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Thread: CyberSex anyone??

  1. #1
    Powered by 4G63 willum14pb's Avatar
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    Default CyberSex anyone??

    Bloodninja> I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
    Sarah19fca> mmmm, okay.
    Bloodninja> I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
    Sarah19fca> Yeah I like it rough.
    Bloodninja> I smack you thick booty.
    Sarah19fca> Oh yeah, that feels good.
    Bloodninja> Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
    Bloodninja> I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
    Sarah19fca> you like that?
    Bloodninja> I peel some bananas.
    Sarah19fca> Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
    Bloodninja> get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
    Sarah19fca> Peanuts?
    Bloodninja> Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
    Sarah19fca> What are you talking about?
    Bloodninja> I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
    Sarah19fca> This is stupid.
    Bloodninja> Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
    Bloodninja> Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
    Bloodninja> Yeeaahhhh.
    Sarah19fca> /ignore
    Bloodninja> Its cool stone cold she was a ***** anyway.
    Bloodninja> We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.









    bloodninja> Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14> Aight.
    bloodninja> Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14> I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
    bloodninja> Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14> Oh, I like to play dress up.
    bloodninja> Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14> I kiss you softly on your chest.
    bloodninja> I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14> Hey...
    bloodninja> I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14> Funny I still don't see it.
    bloodninja> I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14> You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    bloodninja> Don't f*ck with me *****, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    bloodninja> I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14> Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
    bloodninja> Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja> King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    bloodninja> You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    bloodninja> Baby?









    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

    Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

    Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

    Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

    Wellhung: OK.

    Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

    Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

    Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.

    Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

    Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

    Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

    Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.

    Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

    Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

    Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

    Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

    Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

    Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

    Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

    Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

    Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

    Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

    Sweetheart: What?

    Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

    Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

    Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

    Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

    Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

    Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

    Sweetheart: What's the matter?

    Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

    Sweetheart: Are you OK?

    Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

    Sweetheart: Can I help?

    Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

    Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

    Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

    Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

    Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

    Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

    Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

    Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

    Wellhung: I found it.

    Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

    Wellhung: Me too.

    Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked bodies pressing each other.

    Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

    Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

    Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

    Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

    Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

    Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

    Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

    Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

    Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

    Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

    Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

    Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

    Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

    Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

    Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

    Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

    Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

    Sweetheart: What?

    Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

    Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

    Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

    Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

    Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray,picture frames and your candles.

    Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

    Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

    Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

    Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

    Sweetheart: { [logged off]

  2. #2
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    lmao
    +1

  3. #3
    jort enthusiast alpine_aw11's Avatar
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    Lol...nice. Never understood why people take cyber so seriously. Must be ugly or something.

  4. #4
    Im French! Frög's Avatar
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    BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

    Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

  5. #5
    Stang Mod slostang's Avatar
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    epic. +3
    Quote Originally Posted by Echonova View Post
    And I do drive a Miata, so I am gayer than a three dollar bill...

  6. #6
    Powered by 4G63 willum14pb's Avatar
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    Land 'O lakes butter all in that as.. LMFAO!!!

  7. #7
    Accord->Evo EmminoDaGreat's Avatar
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    lol

    The EMPIRE

  8. #8
    HEY! you there. Thighs's Avatar
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    LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO

    i really just lol'ed hard. that was great.

    id get you but i already did today... lol
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  9. #9
    Powered by 4G63 willum14pb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jesse4846
    LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO

    i really just lol'ed hard. that was great.

    id get you but i already did today... lol
    guess im just that ****ing awesome

  10. #10
    F**k the po-lice!
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    LMAO!!!

  11. #11
    HIV+ HalfBaked's Avatar
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    Soooooo old.


  12. #12
    Senior Member WalkS's Avatar
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    Awesome! ROFL!
    JJSPEC Racing
    "He who judges a book by its cover will soon be staring at taillights."

  13. #13
    Rutspeed/b00b CreW BTLFED's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HalfBaked
    Soooooo old.
    No sh!t. It's older than the internet.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails -repost1-jpg  
    --RIP Leisa. Forever In Our Hearts--

    --Val for President 1979-2007--
    --RIP Val, You will be missed--

    Quote Originally Posted by HalfBaked
    Anytime I'm driving south of I-20 in the perimeter, I play spot the white driver.

    Generally I don't count past 10.

  14. #14
    Senior Member BlueHatch's Avatar
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    that junk is funny. me and wifey crackin up reps for you when i can
    Last edited by BlueHatch; 09-06-2008 at 04:50 PM. Reason: add when i can

  15. #15
    Powered by 4G63 willum14pb's Avatar
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    only the nerds that troll forums for the past 6 years "know" that this is old. No one else has seen it.

  16. #16
    Georgia Muscle twinj's Avatar
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    BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH


  17. #17
    JDM TYTE AnthonyF's Avatar
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    it's my b-day tomorrow, you coming to see me b*tch?? I'll be in hoschton

    -Ant.
    The Carbon Fibered R6

  18. #18
    Powered by 4G63 willum14pb's Avatar
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    i got work from 6-2, what are you doing, and why will you be all the way up there??

  19. #19
    JDM TYTE AnthonyF's Avatar
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    ^thats fine. I knew u couldnt. Parents are having a small cook out for me. Having a few friends over and going back home that night.

    -Ant.
    The Carbon Fibered R6

  20. #20
    Public Enemy #1
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    holy **** that was funny as hell! the wizard part had me rolling, best thread so far this year!

  21. #21
    Powered by 4G63 willum14pb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnthonyF
    ^thats fine. I knew u couldnt. Parents are having a small cook out for me. Having a few friends over and going back home that night.

    -Ant.
    call me when you're on your way home, ill be in lawrenceville area after work, we can meet up somewhere and grab somethin to eat if you want on your way home!

  22. #22
    Powered by 4G63 willum14pb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TransAxle
    holy **** that was funny as hell! the wizard part had me rolling, best thread so far this year!
    indeed, the wizard one had my laughin my balls off. And the land o lakes butter on that ass kills me everytime.

  23. #23
    Sexi cheeseburger! Kasper's Avatar
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    Oh that last one killed me.. i cant see straight cause i was laughen so hard i was crying! That was awsome! Thanks for the laugh bro reps

  24. #24
    Z1 Motorsports FTW!! Dr.G35's Avatar
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    that pubic hair one got me rollin!! +1

  25. #25
    Powered by 4G63 willum14pb's Avatar
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    bloodninja> Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14> Oh, I like to play dress up.
    bloodninja> Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14> I kiss you softly on your chest.
    bloodninja> I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.


  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by willum14pb
    bloodninja> Don't f*ck with me *****, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    bloodninja> I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14> Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
    bloodninja> Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja> King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    bloodninja> You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    bloodninja> Baby?
    absolute best part!

  27. #27
    Senior Member Slowboy's Avatar
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    This just made my morning. freakin hilarious. Repped
    :boobies:

    Shooting mutha fuckahs in the face and gettin paid.

  28. #28
    Powered by 4G63 willum14pb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slowboy
    This just made my morning. freakin hilarious. Repped
    Lol made mine too, i re-read this today and it woke me up a bit

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