A letter I wrote to get some money to myself...

[quickdodge®]

Waddup,

My name is QDizzle, former owner of not really anything due to bad credit, here in Atlanta, I am 36 years old, Suffering from long time debt of the pocket. From all indications my spending habits is really deteriorating my credit score even worse and it's quite obvious that I won't live more than 2 months in my present home. According to my lawyers, this is because my debt has gotten to a very bad stage. I don't want your pity, but i need your trust. Well. More importantly, your money.

My credit died early last year from overspending, and during the
period of my money mismanagement, I couldn't produce any payments to my creditors. After a family member's death, I inherited all his business and wealth. My lawyer has advised me that I will not live
for more than 2 months in my current location. So I have now decided to spread all my wealth, to contribute mainly to all the people I owe money to. Creditors such as At&T, Comcast, GMAC. I really don't give a shit if you are
embarrassed by my mail. I found your e-mail address in the web directory, and i have decided to contact you. But if for any reason you find this mail offensive, you can suck on my asshole and please accept my nuts in your goddamn mouth.

Before my relative died, he was a major used car chopshop tycoon, in Ames, Iowa and deposited the sum of 25 dollars (Twenty Five) in a company in the Southside of Chicago, some years ago. Thats all I have left now. I need you to collect this funds and distribute it to me so that when i die my soul can rest in peace, the funds will be entirely in my hands and management, I hope whatever God you choose to worship gives you the wisdom to do what the fuck I say and that is my main concern. 20% of this money will be for your time and effort, while 80% goes to me. Nah. Fuck it. 100% goes to me, bitch.

Holla,
Quickdodge.