omfg!!!
so i'm sitting at home and i say to myself, "self!" and he says "huh??" i say "i'm hungry" he's like , "your right, but what are we gonna eat?!" so i ponder this for a second and say "well shit, i dont know. i dont feel like cooking but how 'bout we ride around and see what catches our attention." self is like "cool, we need to get outta the house anyway, the rain has stopped."
so i get in my truck, and head out onto ol' national highway. i begin heading towards fayetteville and just when i pass bethsaida road i change my mind and decide to go the opposite direction. i didnt feel like making a u-turn on account of traffic and decided to turn down this little gravel road that was next to a subdivision that was in the building phase. i cruise down this little gravel road, looking at houses and come to the end of the road. too narrow was it to do a u-turn and not wanting to pull into someones driveway and track mud on their shit i decide (note: i didnt eat in like 12 hours. i mostly eat 1-2xs a day.) i see that the subdivision has a road about 150 feet away from the end of the gravel drive. hence between the end of the road and the paved road of the division was dirt and tall grass. well i make it about 5 feet from the paved surface and guess the fuck what !!!??? the ground right before the paved road is absolutely saturated with water and i get stuck!! now feeling like a complete, starving idiot i try to right the wrong. i dig myself deeper in mud and now it's raining fuckin hard....i give up and begin walking back to the gravel road.
well the white nike shoes i was wearing are red....i laugh to myself and say it can't get any worse(i should know from past experience NOT to say that, aloud or in my head), i step where it looks like solid ground and my fucking foot goes completely into the ground, losing my balance i fall backwards.
JEEZ!! all i wanted was to get some food!!! i right myself, appearance check: demin jeans, ruined. white shoes, trashed, shirt, nevermind. i get outta the mud, walk down the gravel road and arrive at a house on the gravel road. in the driveway are 2 fullsize late model fords f-250, as i sheepishly ring the doorbell i look back to the trucks and on the side of each big enough for me to see are emblazOned on the side are the words :4X4 OFF ROAD. instantly my thoughts go back to my truck. i run the specs through my head and guess what....2.8LTR 2WHEEL DRIVE!! no limited slip, 400k plus miles on stock engine. jesus, the door opens up.
an elderly white man opens his door and now i , a 20something yr old black male covered in mud, has to explain his purpose for being on his doorstep.
" uh, how you doing sir,(picture blushing black male) i'm sorry to bug you. i was looking for a place to turn around and seeing as this gravel road was too narrow, i couldnt make a u turn and decided to make it through the subdivision onto the street and got stuck. if i could use your phone i will call a wrecker(damn!!! admitting defeat) and get myself out of this mess"
he looks at me....i look down with this smile like "damn i feel sooooo dumb!!" he says, "where are you stuck at"? i point in the direction and he's like, "well lemme see if i can get you out first, then i'll let you call the wrecker if not," i agree and he tells me of what he does and then the question comes i didnt want to answer again, "how'd you manage to get stuck way back there??" i tell him , he laughs , hard. "well son looking at your truck it's only a 2 wheel drive and yeah, uh huh, your stuck alright!" laughing he goes on, "see, i have a 4bah4 and with the rain i wouldnt even try this, well you got close though!" we get there and once again he looks , studies and says, "yep, your stuck alrighty, lemme see if my chains are long enough." i could tell that he was so amused but he did his best to keep his amusement to a minimum.
well now his young son arrives. he looks at the truck like "WTF??!!"
AND I SEE HIS EYES LIGHT UP LIKE SPOTLIGHTS! son: "uh, oh well, lemme see, i got some chains let's get you outta this mess." he's smiling like hell. gets into the OTHER ford f-250 once again marked 4X4 OFF ROAD and i take in what the scene looks like: here are 2 big ass fords, both 250's, both off road capable. enter ahmonrah, little red '83 s-10, 2wheel driven, no limited slip, stuck just mere feet from savcing myself the embarrassment of asking for assistance. at this point i wish i could just disappear, or at least sink into the mud or something. he ties a chain to his bumper (in my head the commercial we've all seen plays in my head, the one with the ford truck hanging in the air from ONE 4inch bolt in it's bed with the engineer standing under it. he hooks his FORD to my mini CHEVY and effortlessly snatches it outta the mud and onto the paved road 5 FEET AWAY from me !!! ME ,SON AND POPS stand there talking for a second, i offer to pay them, or buy them dinner or breakfast or something, they smile, decline and pops says, " well honestly i've had a laugh and it was worth it."
cue son and pops crakking up, me managing a deeply embarrassed "haha(looking down to ruined clothes) welp, guess i gotta clean these up" they drive off and i get into my MINI. it's covered in mud and so am i. i go, pick up my food looking like i've been MUDDIN and head str8 home.
man, today was a day.....
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by Halfwit
