Supposedly a true Soap story

[ShooterMcGavin]

TRUST ME, it gets better as you get into it

Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,
S. Berman


Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the three hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The six bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind.
This leaves only the three bars I left today, as my instructions from the management are to leave three soaps daily.
I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy
Relief Maid


Dear Maid -- I hope you are my regular maid.

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added three little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet.
I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.
Please remove them.

S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wednesday so the relief maid left three hotel soaps which we are instructed to do by the management. I took the six soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the three complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday.
Please let me know if I can of further assistance.

Your regular maid,
Dotty


Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience.

If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal
attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.

Thank you,
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper


Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty.
I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another three bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of three bars on the bath-room shelf.
In just five days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap.
Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps.
If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.

Thank you,
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper


Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem.
I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave three bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately.
Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager


Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here?!
All I want is my bath size Dial.
Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them.
The 24 Camays which had been taken and the three Camays you are supposed to receive daily (sic). I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets.
Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the three daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper


Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:

- On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
- On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
- On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
- Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
- In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
- On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
- On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries.

One more item: I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

[5thgcelica]

psh..i aint readin that shit.

[ironchef]

BTLFED notes please.

[ALVIN]

that was long...and long jokes make me feel stupid lol

[ALVIN]

sloRSX NOtes:

1) dude checks in gets soap
2) calls maid tells her he doesnt need soap since he brought his own
3) gets more soap
4) tells maid to take all the soap
5) she takes his personal soap
6) he asks for soap and get 54 bars plus 3 every day
7) keeps soap pilled in stacks of 4 because anything more will tip
8) buys another one of his personal soaps and stores in hotel vault

[SniperJoe]

Absoludely, did you ever eat paint chips when you were a kid?

/You know, those decorative pastel soaps in the bathroom aren't candy, I suggest that you stop eating them.

[ShooterMcGavin]

Absoludely, did you ever eat paint chips when you were a kid?

/You know, those decorative pastel soaps in the bathroom aren't candy, I suggest that you stop eating them.

maybe if i came up with this, but wait, i didn't, so the answer is no to your question.

[The Golden Child]

that was a stupid ass joke ..

[BigPoppaHurtm]

That was some funny shit. Not but definetly a .

[RandomGuy]

RG NOTES:

When dealing with 2- and 3-dimensional vectors in Euclidean Space, as we have been doing all along, different methods of vector multiplication can be very helpful. The notions of vector multiplication we will define allow us to extract useful geometric information about our vectors.
The first type of vector multiplication we will discuss is called the dot product. The dot product involves multiplying two vectors together to get a scalar, not another vector (for this reason, the dot product is often referred to as a scalar product). We will use the dot product to obtain information about the length (or magnitude) of vectors, as well as to compute the degree to which two vectors "overlap." We will define the dot product in both the 2- and 3-dimensional cases.
The second kind of vector multiplication we will find useful is called the cross product. Contrary to the dot product, the cross product multiplies two vectors together to obtain a third vector rather than a scalar. However, we will only be able to define the cross product in the case of 3-dimensional vectors. There is no cross product in the 2-dimensional case.

[BigPoppaHurtm]

RG NOTES:

When dealing with 2- and 3-dimensional vectors in Euclidean Space, as we have been doing all along, different methods of vector multiplication can be very helpful. The notions of vector multiplication we will define allow us to extract useful geometric information about our vectors.
The first type of vector multiplication we will discuss is called the dot product. The dot product involves multiplying two vectors together to get a scalar, not another vector (for this reason, the dot product is often referred to as a scalar product). We will use the dot product to obtain information about the length (or magnitude) of vectors, as well as to compute the degree to which two vectors "overlap." We will define the dot product in both the 2- and 3-dimensional cases.
The second kind of vector multiplication we will find useful is called the cross product. Contrary to the dot product, the cross product multiplies two vectors together to obtain a third vector rather than a scalar. However, we will only be able to define the cross product in the case of 3-dimensional vectors. There is no cross product in the 2-dimensional case.

Your math sounds off dude. I believe you will eventually get a cross product in the 2-dimensional case when FTW BITCH STAY ON TOPIC

[fight club]

haha nice.