1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table
was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too
much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra
class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got
a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll
still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and
was cited for littering.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

10. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on
a-head.'

11. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

12. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
'Keep off the Grass.'

13. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken
to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to
ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

14. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison
was a small medium, at large.

16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper
spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a
taste of religion.

18. Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!

Later, QD.