have u ever had to take a sh*t so bad

[isa2o3]

I have:
yesterday i went to college in the morning and had lunch at downtown. then went to library and got on IA and the following happend:

1. i heard the turds calling me but in quite and polite manner. so i thought i can wait since biology class starts in 20min.

2. situation gets worse. As i was walking to bio, I came to realize that i underestimated the turd.

3. sitting in class regretting my stupid decision in the library. telling myself i had enough time.

4. intense pain in the stomach and head starting to get warm, but too late i cant leave the class' prof. passing out one of the 5 quizes.

5. class ends and surprisingly the turd slows down. now i am confident that i will make it home and can relax and do my thing.

6. got on 85 and the pain returns and i am fighting back. on half way the there, turd yelling let me the f**k out. i began sweat a lot.

7. stuck on traffic by pleasanthill exit. crazy thoughts going through my head, like i cant hold it. and i am thinking how can i take sh*t in the car. I was seriuosly about to take a dump on the qt cup on the cup holder.

8. traffic loosens a little bit and i am pulling like a bat out of hell. told myself nothing can stop me now, not even gwinnett police.

9. i took my exit and it gets worse. turd-"i am f**cking coming out" and i am fighting like a soldier thinking i will pull over to a gas station. But for some reason i kept pushing myself to get home. At this point i am angry as motha f**ker, but i dont know why. I am going insane.

10. I made it . 5:30 @ home. 5:30:03 @ bathroom. 5:30:03:06. coming out my a**. instant satisfaction, almost better than sex. i am thinking the whole thing was worth it.

So did u ever have to take sh*t so bad?

[Killer]

i've been there man...

matter of fact i was on the toilet for quite some time last night...

it was awful...

[allmotoronly]

lmao

[madwick]

dude i feel ya!!! first date when i was younger, sometime before i was 16 when mom had to pick us up. i had to poop while in the movies! halfway through i started to get the its coming feeling. then we had to wait til mom picked up up. then we had to drop off the g/f first. mom of course had to talk to g/f's mom. im sweating bullets and starting to fart! thought that would help but that just put the turd closer to the exit! on the way home i was pissed off too and mom was not understanding why i held it! got home knocked my dad down and pushed my sister out of the bathroom and i was sudenly in pure XTC!!!!

[Nismo]

Happens. Best feeling in the world though.

[coolcat]

LOLOLOLMFAO!!! When I first scrolled down and saw that fish in your sig I thought for a split second that it was a picture of the turd.

I can't even imagine how bad that would have sucked though. +1 for having to go through that.

[RandomGuy]

LOLOLOLMFAO!!! When I first scrolled down and saw that fish in your sig I thought for a split second that it was a picture of the turd.

I can't even imagine how bad that would have sucked though. +1 for having to go through that.

Bengalis have been known to eat turds on the contrary .

[DieselNuts]

lol, you're lucky it was a solid turd and not the green apple splatters or else you woulda soiled your draws in class.

[isa2o3]

dude i feel ya!!! first date when i was younger, sometime before i was 16 when mom had to pick us up. i had to poop while in the movies! halfway through i started to get the its coming feeling. then we had to wait til mom picked up up. then we had to drop off the g/f first. mom of course had to talk to g/f's mom. im sweating bullets and starting to fart! thought that would help but that just put the turd closer to the exit! on the way home i was pissed off too and mom was not understanding why i held it! got home knocked my dad down and pushed my sister out of the bathroom and i was sudenly in pure XTC!!!!

man i was farting so bad even i couldnt stand it in the car. jus to give u a sense of how serious it was.

[isa2o3]

lol, you're lucky it was a solid turd and not the green apple splatters or else you woulda soiled your draws in class.

oh it was a the green apple splatters. thats why i said it was an instant satisfaction. made it worse i guess.

[madwick]

wow your case was worse than mine! mine were just one or 2 big ones then i knew a turd was to follow! not so bad smell. they had a slight turd breathe aroma but nothing that would knock you out!

mind you i was a freshman wrestler! i had been cutting weight the hole time before i had ate that night. i had nothing to pass through my stomach but like half a home made sandwich a day. i had some texas roadhouse steak, potatoes, salad and rolls filtering through! mine was a solid beast! i think it ripped my stinkter!!!

[coolcat]

man i was farting so bad even i couldnt stand it in the car. jus to give u a sense of how serious it was.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I haven't laughed this hard at something on IA in a long long time.

[grey1.8t]

HAHAHA this SHI*T is so funny, literally.

[isa2o3]

Bengalis have been known to eat turds on the contrary .

lol. i just remembered when u had to take a sh*t at mahmoods on new years. u drove all the way home for some reason.

[Crazy Asian]

Try coming back from Baja California and no rest stops. Damn fawking ****. That was a mean turd burgular. I was gophering all the way up to LA. And right when I got to the 1st house, I was gone.

[isa2o3]

if ur wondering why did he fought so heard to get home for it.

the answer is nothing is more comfy than taking a sh*t at ur own toilet. It is the moment out of the day when u feel like a king and show those turds whose the the boss.

plus i am a soldier and i wont let a turd beat and i will fart on that. lol

[isa2o3]

Try coming back from Baja California and no rest stops. Damn fawking ****. That was a mean turd burgular. I was gophering all the way up to LA. And right when I got to the 1st house, I was gone.

u my friend is a soldier. and i have deep respect for u. it takes man to fight this battle u know wat i mean.

[Crazy Asian]

ugh it was painfully. Not something enjoyful. All those tacos I guess has to go somewhere.

[Alan®]

damn been there done that

[SloWRX]

happened to me today and the worst part was that there was only 1 little sheet of toilet paper left

[TheGodfather]

I've had worse.

I get em where waves of pain come and go about every 10 minutes, and it usually takes hours for me to **** and get relief. The whole time I'm vomiting because of the pain in my side/stomach.

Happens about once every 4 months and usually happens waking me up way early in the morning with terrible pain.

[redpanda]

I have:
yesterday i went to college in the morning and had lunch at downtown. then went to library and got on IA and the following happend:

1. i heard the turds calling me but in quite and polite manner. so i thought i can wait since biology class starts in 20min.

2. situation gets worse. As i was walking to bio, I came to realize that i underestimated the turd.

3. sitting in class regretting my stupid decision in the library. telling myself i had enough time.

4. intense pain in the stomach and head starting to get warm, but too late i cant leave the class' prof. passing out one of the 5 quizes.

5. class ends and surprisingly the turd slows down. now i am confident that i will make it home and can relax and do my thing.

6. got on 85 and the pain returns and i am fighting back. on half way the there, turd yelling let me the f**k out. i began sweat a lot.

7. stuck on traffic by pleasanthill exit. crazy thoughts going through my head, like i cant hold it. and i am thinking how can i take sh*t in the car. I was seriuosly about to take a dump on the qt cup on the cup holder.

8. traffic loosens a little bit and i am pulling like a bat out of hell. told myself nothing can stop me now, not even gwinnett police.

9. i took my exit and it gets worse. turd-"i am f**cking coming out" and i am fighting like a soldier thinking i will pull over to a gas station. But for some reason i kept pushing myself to get home. At this point i am angry as motha f**ker, but i dont know why. I am going insane.

10. I made it . 5:30 @ home. 5:30:03 @ bathroom. 5:30:03:06. coming out my a**. instant satisfaction, almost better than sex. i am thinking the whole thing was worth it.

So did u ever have to take sh*t so bad?

HAHAHAHA omg +1 for making me laugh so hard today

[RandomGuy]

I've had worse.

I get em where waves of pain come and go about every 10 minutes, and it usually takes hours for me to **** and get relief. The whole time I'm vomiting because of the pain in my side/stomach.

Happens about once every 4 months and usually happens waking me up way early in the morning with terrible pain.

might wanna get that checked out

[RandomGuy]

but i hate when turds play that whole "nvm" game with you...

like they're gophering, turtleheadding for the longest... then like 15-20 minutes til you get to a toilet... they go AWOL... like you don't really gotta go anymore... but if you carry on to doing something else... they'll come right back like a ton of bricks... playin that whole 'let us out..............nvm.................... hahah we got you let us out'


fukin n00b turds

[Mr_Mischif]

I was like that like 3 days ago; the worst ones are when you just get to where you're going and then you need to dookie sooooooooo badddddddd.

[isa2o3]

happened to me today and the worst part was that there was only 1 little sheet of toilet paper left

hahaha. thats when u dig through the trash bag to see if u find a clean one or reuseable one.

[isa2o3]

but i hate when turds play that whole "nvm" game with you...

like they're gophering, turtleheadding for the longest... then like 15-20 minutes til you get to a toilet... they go AWOL... like you don't really gotta go anymore... but if you carry on to doing something else... they'll come right back like a ton of bricks... playin that whole 'let us out..............nvm.................... hahah we got you let us out'


fukin n00b turds

hahanoob turds. yup they be doing it on purpose. but the best thing is to watch them go down while u feel the sense of victory.

[KevinT707]

LOL , I started reading about half of it & started giggling in Economics class. I'm afraid I'll bust out laughing so I'll save the rest of reading for later.

Funny stuff though! .. I feel where you're coming from though homie

[MistaCee]

LMFAO I bet you was walking like robocop the whole time

[Nissan Sean]

you guys are sissy's. i am lactose intolerant. so that means if i eat too much of anything with dairy in it i am done for. pretty much i get the worst 'doubling over" pain from cramps and then have to **** all of what i just ate out. oh it sucks. trust me. and it comes at a moments notice. its happened to me in class, at work, with a girl, everywhere, and everytime its so bad. so while a repect your valliant effort OP. i am the real Turd warrior here, and you my frend are nothing but a grunt in the fight against bowel movements.

[isa2o3]

LMFAO I bet you was walking like robocop the whole time

did not have the time to walk slow. i was running.

[Gabe]

man this thread made my day i havent laughed so hard in weeks REPPED to the fullest

[Civic_H2b]

lol

[GuessWho]

Had one so bad i just got done eatin mexican with some friends and i was riding around with this girl i kind of liked and AS SOON as we dropped my friend off to his car at the city park... we high tailed it to the nearest gas station where i did the ol green apple daddy quick step to the restroom.... SOOOO bad i couldnt even put down toilet paper so i held myself up on the toilet seat with about a 15" drop into the water... notta hard turd came out of that browns eye... A great nite at the Super Bowl!!!

[GuessWho]

THE WORST= "As i sit here broken hearted, came to ****, but only farted"

[TheGodfather]

might wanna get that checked out

I did.

He stuck his finger in my ass, then told me I was fine.

[Tech5]

they did a episode about if you can die while taking a turd, an the verdict was yes you can, be carefull dude, the next time you blow one,I would take some exlax every now an then lololololol

[chinitoxamor]

puaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahaha ohhhh i cant stop laughin.. i worked out yesterday so my stomach is killing me right now.. anyways.. it happened to me before.. only thing is.. it was disturbing because.. i was at Cumberland Mall inside Macy's.. and i had to take it bad.. so i went in.. took care of my business but this man walks in.. takes a piss.. and goes and wash his hands at the sink and decides to just let rip farts that even i couldnt rip after all that holding my turd in.. which was hilarious but yeh.. man.. i like how you timed yourself.. anyways try not to hold it in next time hahaha. otherwise you might have a situation on your hand lol

[HeLLo iM iZzY]

It has happened. The most embarrassing story ever.....I went over to my g/fs house (now ex) about 4 yrs ago for the first time ever to meet her parents and chill with her bla bla bla. So before I leave to her house, I had nothing in my house except some burritos (you know where this is going) and it was those chimichangas from QT. So anyways, I eat them, get to her house and start walking around the n-hood. Out of no where, I felt an army of turds tying to escape my ass, and OMG I was in the worst pain ever !!! I started twitching together and holding my stomach. And here she is trying to hold my arm and sh1t and im ready to throw some elbows at this b!tch. So I tell her I have to take a sh1t bcz there is no way I'm going 20 mins back to my house. I felt so embarrassed taking a sh1t at her house on my first day at her house....so we get to her house and I storm into the restroom, and the restroom is right by the living room and that room is packed with both of her parents and her brothers and sisters. So here I am sitting on the toilet and I have this feeling that if I just let it all out its going make all these fukin weird ass noises and I'm gonna be the laughing stock for her parents conversation first thing tomorrow morning. So I try to let it all out little by little, reducing noise to the minimal. Everytime a wet turd would come out, Id squeeze my cheeks together so it didnt come out all at once to make loud farting/****ing noises. I made it finally after like 15 mins in there.

That was the worst experience ever !

[Frög]

I have:
yesterday i went to college in the morning and had lunch at downtown. then went to library and got on IA and the following happend:

1. i heard the ..........

person A: "so you wanna come out tonight, hit up the bars downtown?"

you: "Naw i can't, i got to go to college tomorrow"