Family Help

**Scrappy** · 03-27-2005, 08:11 PM

A few people on here know of my past deals with my sister... she means the whole world to me but has gotten to the point of no recovery nor being clean from drugs... she weighs in at around 85-90 lbs AGAIN at 5'7"... not healthy... can not even wake up for more than 2 hours before passing back out... even friends have helped get her jobs and she refuses to work, doesnt have a place to live and can not have her here, due to the fact that she is not willing to get help nor keep the drugs out of my sight or my moms sight....

what i am asking is my mom and i were thinking of having her committed but do not know much about going at that any way possible without her running and disappearing again for months... it really scares me how she is going at life... anyone know any programs that will make her recover even if shes 22... because rehab we had her in there for 2 days and they let her go on her own because of her age

**chuck** · 03-27-2005, 08:32 PM

pretty much all of the rehab places are optional now, they'll let anyone leave anytime they want to. the hardest thing is getting someone to want help, the first step in that is making sure that they realize they have a problem, and a serious problem at that. i really don't know the exact situation so it's hard for me to really give much input.

depending on how willing she is there are a lot of residential and outpatient treatment options.

like i said, i don't know the situation but these are some good semi-local programs out there:
http://southcrescent.com
http://bethesdahousewaycross.org
http://www.gulfcoastrecovery.org <---i believe this is an inmate program will they will actually hold her, even against her will
there is also a place called the quinn house, they are in lawrenceville or right around there at least, i can't find their website though, but i've got a friend who has done some stuff with them and they have a great program.

**Brett** · 03-27-2005, 08:35 PM

Krissi, Hate to say this, But until she wants help and admits she has a problem you will not be able to get her the help she needs. There has to be a time you let her go and let her face life as she chooses and that will proably be the only way she faces her demons, when everyone turns thier back on her until she gets the help she needs.

**Scrappy** · 03-27-2005, 08:44 PM

everyone has turned thier backs... even me and i cant take it... i right now am in tears because she is horrible and downstairs... she tells everyone she has been clean for weeks and weeks and we help her after that... come to find out she was back on them... and cant even get a job that drug tests because she will fail... its horrible... and i know what you all are saying about not being able to do much unless shes willing... but some place has got to have people in there for drug use... i mean fuck i am to the point of setting her ass up and getting arrested becasue she has them on her 24/7... my whole family and even a cop friend said that i would be able to have a set up... me speeding 11 over or something so they can pull over for a warning and say they have reasons to search the vehicle and belongings... but i am scared she will flip out and hurt me... because i tend to be the target since she still tells me i am the perfect daughter but fact is i am not on drugs thats the only difference...

**Brett** · 03-27-2005, 09:08 PM

Then set her up and get her arrested, Tough love sometimes is the best love for someone, But I dont know how long the can hold her, and I can tell you when she got out shed be right back on the drugs, She will never stop until she hits rock bottom and see's she has and realizes she wants help and has a problem.

**Scrappy** · 03-27-2005, 09:20 PM

shes been in and out of trouble... and right back to it... she has hit rock bottom and still refuses to get help. she barely eats, seriously timed the amount of time she has been awake... 4 out of 24 hours... how the hell can one sleep so much? i do appreciate everyone being serious and telling me ways of going about this...

**Brett** · 03-27-2005, 09:33 PM

Glad your not taking it as I being critical, Just trying to give the blunt truth ya know?

**Scrappy** · 03-27-2005, 09:35 PM

oh i know... i am very blunt about this topic... trust me i am not taking things personally i asked

and know a good bit about the reality of the drug world so i know its nothing nice...

**chuck** · 03-27-2005, 10:00 PM

yeah, the drug would can be pretty harsh...i don't get to see my brother until thanksgiving. he didn't get arrested for drugs though, he got arrested breaking into a house to get money for drugs. drugs make you do some stupid stuff. but i think you guys got the right ideas going, just stick with it.

**Scrappy** · 03-28-2005, 03:19 PM

she ran... hopefully come back... and then i am not playing her games anymore... she has gone over board screwing people out of money, trying to raid my house while i at work and gets pissed when she cant find a penny... i cant stand it... i right now want to just kick her to the curb but am willing to sacrifice and get her somewhere safe...

**chuck** · 03-28-2005, 05:00 PM

well best of luck with it, i know your sister means the world to you.

**4dmin** · 03-28-2005, 05:56 PM

you could probably get her commited b/c an eval would probably show she is pretty messed up... call a local place for ???

**Scrappy** · 03-28-2005, 10:10 PM

i did call. like they said... most if shes over 21 wont make her stay, some will keep her for a trial type period which is 3-6 weeks... and she was in other places longer and still went back... so

i wish i can find something or someone to knock some sense into her because if her own freakin sister cant... who can?

**FrnkPwrs** · 03-29-2005, 12:21 AM

Its a fucked up situation. Gwinnett? DeKalb? Hall? I just found out 2 weeks ago my little cousin is hooked on Ice and he is only 15. Have another cousin that over the weekend foudn out that hes fucking with crack. And I dont want to get into my ChiTown family...

Its a fucked up world, no doubt. Ill see if my mother knows some spots that will hold you after 21. But unfortunately, being locked up isnt a guarantee that you will be drug free. Usually the price is higher and people are are willing to do crazier shit to get what they want, making someone more of a fiend. Usually when people are in jail, all they talk about is other illegal shit. "Man, instead of smoking rock, try freebase coke".

Its a hard road. I know someone who is on heroin right now and owes me tons of money, and I let it go. If he goes without for a full day or a without a methadone pill he feels like hes going to die. Thats no way to live life, but he feels that he has to stay on it to keep from hurting.

Sometimes its more or less breaking the person from the lifestyle.I have a cousin who wont do a damn thing for himself here in GA, because hes afraid to work a job. Hell sell shit for someone all day, and rather take $100 in product than $80 cash. He knows people say he can spend a night because he has what they want. People will take him out because he has what he wants. He will get a ride because he has what they want. So most people dont even see it as a problem because they feel they hae everythign they need when its really not much of anything.

Whatever you do, dont try to put out that she is an undercover to the drug dealers so they wont sell to her. My friends mother did it when I was younger and he ended up being killed for it.

**Jaimecbr900** · 03-29-2005, 09:13 AM

It's a double edged sword. If they held her against her will, they'd be open to a lawsuit. And by the same token, some people could possibly be held longer than they really needed to by unscrupulous rehab centers just for the money. No winners there.

Its sad to hear about your sister. I'll pray it gets better for your family soon.

**civic95** · 03-29-2005, 09:15 AM

That's got to be tough. The only way she will stay somewhere for a while is to get arrested, but you have to make sure no one will bail her out. I don't know if I'd be able to set her up for that either though, because either way (failing a drug test or having an arrest record) is not going to help her land a job if she ever wants one. And it will most likely create more tension between you two. Sorry, I don't know what to recommend.

**Scrappy** · 03-30-2005, 07:48 AM

well everyone...

i know the drug world shes been in it for id say about 4 years now... I do not have the heart nor the courage to set her up because if all goes bad she will be right back after me and all that know her know i refuse to hit her for any reason no matter if shes beating the living shit out of me... Tried to talk to her about getting a job and she kept flipping out and telling me i dont know how it is and she needs it to stay alive... yeah granted i do not know how it is, but know you dont need to live off the shit... but my mom and i found her a job and didnt give her options... she is accepting it and hopefully will keep it... and i dont have one bit of sympathy left so if she fucks up this time i am done, cant stop my life anymore and help the unwanted... its her loss..

**FrnkPwrs** · 03-30-2005, 08:34 AM

I mean, are we talking about heroin? If its heroin then the addiction is STONG, and it feels like the person is going to die if they are without it. Its sad watching someone on heroin, and if it is try and find a clinic that will help her becuase its damn near impossible to kick without help if you are deep in it, and a job really only helps have money to support it. I know a guy that is strong out on it and smokes crack and he manages multiple warehouses accross gwinnett. So a job isnt always the solution

**Scrappy** · 03-30-2005, 11:43 AM

im not saying get a job to get away from it, she has no place to live nor anywhere to go... and she sure as crap cant stay here i refuse that. I have given up she refuses to even listen to people even if its not lecturing on drugs... i was asking a simple question on where she is staying and she flips... i cant and wont have time for that bullshit... shes 22 she needs to grow the fuck up and do what she wants...

**silver** · 03-30-2005, 12:12 PM

My sister went through the same thing. She started doing Ice everyone in a while, and then it turned into when she woke up in the morning to doing it in the bathroom at our grandmothers funeral. It is really hard to see that. But I do agree that it is one of those things where they have to realize they have a problem. And it's true that once they are so far into it... they get everything they need (place to live, rides, free drugs) cause they have made the connections. She got in with the major drug dealers and I wouldn't doubt she's had sex for free drugs. It is really a horrible thing to get caught up in. My sister ended up getting pregnant by one of these "drug dealers" and she is gonna have the baby... and guess what... he's not around anymore. She is now off of drugs as far as I know... I think she may still be smoking pot, but there is no doubt in my mind that she will go straight back to the harsher stuff one day. I am in the same situation as you and it sucks. It hurts to feel used by someone that you are related to. My sister would be nice to me until she got what she wanted... after she got all she could she suddenly hated me and treated me like shit. I really don't know what to tell you. My sister has done everything yours has, and I have just come to the conclusion that you just need to keep telling her that you are there for her. That you love her. Tell her how you really feel, she might not like it but one day she will listen to you. One day she will hear you. This is something she has got to do herself unfortunately, but she's gonna need to know that she is cared for by her family. That when she does come down one day that she still has a family. She doesn't need to think her family hates her... I think it will just push her further.

On a side note... After telling my sister how I really felt about her problem... She cussed me out, told me she hated me, told me she never wanted anything to do with me ever again... I told her I understood how she felt and it was ok... Even though it was a week later she called me and told me that she was sorry and she has really been doing better since.

**Scrappy** · 03-30-2005, 12:18 PM

already been through the last part wtih my sister.. she disappeared for a good 6-7 months... glad someone else knows where i am coming from and know what i am doing others have done and succeeded

wish it would work for all...

**silver** · 03-30-2005, 12:22 PM

It just takes time and patience... hurts in the process... but doesnt heal overnight...

**uncle_el** · 03-31-2005, 08:30 AM

you should try to get what is called a layman's affidavit, sometimes refferred to as a "lay aff" for short.

the process consists of going to the local police precinct and asking for the form, filling it out, having a short court hearing, and then the police go and detain said person.

generally, the form is used for the mentally ill- you would write that the person's acting weird/strange/crazy/etc. and what they did (stole money, hit someone, left the stove on all night). it's a pretty short 1 page form.

as i understand it, as i've never been to a hearing, is that the judge looks at it, asks if it's true to your knowledge, and ok's it. once that's done, the police go and get the person, take him/her to a psychiatric facility (not sure what county you're in).

in any event, at that point, if she's not medically stable, she would be sent to a hospital. if she is medically stable, then she would be kept at least 24 hours for observations. at that point, perhaps an intervention could be made. it usually takes a number of attempts at intervention before the person gets it.

all in all, the entire process from filling out the form, to the police doing their thing is same day.

for anyone in dekalb county, the dekalb crisis center and dekalb addiction center may be of help to you or your family:

dekalb crisis center 404 892 4646 website

don't know the number for dekalb addiction center.

i spent 6 weeks on my psych rotation at dekalb crisis center, and we detoxed a lot of people- heroin/percocet/percadan, cocaine, methamphetamine/ice/crank, benadryl (yes, benadryl), alcohol, xanax... it's all voluntary, so people can leave if they want to, but they're always free to return. it's worth a shot.

**FrnkPwrs** · 03-31-2005, 02:41 PM

Xanax... i know a girl strung out on those and vicadon [sp]. I never knew people can really get strung out on pills like that! And its crazy because people get them easier than a pack of cigarettes. I could never understand how prescription drugs are that easy to get and I have troubles just gettin in to see a doctor when im sick with strep for penicillan

**Scrappy** · 03-31-2005, 05:50 PM

^^^^^ right there wtih ya on that one... still amazes me

**uncle_el** · 04-01-2005, 07:03 AM

Originally Posted by FrnkPwrs

Xanax... i know a girl strung out on those and vicadon [sp]. I never knew people can really get strung out on pills like that! And its crazy because people get them easier than a pack of cigarettes. I could never understand how prescription drugs are that easy to get and I have troubles just gettin in to see a doctor when im sick with strep for penicillan

some people say that xanax is ad addictive as crack. it's short acting, which means you feel something immediately. being that it's a benzodiazepine, it's effects are similar to alcohol... whether or not that's a good thing, i'll let you decide.

as far as getting prescriptions... if you're an addict, you'll do whatever you have to in order to get a prescription filled. go doctor's office to doctor's office, e.r. to e.r., forge prescriptions, whatever. addicts will find a way to get what they want/need. the rest of us don't put that much effort into it.

**carrascopa** · 04-08-2005, 10:31 PM

i HAVE NOTE READ THIS WHOLE TOPIC.. SO SOMEONE MAY HAVE ALREADY OFFERED THIS BIT OF ADVICE.. BUT ME BEING A RECOVERED DRUG ADDICT AND HAVING A LARGE HISTORY WITH LOSING PEOPLE FROM DRUGS, FRIENDS AND FAMILY ALIKE.. I CAN SAY THIS.. IF SHE IS REALLY HARD UP YOU HAVE TO INTERVINE OR BE READY TO SAY GOODBYE TO HER FOREVER BECAUSE WHEN AN ADDICT HITS BOTTOM THERES ONLY 2 THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN.. REHABILITATION OR DEATH!! THAT SAID MY ADIVCE TO YOU IS SIMPLE

WHEN SHE HAS THE DRUS ON HER AND YOU KNOW IT.. CALL THE COPS! THE COURTS CAN SENTENCE HER TO JAIL TIME OR MANDATORY REHAB W/ PROBATION WHCIH WILL INCLUDE FREQUENT RANDOM DRUG TESTS TO KEEP HER SOBER...

THIS MAY NOT WORK.. BUT IT WILL SAVE HER LIFE IF SHE GOES TO JAIL! AND DONT BELIEVE ALL THE HYPE.. DRUGS ARE VERY HARD TO GET A HOLD OF IN JAIL! ESPECIALLY WOMANS JAILS FROM WHAT IE HEARD! I KNOW IT IS NOT THE EASIEST THING TO COMPREHEND BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER.... BUT IF SHE IS NOT WILLING TO TAKE YOUR HELP THAN LET THE LAW DO THEIR JOB! THEY WILL STRAIGHTEN HER OUT ONE WAY OR THE OTHER OR SHE WILL LIVE A LONG LIFE BEHIND BARS.. SOMETIMES JAIL TIME IS A BIG WAKEUP CALL.. ESPECIALLY AT HER AGE! ( she is still real young )

IF YOU EVER NEED ANYONE TO TALK TO LET ME KNOW .. I AM VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT DRUG INTERVENTION! I HAVE SERIOUSLY LOST ALOT OF PEOPLE VERY CLOSE TO MY HEART BECAUSE OF THEM .. SO ANY THING I CAN DO TO HELP IM ALL EARS!

**JagerGirl** · 04-12-2005, 03:37 PM

Not many people know this, but I've been in rehab for drugs as well.. (now everyone knows) I've also been in rehab for theft (I was a cleptomaniac) It's not a fun place to be, but it helps... I went to a great rehab place in Gainesville, Laurelwood. You should call there and let them take her... It's expensive, but if you want her to live it looks like you'll be paying her price...

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