FOR MORE INFO, CLICK THE PIC!!!


  6. #6
    I've got a job... Killer's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by quickdodgeŽ
    An atheist was walking through the woods.
    "What majestic trees"!
    "What powerful rivers"!
    "What beautiful animals"!
    He said to himself.

    As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
    Time Stopped.
    The bear froze.
    The forest was silent.

    As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?

    The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"?

    "Very Well," said the voice.

    The light went out.

    The sounds of the forest resumed.

    And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

    "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."


    Repost or not...I don't give a goddamn. Later, QD.

    that's awesome! reps if i can

  7. #7
    Public Enemy #1
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    DAMMMMM not only was that funny but true.... Reps for both areas of that joke!

  8. #8

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    LOLOL QD STRIKES AGAIN!!!

  9. #9
    Duck of Death ShooterMcGavin's Avatar
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    another example this god is one sick/cruel individual

  10. #10
    Delightfully Creepy Ran's Avatar
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    Not bad.

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