But today is just a really bad day for me and I just need to vent. I know some people dont care, and thats fine... dont read it.

But I am so angry right now, The more I think about how Leisa was taken from me, when she was the most amazing person I knew, and as many know, she would do anything for anyone.... Why does God take her? Was this me being punished so he hit me where it hurts most?

I have begged her since this weekend to come back into my dreams again and just talk to me, tell me everything will be okay, and nothing. I have begged her for a sign that she is watching us.

Sunday her daughter flies out to her dads to live in Maryland, and in some ways I am relieved because I just cant handle raising her at this point in my life and she needs to be with her father, But it will be hard for me to say good bye to her as well. She has been a daughter to me for almost 10 years and even though we have fought ALOT over the years, she is all I have of Leisa in the house, she looks so much like her, is strong willed and stubborn like Leisa. Saying good bye to her Sunday will be like saying good bye to Leisa all over again.....

Sorry guys to be depressing, Today is just a bad day for me and this is all hitting me today. Some days are better than others I guess. I have had tears in my eyes on and off at my desk all day

I miss Leisa so much, And I know she wants me to live again, smile... if anything to honor her life, but some days just seem like im dead inside as well.