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Thread: Chuck Norris!

  1. 01-18-2008, 10:14 AM #1
    admedlin
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    Default Chuck Norris!

    haha i don't know why, just searched Google for Chuck Norris. Just thought I would share some funny stuff. Sorry if anything is a repost:


    "Chuck Norris counted to infinity -- twice"

    "Chuck Norris can speak braille"

    "Chuck Norris put the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'"

    "Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin"

    "Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him"

    "Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the cobra died"

    "If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's ****!n beef"

    "Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time"

    "Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with one bird"

    "Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet who can kick you in the back of the face"

    "Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body"

    "Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash"

    "Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone"

    "Chuck Norris could drown a fish"

    "Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, 'Now'"

    "Bullets dodge Chuck Norris"

    "Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open"

    "Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas"

    "Chuck Norris can divide by zero"

    "Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one"



    Add your own here!
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  2. 01-18-2008, 10:18 AM #2
    mocha latte cupcake
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    bwahahahaha thats great!
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  3. 01-18-2008, 10:40 AM #3
    Sammich
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    lol those are ones i havent heard i lol'd...incase u didnt knwo



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?
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  4. 01-18-2008, 10:41 AM #4
    Sammich
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?
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  5. 01-18-2008, 10:55 AM #5
    CHUCK NORRIS
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  6. 01-18-2008, 10:56 AM #6
    EJ25RUN
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    Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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  7. 01-18-2008, 10:58 AM #7
    Sammich
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    Chuck Norris stole Doc's flux capacitor mid time travel



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?
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  8. 01-18-2008, 11:59 AM #8
    admedlin
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    "It's not the fall that kills you, It's Chuck Norris waiting for you at the bottom "

    "Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris "

    "Chuck Norris tells black jokes without looking over his shoulder "

    "Chuck Norris did that to Michael Jackson's face. "

    "Touching Chuck Norris' beard will increase you life expectancy by 6 years. Unfortunately, the following roundhouse kick will reduce your life expectancy by 300. You do the math. "

    "Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno. "

    "M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this. "

    "Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. "

    "When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. "

    "Chuck Norris has slept with the girl in your sex dreams. "

    "Chuck Norris...End of Story "
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  9. 01-18-2008, 12:32 PM #9
    aaronfelipe
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    Red face

    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails -planelold-jpg  

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  10. 01-18-2008, 12:43 PM #10
    Sammich
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    Quote Originally Posted by admedlin
    "Chuck Norris tells black jokes without looking over his shoulder "



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?
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  11. 01-23-2008, 01:28 PM #11
    pontiacsftw
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    "chuck norris lost his virginity before his father"

    "chuck norris sold his soul to the devil for his amazing karate skills, then roundhoused him in the face and took it back"

    "chuck norris CAN lead a horse to water AND make it drink"

    chuck norris can look a gift horse in the mouth"
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  12. 01-23-2008, 05:53 PM #12
    dc2teg2006
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    Man, it hard to read this in class and keep a str8 face, glade it hasn't begun yet!!!
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  13. 01-23-2008, 05:55 PM #13
    HalfBaked
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    GOd damn, people still post these ****ing things?

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  14. 01-23-2008, 05:57 PM #14
    bigdare23
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    "If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's ****!n beef"


    EastCoastEFCivics
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  15. 01-23-2008, 06:12 PM #15
    AnthonyF
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    lololol i remember when these were going around like wild fire. on the tv, news, radio. i loved it!!!
    The Carbon Fibered R6
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  16. 01-28-2008, 09:33 PM #16
    Code-Aye
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    hahaha
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  17. 01-28-2008, 09:38 PM #17
    Hulud
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    all these Chuck Norris facts and you dont have the best one?


    "If Chuck Norris is running late, time better slow the f*ck down"
    Val for President

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