ok its based on drinks (1 drink=1 mouthful)

Take 1 Drink
Peter Gets Hurt
See the Word Quahog
Any Gay Reference
Peter's Trademark Laugh
Any Cartoon Reference
Flashback Sequence
Brian Drinks
Peter Does Something Dumb
Peter Says "Holy Crap"

Take 2 Drinks
Any Movie Reference
Stewie Tries to Kill Lois
A Gag is repeated
Stewie Formulates a Plan
Stewie has a Weapon
Brian and Stewie Fight
Peter Embarasses Meg
Stewie says "Go to Hell"
Peter is Watching TV
Stewie Talks to Stuffed Animals

Take 3 Drinks
Quagmire Makes a Sexual Reference
Chris gets nervous around a Girl
Peter gives Chris Bad Advise
Peter forgets His Kids Names
A Non-human Character is Shown (excluding Brian)
Any Nudity
Visit to the Drunken Clam

Chug Damn You!
Lois in Lingerie
Peter Has Facial Hair
'Evil Monkey' Makes an Appearance
Lois' Parents show up
Any Mention of a TV Network of the Censors
Stewie and Brian do a Song and Dance Routine
Any Character Goes on a Rambling Monologue