Another Real Funny One......
If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy...Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is
an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then s! ent it to radio station
103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
Experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I
had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize
it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you w! hat happened to me,
I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit
to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite
cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the
water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is
taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several
times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the
hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole
suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scrat! ched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out
from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and
pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive
supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions
were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were
all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression.
When I arrive! d at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told
me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put
the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was
swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my
job."
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