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Thread: an ED morning (with jm words)

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    Douchebag Ed's Avatar
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    Default an ED morning (with jm words)

    welcome to the Ed story hour, during this time we'll be expereincing what its like to be a born sex symbol from the land of g strings, brazilian wax, volkswagen fox love, and other misc sweet things we brazilians do. Anyways, the morning started out like any other, our maid rosalina came into my room with a smile and no pants... you know for the ritualistic morning wood ritual. i tell you what there is nothing better than waking up to a sweet brazilian mamacita on your full extended drive shaft to bring the morning happy

    anyways, after rosalina finished servicing me like a batlground drift car on full boost.


    I decided to put on my brazilian bathroom, aka robing myself in the brazilian flag whilst the wind blows through it as i ease onto the balcony to survey the land of mi familia.


    the familiar sound of my pet rooster, grande peinga, was to my right, i glanced down to see him strutting around my room. i let out a GOOOOOOOAAAAAAL

    and moved my way down to the family stables... kisses my mama goodbye, told my sister not to hook up with any skanky gringos or puto cabrone samwells.

    as i walked through the wooden doors of glory to behold the steedes i glanced towards the wall for the reigns.... which one would i choose? ezmarelda my sleek blue eye mistress of mitsubishi naughty?

    or
    would i take mitsuku the porcelin skinned goddess from honda territory?


    its been a while since i've heard mitsukus sexual scream @ full song... the honda it is! i flung open the stable doors as the sunlight poured in like a rushing waterfall bathing that porcelin white paint revealing its deep luster i knew i had made the right choice. as i slid the key in the ignition i could feel her steering column quiver with excitement, with a quick turn of my wrist she screamed to life! vrooooommmm vrroooommmmm! she was cold and quivering but i knew it could only be from the excitement of the morning drive soon to come. revs to 4 grand, intake primed, header warmed, exhaust @ full song!



    IKETAI! z0mg i just spoke japanese damn jm's influence! PEDAL DOWN hard shift the rear end swings as i understeer through the corners, my god she is definately not refined but this mad vtak carries her light frame through these corners like a latina hottie in the salsa contest back in the home land! swing baby shake!

    i got to work ok... blah no one cars about work, except my co worker jim asked me i knew a good place to shake and shimmy. i told him if he ever used those words on me again, i'd slap him with autumn. he didn't get it but if he only knew, he'd be scared and checking his health insurance. *lunch bell* hooray!'

    INTERMISSION











    Well, what you didn't see here... was that i got veit food,... now i know what your thinking. DAMN THAT ONES FINE ASIAN BITCH ED BE ALL UP IN THAT CHIT GETTIN HIS SWINGIN MONKEY IN HER SWEET SHORT SKIRT AREA! well... YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I DID, I TOLD HER I WAS LOOKING FOR A LOTUS BLOSSOM TO SUKI MITTE MY WAKA NEGETE. if you know what i mean... and she did too. so after the happy ending to end all happy endings.


    So on my way back to work, as mitsuku and i eased onto the light under the red lamp of an intersection, i spoke sweet brazilian nothings into her front speakers when the sound of as rasping 3 cylinder interrupted my passionate whispering. i glance over to see a red geo metro...


    i knew what he wanted, but we both knew what the outcome would be. still revving every few moments with a peircing glare as if to tell me that my woman was ugly and his geo was gold, i knew what had to be done. i glanced down @ my shifter knob, it shook as if begging to be ran.

    i clenched my fist around its steal sphere shape and let my skin dig in, if we were going to race... we were going to mother fuggin race! checked the gauges, all things in check. ready for some action geo? i hope so cause they don't call me the BKDK for nothing (for those of you who don't know what that is, its the Brazilian Koochie Drift King n00bs)

    Mitsuku poised ready to attack, this geo was going down. wait for it..wait for it... i could feel my heart pounding in my chest echoing in my head. time slowed as i heard the second hand on my folex watch sweep forward with a gentle click. I jump, the light isn't green yet but i know! the tires give a quick 2 chirps and the geo is caught off guard!

    he was asleep at the light, the clutch grabbed hard and the race was on, 3rd tire rotation and we're rolling off the light! somethings happening i don't even remember letting the clutch out, my heart raced what was happening! time slowly started to speed up, i could feel the eyes of everyone around me burning a hole in mitsukus body armor.... GREEN! .000 reaction time, no jump, just a pure @ one ness with the car. i had entered nirvana of honda. VTEC screamed as i had 2 lengths on him! IKEMASHO MITSUKU! go baby go! windows down, wind filling the car as the smell of freshly roasted rubber filled the car! we were winning and rightfully so!

    then i could feel it, a small dark shadow creeping up over my left shoulder, i glance back after a moment... only to reveal the geo steadily gaining ground! what?! how?! i had the perfect launch, perfect reaction time! this isn't happening to me 35 mph (its not boost fast but god i feel like i'm flying in teh honDAS!) 40.....he's creeping...43.... steady....45... YES! SHIFT! redline onlt 50 rpm away from bouncing the limiter the power band explodes with the four cylinders of fury screaming for all she is worth! GAINING GROUND! GO BABY GO! 4>3 always biatch!


    moral of the story....



    I'M A GOD D@MN BRAZLIAN WITH BALLS OF STEEL AND EPIC DRIVING SKILLS, SO WHEN YOU SEE MITSUKU ROLLIN, BE THE F%*K OFF CAUSE YOU'LL JUST END UP ANOTHER STAMP ON MY WALL.


  2. #2
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    first

  3. #3

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    holy epic gheynesss.

  4. #4
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    only becuase that was way to long to read!

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    Douchebag Ed's Avatar
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    i told JM the facts of my day and he came up with the story...

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    Osaka Sokutatsu mocha latte cupcake's Avatar
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    indeed. read it or you have the gay, there are fuckin pictures why cry babies... @ least look @ them and consider yourself something of a kindergarden graduate...

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    IA's MIA'r Sammich's Avatar
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    I FOUND A COUPLE CONFLICTING 'FACTS'...ED'S SHIFTER ISNT A METAL BALL...ITS A LEATHER GRIP...JUS SAYIN HE LIKES COW



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?

  8. #8
    I'm a motherfucker! Evil Goat's Avatar
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    cliff notes?
    -2001 Lexus IS300
    -2004 Pontiac GTO - 530hp/625ft lbs - 10.62@130mph - Sold!

    Quote Originally Posted by Echonova View Post
    I got five on it, that if this guy ever does meet Evil Goat he shits his pants and says nothing.

  9. #9
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    YOU'RE
    DOING
    TOO
    MUCH.

  10. #10
    Certified Gearhead LvnBoOst's Avatar
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    nice.
    Quote Originally Posted by changaroo View Post
    jesus-tapdancing-christ.

  11. #11
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    PS:
    WALL
    OF
    TEXT,
    NUKKA.

  12. #12
    Osaka Sokutatsu mocha latte cupcake's Avatar
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    PS: THATS WHY THERE IS PIKTAR YOU ILLITERATE NIKKA.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PURE jdm View Post
    PS: THATS WHY THERE IS PIKTAR YOU ILLITERATE NIKKA.

    COOL
    STORY
    BRO.

  14. #14
    Osaka Sokutatsu mocha latte cupcake's Avatar
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    cool
    post
    bro
    do
    it
    again



  15. #15
    Senior Member xxbckiexx's Avatar
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    cliffs? no ones gonna read all that shit.
    Way Too Big

    Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

    _██_
    (ಠ_ృ) Riveting tale, chap.

  16. #16
    Osaka Sokutatsu mocha latte cupcake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xxbckiexx View Post
    cliffs? no ones gonna read all that shit.
    haven't been here long have you?

  17. #17
    Senior Member xxbckiexx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PURE jdm View Post
    haven't been here long have you?
    foxbody.
    Way Too Big

    Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

    _██_
    (ಠ_ృ) Riveting tale, chap.

  18. #18
    Osaka Sokutatsu mocha latte cupcake's Avatar
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    ed story!

  19. #19
    IA's MIA'r Sammich's Avatar
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    GAY STORY



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?

  20. #20
    Douchebag Ed's Avatar
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    your wife loved it.

  21. #21
    Osaka Sokutatsu mocha latte cupcake's Avatar
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    coming from someone that repeatedly asks me to come spend the night in a sleeping bag in their backyard.... gay samwell

  22. #22
    IA's MIA'r Sammich's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PURE jdm View Post
    coming from someone that repeatedly asks me to come spend the night in a sleeping bag in their backyard.... gay samwell
    I HAD TO THINK FOR A MINUTE WTF U WERE TRYING TO IMPLY

    Quote Originally Posted by Ed
    your wife loved it.
    SO DID UR WOMANZ



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?

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