im going to miss pauls funeral

**kilpatty43** · 07-07-2005, 12:28 PM

and im very upset about it...jeff, pauls brother just called me and asked if he could keep pauls dog tags...he wanted to wear them in memory of his brother...i told him he could keep them...he also informed me that they are no longer having the memorial here in mville for paul bc most of his friends are gone for the summer...and his funeral is tomorrow in louisiana...i dont have time to drive there and i dont have the money to fly...so i cant go...but apparently pauls grandfather is planning everything since his mom is very distraught...he feels it isnt necessary to invite anyone but family to the funeral anyways...he is also refusing to let the military be a part of the funeral service...theyre going to still present a flag to pauls mother but thats it

**Kristi** · 07-07-2005, 12:29 PM

how much is the ticket? i will pay for it hefy

**kilpatty43** · 07-07-2005, 12:31 PM

no kristi...i appreicate the offer greatly...but it is obvious that i am not wanted there...ill leave it to the family...ive said my goodbye to him already and even if im not there he knows how i feel and that he'll always be in my heart

**A.P. Photography** · 07-07-2005, 12:34 PM

Sorry to hear Heather. I am sure he knew how you felt and knows now.

**accordon17s** · 07-07-2005, 12:33 PM

Thats very sad. The military should still do a service for him IMO. He died serving our country he deserves all the honor in the world.

**5thgcelica** · 07-07-2005, 12:45 PM

Originally Posted by accordon17s

Thats very sad. The military should still do a service for him IMO. He died serving our country he deserves all the honor in the world.

seriously.

**efman** · 07-07-2005, 12:47 PM

Originally Posted by accordon17s

Thats very sad. The military should still do a service for him IMO. He died serving our country he deserves all the honor in the world.

**HEATON** · 07-07-2005, 12:34 PM

Sorry to hear...Sadly I've probly "seen" Paul come through here when he was bein boarded to fly home. Hopefully his grandfather will change his mind. I understand he made be mad at the mil,bc "they took away his grandson" but not giving a full out mil funeral is almost disrespectable towards all what Paul worked and died for. Just thinking that Paul dearly loved the mil andhis job..bc Rangers dont just join to join.

**Spyder** · 07-07-2005, 12:35 PM

That sucks, but louisana isnt that far away. with how much he means to you im surpirised you even posted this..

**4dmin** · 07-07-2005, 12:36 PM

our regards to you and his family

**carrascopa** · 07-07-2005, 12:48 PM

Im sorry to hear that as ell.. but why do you feel the need to post all your personal detaiuls on IA? not flaming just curious.. because this topic has been going on for the last several months and it seems as if once a week your looking for a pitty party

I give it to you.. its never easy to lose a loved one. I know ive lost several.. but i dont keep asking for pitty every chance i get

**AznTraitor** · 07-07-2005, 12:55 PM

you guys need to learn how to read.....the family denied a military funeral....if the family doesnt want it, then the military leaves it to the family to take care of that stuff.

sounds like some of the family doesnt like you too much, I mean if you were the "fiance" of paul you think that they wouldve invited you or made arrangements for you to be there.

**Brett** · 07-07-2005, 01:00 PM

Originally Posted by AznTraitor

I mean if you were the "fiance" of paul you think that they wouldve invited you or made arrangements for you to be there.

I dont think she was his fiance, she dated a few people here locally while he was there

**AznTraitor** · 07-07-2005, 01:03 PM

Originally Posted by Brett

I dont think she was his fiance, she dated a few people here locally while he was there

see, I'm confused now.....he had that letter stating that he wanted to marry her when he got home and then he had a ringed sized for her finger and all, and they broke up when he left for Iraq.....and she dated some people and I asked this last time, but she says she was/is engaged to him, but maybe I read it wrong, but I coulda swore she said she was

**Spyder** · 07-07-2005, 01:06 PM

*as the world turns*

... we need a this thread is going to get fucked up emoticon...

**AznTraitor** · 07-07-2005, 01:07 PM

Originally Posted by kilpatty43

we were dating when he left and broke up the day he deployed bc he was going to be gone for two years...his choice not mine...but in his letter he told me that he loved me and that i was the one for him...he had the ring sized before he left and planned on proposing when he got back...since he isnt coming home he left the ring to me and asked that i keep it since it was going to be mine...so basically yeah i am/was his fiance'

there....found it, so she was his "fiance", brett....I'm right your wrong.

**Spyder** · 07-07-2005, 01:11 PM

it says they "broke up" when he left, but she was his fiance... im even more confused.

**BOOSTEDeg** · 07-07-2005, 01:20 PM

First off, you should have went to the funeral if he meant so much to you. Second off, if he was "your man" why were dating people locally as someone said above???? You were not his fiance and if you were dating someone else you should be embarassed to be writing anything more. He planned to come home and try to have something with you, think about that. He probably broke up with you so you wouldn't worry about him. Lastly, regardless of what the family says, if they will be there to present a flag they will render all honors due to him. Trust me we do it here. Military has no intentions on taking over the funeral. They will also have a service for him where he was stationed. Sorry that another soldier was taken from us, but we are still in war. I have lost countless buddies there, more people will pass. Nature of the beast. Plus, I have NEVER heard of anyone going over there for 2 years. Unless they were rear echelon mother fuckers.(REMF's)

**AznTraitor** · 07-07-2005, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by BOOSTEDeg

Plus, I have NEVER heard of anyone going over there for 2 years. Unless they were rear echelon mother fuckers.(REMF's)

me too.....because here in Columbus I have yet to hear or meet anyone that was going for 2 years....even the rear supply groups....

**HEATON** · 07-07-2005, 02:18 PM

Originally Posted by BOOSTEDeg

First off, you should have went to the funeral if he meant so much to you. Second off, if he was "your man" why were dating people locally as someone said above???? You were not his fiance and if you were dating someone else you should be embarassed to be writing anything more. He planned to come home and try to have something with you, think about that. He probably broke up with you so you wouldn't worry about him. Lastly, regardless of what the family says, if they will be there to present a flag they will render all honors due to him. Trust me we do it here. Military has no intentions on taking over the funeral. They will also have a service for him where he was stationed. Sorry that another soldier was taken from us, but we are still in war. I have lost countless buddies there, more people will pass. Nature of the beast. Plus, I have NEVER heard of anyone going over there for 2 years. Unless they were rear echelon mother fuckers.(REMF's)

HUA.

**Darling Nikki** · 07-07-2005, 01:13 PM

Sorry to hear about that Heather. I know that must just tear you apart. The military funeral is very sad, it really makes you think. Especially when they shoot off the guns over and over.

**Kristi** · 07-07-2005, 01:24 PM

Ok, to clear some things up:

He broke up with Heather right before he left because he was supposed to be over there for two years and he wanted her to be able to live her life. He wrote that letter as a just in case and to let her know how much he loved her and that he PLANNED on giving her that engagement ring when he got back - but since he isn't coming back - he wanted her to have it anyway. She isn't technically his fiance, that is what he wanted her to be and he left her the engagement ring.

The family did refuse the military service - it seems because the grandfather is mad at them. I don't blame him for being mad. The mother loves Heather - she drove from LA just to see her and give her the things Paul wanted her to have. If she didn't like Heather she wouldn't have driven to M'ville to give that stuff to her.

And Alex - shut the fuck up. She isn't looking for sympathy - a lot of people on here know of the situation and keep asking for updates so she is posting them up. If you don't want to hear about it - don't fucking read it. Its that simple.

And I'm sorry Heather, but I am willing to pay for a ticket out there. It shouldn't cost too much and I will pay for you to rent a car or something out there as well. You need to go to pay final respects. I'm sure his mother would appreciate it.

Also - I have heard of people going over there for two years. A friend of mine was there for two years and came back and will be deployed again soon.

**AznTraitor** · 07-07-2005, 01:30 PM

Originally Posted by Kristi

Ok, to clear some things up:

He broke up with Heather right before he left because he was supposed to be over there for two years and he wanted her to be able to live her life. He wrote that letter as a just in case and to let her know how much he loved her and that he PLANNED on giving her that engagement ring when he got back - but since he isn't coming back - he wanted her to have it anyway. She isn't technically his fiance, that is what he wanted her to be and he left her the engagement ring.

The family did refuse the military service - it seems because the grandfather is mad at them. I don't blame him for being mad. The mother loves Heather - she drove from LA just to see her and give her the things Paul wanted her to have. If she didn't like Heather she wouldn't have driven to M'ville to give that stuff to her.

And Alex - shut the fuck up. She isn't looking for sympathy - a lot of people on here know of the situation and keep asking for updates so she is posting them up. If you don't want to hear about it - don't fucking read it. Its that simple.

And I'm sorry Heather, but I am willing to pay for a ticket out there. It shouldn't cost too much and I will pay for you to rent a car or something out there as well. You need to go to pay final respects. I'm sure his mother would appreciate it.

Also - I have heard of people going over there for two years. A friend of mine was there for two years and came back and will be deployed again soon.

I know that we dont always see eye to eye, but I can respect you for wanting to help and help pay for everything, you are a good sister for that.

now, no one should be mad at the military....everyone is quick to blame how it was someones or a groups fault, but we were not and are not in a draft, so everyone who is in the military is there because they chose to be.

now, maybe it's just me....but I think that Paul loved her more than she loved him....because reading thru all this for the past few months, she was always stated as just a "friend" never a ex or anything like that, and even when he went missing, he was still just a "friend", he wasnt even gone a year yet and she has dated, for someone who was so in love, I think they coulda held out a bit longer.

but that's just me......I might be out of line or reading things wrong.....but that's just my take on it.

**carrascopa** · 07-07-2005, 04:15 PM

Originally Posted by Kristi

Ok, to clear some things up:

He broke up with Heather right before he left because he was supposed to be over there for two years and he wanted her to be able to live her life. He wrote that letter as a just in case and to let her know how much he loved her and that he PLANNED on giving her that engagement ring when he got back - but since he isn't coming back - he wanted her to have it anyway. She isn't technically his fiance, that is what he wanted her to be and he left her the engagement ring.

The family did refuse the military service - it seems because the grandfather is mad at them. I don't blame him for being mad. The mother loves Heather - she drove from LA just to see her and give her the things Paul wanted her to have. If she didn't like Heather she wouldn't have driven to M'ville to give that stuff to her.

And Alex - shut the fuck up. She isn't looking for sympathy - a lot of people on here know of the situation and keep asking for updates so she is posting them up. If you don't want to hear about it - don't fucking read it. Its that simple.

And I'm sorry Heather, but I am willing to pay for a ticket out there. It shouldn't cost too much and I will pay for you to rent a car or something out there as well. You need to go to pay final respects. I'm sure his mother would appreciate it.

Also - I have heard of people going over there for two years. A friend of mine was there for two years and came back and will be deployed again soon.

why did you have to reply so rudely to me? I was making a simple suggestive statement and you start cussing at me??? I even stated i wasnt flaming.. I just think she is beating a dead horse. no offense to killpatty.. losing a friend or loved one sucks ass.. I ve had to endure it numerous times... But it just seems like enough is enough! she's not doing him any justice by posting every detail of her personal experience with his death for the world to see.

**A.P. Photography** · 07-07-2005, 04:28 PM

Originally Posted by carrascopa

why did you have to reply so rudely to me? I was making a simple suggestive statement and you start cussing at me??? I even stated i wasnt flaming.. I just think she is beating a dead horse. no offense to killpatty.. losing a friend or loved one sucks ass.. I ve had to endure it numerous times... But it just seems like enough is enough! she's not doing him any justice by posting every detail of her personal experience with his death for the world to see.

I agree, Kristi you did come at him very rudely and he clearly stated it was an inquiry and not a flame.

**kilpatty43** · 07-07-2005, 01:44 PM

ok kristi set a lot of it straight...heres the rest...

when paul left...we broke up...he was going to be gone for 2 years and he didnt want me to put my life on hold for him...adn the same went for him...ive dated 2 guys since he left but neither of them amounted to anything...i cared for them yes but not the same way i did for paul...i would never have let myself fall like that again bc i knew paul and me would never be over...and i waited a few months before i even considered dating...the reason i called him my friend all those times bc its easier than saying my former bf or my ex, etc...he is a dear friend and thus why i addressed him as such...in his letter he left me he told me that he loved me and planned on marrying me one day...he left me the ring...he loved me...but i never knew that until i read the letter...i cannot say that i loved him bc i simply dont know...ive never been in lvoe before...i felt more for paul than i have ever felt for anyone else...those feelings may be love but i dont know...and i never got the chance to find out...his feelings were greater than mine simply bc i hold myself and my feelings back to prevent myself from getting hurt...my issue and thats for another discussion...but i appreicate those who show concern...for those of you who simply want to flame me, etc...go ahead...i really dont care...it jsut shows that you have absolutely no compassion and no heart...

**Brett** · 07-07-2005, 01:48 PM

Heather, I will say this, when you find love, you will know it, no questions asked. It has a way of making sure you know when it hits.

But im with your sister, you NEED to go pay him respect at the funeral, I think you will regret it for the rest of your life if you are not there when they lay him in his final resting place.

**A.P. Photography** · 07-07-2005, 01:49 PM

^ I agree

**Spyder** · 07-07-2005, 02:02 PM

Originally Posted by Brett

Heather, I will say this, when you find love, you will know it, no questions asked. It has a way of making sure you know when it hits.

But im with your sister, you NEED to go pay him respect at the funeral, I think you will regret it for the rest of your life if you are not there when they lay him in his final resting place.

Exactly.

**kilpatty43** · 07-07-2005, 02:00 PM

yeah brett...thats what i figure...i think if we had had more time together it definitely would have happened...he was great...

as far as the funeral...i wasnt planning on going to begin with bc his mom was going to have a memorial here...but apparently she is in really bad shape and isnt doing well at all thus why the grandfather is taking charge...and i fear that if i go knowing that the grandfather didnt want me there i would only cause problems and i cant do that to pauls mother and brother...theyve been through enough and dont need that too...i already said my goodbye to him...there is a pow/mia memorial in snellville that i have visited many times since i lost paul...i said my goodbye there and i know he heard me...

**HyPer50** · 07-07-2005, 03:00 PM

I'm sorry to hear about that... But i really dont see how the grandfather can blame the military for his grandsons death... it was his decision, it's what he wanted to do, and he knew he may not make it back... You can't blame the military for that stuff. Luckily we haven't lost any of the many servicemen and women in my family, but I know IF we did we would not blame the US Military for there loss. I'd be more pissed off at the terrorist who do this stupid shit, not our guys. Anyways, hope it all works out for you.

**kilpatty43** · 07-07-2005, 03:17 PM

i dont think he blames the military...he is retired navy himself...pauls dad was a marine and paul was an army ranger...its a military family...im not very sure why he is refusing the military service...i guess maybe bc paul is being cremated so there is no burial...therefore no need for the military burial...

**HEATON** · 07-07-2005, 03:37 PM

Hyper, I was the one that suggested he was mad at the Mil. Jus for a lil info tidbit..The flag she will get is the actual one our special handlers drape on the metal caskets from here. EVen though he is bein cremated..21 guns can still be fired.

**kilpatty43** · 07-07-2005, 04:23 PM

alex i appreicate you comment and the only reason i have posted updates is bc there are several people on ia that ask for them...since im away at school i dont see everyone as often as id like to tell them thus why i post it on here...its easiest...

**Kristi** · 07-07-2005, 04:36 PM

because alex is a shit and he is saying that heather was just doing it for sympathy and that pisses me off because she wasn't doing that

and what has changed - last week he was telling her to fuck a corpse and now he understands? that makes sense.

and alex - you have a lot of room to talk - you come at me all the time with this shit and that is ok - this makes sense as well.

**carrascopa** · 07-07-2005, 04:53 PM

Originally Posted by Kristi

because alex is a shit and he is saying that heather was just doing it for sympathy and that pisses me off because she wasn't doing that

and what has changed - last week he was telling her to fuck a corpse and now he understands? that makes sense.

and alex - you have a lot of room to talk - you come at me all the time with this shit and that is ok - this makes sense as well.

whatever i say is in direct retaliation for your comments... even now i think you are looking for a fight???? It is quite obvious that you think im an asshole.. everyone knows you think im an asshole.. how bout next time you let me start at you, than please feel free to attack me however you see fit. But stop trying to provoke a fight.. that is your biggest problem

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