SMALL TOWN GODDESS
Hails from some microscopic town where she maybe had 5 or 6 classmates in her graduating class, the Small Town Goddess is what is known as HOT. SMOKING HOT, in fact. Like, all-natural, blonde haired and blue-eyed 1973-ish Playboy bunny-like hotness. However, for some reason unknown to science, she somehow did not develop what is commonly known as 'Hot Chick Syndrome' and is, instead, incredibly sweet, good natured and friendly to a fault. This, naturally, causes most members of the opposite sex to be baffled by this seemingly incongruous behavior. Many a man have approached her, yet few can stand to be around her for very long. Why, you ask? The fault lies not with her, oh dear reader! Nay, the fault comes from realizing that she is honestly squeaky clean and you, by comparison, are like some filthy hobo in your soul.