Attn: Automotive shop workers. Post dumb quotes from customers.

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Originally Posted by green91

^^ your sig quote doesnt make any sense.

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You would have to read the whole thing. Its several paragraghs. Brilliant though.
If I come across it I'll PM it to you :goodjob:

hehehe i like this thread : )

makes me chuckle!

you make me chuckle

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Originally Posted by EmminoDaGreat

Us: Don't beat on your car, this is just a base map so you can break it in without boosting...
Them: OK

Car drives away, and you hear boosting like a mofo...
Comes back smoking like a chimney.
Us: wtf?
Them: The boost gauge only said 1 psi...
Us: Turn the car off...
Them: ok
Us: you see how the gauge is not on 0 its on 10 vacuum side?
Them: ya.
Us: well, that meens your gauge isnt working right, it should be at zero,and that you boosted somewhere around 11psi on it..
Them: oh....

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lol i know who that was

Ha! Nice guys! I have another:

Customer: "I want to make 500whp in my SC with a 2JZ and then run 10's in the 1/4"

Me: "Ok so now you have the power upgrades, how's about some suspension to get the power to the ground?"

Customer: "You are just trying to sell me something. No thanks."


HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO RUN 10'S ON STOCK SC SUSPENSION (prolly not even possible with that HP, but def NOT possible without suspension)?????????

Oh oh! Good one.

Customer: "I want 500 hp in my Civic. What all do I need besides the turbo kit?"

Me: Upgraded brakes, upgraded tranny, etc."

Customer: "No thanks, I only have $3k budgeted and my turbo kit costs $4k."

2 weeks later....

Customer: "I blew my tranny and it's my only car and I need it for school and work and I spent all of my money on the ebay turbo kit!"


DOH!

i HATE the:

"how much for a 2JZ in my 240sx?"

*give them a quote*

"Ok, how much for a LS1 in my 240sx?"

*give them a quote*

"HMmmmm ok how much for an RB26 in my 240sx?"

*give them quote*

"How much for an RB25 in my 240sx?"

*getting annoyed, give another quote*

"Ok, what can i get for $2000"

*a motherfucking hang up bitch, thats what you get*CLICK

^^ ROFL! thats funny.

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Originally Posted by Vteckidd

i HATE the:

"how much for a 2JZ in my 240sx?"

*give them a quote*

"Ok, how much for a LS1 in my 240sx?"

*give them a quote*

"HMmmmm ok how much for an RB26 in my 240sx?"

*give them quote*

"How much for an RB25 in my 240sx?"

*getting annoyed, give another quote*

"Ok, what can i get for $2000"

*a motherfucking hang up bitch, thats what you get*CLICK

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:lmfao: For real. That's about all $2k will get you in this industry.

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Originally Posted by Tracy

:lmfao: For real. That's about all $2k will get you in this industry.

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oh the stories we used to swap back in the day.........lol

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Vteckidd

i HATE the:

"how much for a 2JZ in my 240sx?"

*give them a quote*

"Ok, how much for a LS1 in my 240sx?"

*give them a quote*

"HMmmmm ok how much for an RB26 in my 240sx?"

*give them quote*

"How much for an RB25 in my 240sx?"

*getting annoyed, give another quote*

"Ok, what can i get for $2000"

*a motherfucking hang up bitch, thats what you get*CLICK

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OMG :lmfao::lmfao::lmfao: Now THAT made me LIRL! LOL...Vegeta

i wonder if people ever think about the stupid shit they say, or if they even realize what they are saying.

I remembered this one last night. This was when I was working at Honda back in the day.
I get the repair order and it states:
Dashboard vibrates when AC turned on. (Possible hamster)
I go ok and pull the car in. Turn the fan on and the entire dash vibrates hardcore.
I pull the blower motor and theres a dead rodent that thought the blower motor was a hampster wheel. Dump out the hamster and spray the blower motor down with friggy fresh. That was a memorable one.

Another Honda story.
The guy beside me gets an RO that says "Car running rough"
He pulls the car in and thats when I learned a Honda can run even with a hole in the block. Jiffy Lube changed the oil, didnt put any back in. It blew up and THEN they put oil in it. :goodjob:

A service advisor told me about a cust that came in and wanted all the H's in the center caps facing the same way......

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Originally Posted by Bus Driver J

A service advisor told me about a cust that came in and wanted all the H's in the center caps facing the same way......

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:lmfao:

thats a good one.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bus Driver J

I remembered this one last night. This was when I was working at Honda back in the day.
I get the repair order and it states:
Dashboard vibrates when AC turned on. (Possible hamster)
I go ok and pull the car in. Turn the fan on and the entire dash vibrates hardcore.
I pull the blower motor and theres a dead rodent that thought the blower motor was a hampster wheel. Dump out the hamster and spray the blower motor down with friggy fresh. That was a memorable one.

Another Honda story.
The guy beside me gets an RO that says "Car running rough"
He pulls the car in and thats when I learned a Honda can run even with a hole in the block. Jiffy Lube changed the oil, didnt put any back in. It blew up and THEN they put oil in it. :goodjob:

A service advisor told me about a cust that came in and wanted all the H's in the center caps facing the same way......

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Sadly when I was service manager at Jiffy Lube one of the techs did this to a 96 Integra and she came back like 4 hours later, it was summer and I don't know how that thing didn't blow up......I felt a little pain inside since I had the same car at the time.

lol this thread is great.

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Originally Posted by Slomaro Z28

Sadly when I was service manager at Jiffy Lube one of the techs did this to a 96 Integra and she came back like 4 hours later, it was summer and I don't know how that thing didn't blow up......I felt a little pain inside since I had the same car at the time.

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Unfortunately there has been too many horror stories from the Jiffy. As long as you check your oil before you pull out of the parking lot everything whould be peachy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bus Driver J

I remembered this one last night. This was when I was working at Honda back in the day.
I get the repair order and it states:
Dashboard vibrates when AC turned on. (Possible hamster)
I go ok and pull the car in. Turn the fan on and the entire dash vibrates hardcore.
I pull the blower motor and theres a dead rodent that thought the blower motor was a hampster wheel. Dump out the hamster and spray the blower motor down with friggy fresh. That was a memorable one.

Another Honda story.
The guy beside me gets an RO that says "Car running rough"
He pulls the car in and thats when I learned a Honda can run even with a hole in the block. Jiffy Lube changed the oil, didnt put any back in. It blew up and THEN they put oil in it. :goodjob:

A service advisor told me about a cust that came in and wanted all the H's in the center caps facing the same way......

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Oh yea! We had this one customer who we worked on his car a lot. We changed his oil one time along with a few other things we were doing. We use mostly Fram/Purolator oil filters. So, this guy comes back with rod knock. We check the oil, no oil. Bone ass dry. So we tell him the bad news. He proceeds to tell us that we changed the oil last. I was like, that's funny. There is a mysterious Napa filter in there. We have never used a Napa filter here on any customer car.

After I helped refresh his memory, he remembered that he had his oil changed somewhere else. This was after he gave me a thorough thrashing over the phone and tried to do the same in person.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tracy

Oh yea! We had this one customer who we worked on his car a lot. We changed his oil one time along with a few other things we were doing. We use mostly Fram/Purolator oil filters. So, this guy comes back with rod knock. We check the oil, no oil. Bone ass dry. So we tell him the bad news. He proceeds to tell us that we changed the oil last. I was like, that's funny. There is a mysterious Napa filter in there. We have never used a Napa filter here on any customer car.

After I helped refresh his memory, he remembered that he had his oil changed somewhere else. This was after he gave me a thorough thrashing over the phone and tried to do the same in person.

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Its awesome how well peoples memory comes back when they realize how good of investigators we are. I had tons of customers at Mercedes admit their wrongs after we were able to show proof of them fuckin up.
They think we are just dumb grease monkeys......

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bus Driver J

Its awesome how well peoples memory comes back when they realize how good of investigators we are. I had tons of customers at Mercedes admit their wrongs after we were able to show proof of them fuckin up.
They think we are just dumb grease monkeys......

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w3rd. I'm so glad that we get people to sign their invoices before they leave because we always make sure that it tells the whole story.

I work at the front counter at YearOne on occasion (normally i work in shipping so i don't have to worry about the fuck-nuts)

I get allllll the time:

Me: how's it going, sir?
CUST: good... i need... well i need, it's a little black piece under the dash
Me: ok... what kind of car are you working on?
CUST: '69 camaro
Me: ok... do you have any idea what it does?
CUST: nah, not really. it doesn't work anymore, it's like a sensor or something. I don't have my cluster in right now so I don't know what's not working
Me: oh. well i don't really know what to tell you
CUST: well you don't have a manual or anything
Me: well maybe, but you can't really tell what everything is
CUST: well what the hell did i come here for?
Me: i'm sorry, sir. if you can figure out what it is i can find it no problem
CUST: bye


WTF? lol. i don't know what every piece on every car ever made is lol.

people always wanted me to tell them what pieces were that weren't even on their car anymore.

lol a woman brought her sentra back to my Nissan dealership i worked at, said it smelled like oil and was smoking. we pop the hood, the oil cap is not screwed on right, its jammed in there cocked and oil has sprayed over the exhaust mani. she said well we did the oil change last, its our fault. We checked the computer, her last oil change was when she bought the car, over a year ago. We doubled checked with her, we were the last to change it, even the window sticker was still on the inside. 12 months and countless miles overdue. Then she remembers her husband looked at it that morning, before it started smoking. Then we had to talk her into getting a oil change, after telling her she just toke years off her cars life by running it with same oil. There are so many more, i cant remember most of them. they just kinda blend together when you get used to it lol. My car squeaks when I check my mailbox before I leave at 5:35 in the morning, on Wednesdays and there was a light dew and its not a full moon and my cat slept the whole night.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tracy

w3rd. I'm so glad that we get people to sign their invoices before they leave because we always make sure that it tells the whole story.

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Tracy, why the edit? LOL

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Originally Posted by EP3sAreFun

I wanna play :)

i work the front parts counter at a Dealer... heres a couple

him- I'M GETTING A CODE SAYING MY CAT IS INEFFICIENT
me- YOU PROBABLY NEED TO REPLACE THE CAT THEN SIR.
him- NO, ITS JUST INEFFICIENT, I WANNA DO A TUNE UP AND THAT SHOULD FIX IT. SO I NEED SPARK PLUGS WIRES, ROTOR, AND A DISTRIBUTOR CAP.
me- SIR YOUR CAR HAS INDIVIDUAL COIL PACKS, THEY ARE NOT A SCHEDULED MAINTENANCE ITEM AND DON'T EXPIRE LIKE TRANSMISSION FLUID OR SPARK PLUGS
him- OKAY, WELL I WANNA REPLACE THEM ANYWAY.
me- OKAY, THEY ARE 143 EACH.
him- OH. WELL NEVERMIND THEN

and...

asian man: I need Sensor
me: okay. what year and model car
asian man: its a 2005 Toyota
me: okay, what kind of Toyota
asian man: Yes
me:what?
asian man: yes, Sensor
me:Okay, but what kind of Toyota
asian man: Oh, Camry
me: okay then *clicky clicky* 4cyl or v6?
asian man: 6
me: *clicky clicky* now what sensor do you need?
asian man: yes
me: No, i mean which sensor?
asian man: Oh, I dunno. Store tell me i need Oxygen sensor
me: Oh okay, did they tell you which one?
asian man: they say front
me: okay, bank 1 or 2?
asian man: no, just need sensor
me: Right, but is it Firewall or radiator side?
asian man: oh, firewall
me: *clicky clicky* okay that sensor is 250 and i carry it in stock
asian man: OMG why so expensive?
me: thats jut what Toyota prices it at?
asian man: oh okay well i need
me:k. *print invoice* & *goes to grab part*
asian man: *looks at invoice* this is wrong
me: what? why do you say that?
asian man: it say Air Fuel Ratio, i need O2 sensor.
me: that sensor is a air fuel on your car.
asian man: oh, so it will work?
me:yes
asian man: oh okay.... Oh!, I have shop. i get discount?
me: #$%^#$%^#$%

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Lollerjihad

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Originally Posted by simontibbett

LMFAO that happens to me all the time, one guy told me he made a dispute until the item arrived so I couldn't run... :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

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We know you run with the money...:2up:




:taun: j/k

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bus Driver J

Unfortunately there has been too many horror stories from the Jiffy. As long as you check your oil before you pull out of the parking lot everything whould be peachy.

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Yes, it all has to do with most of the people working don't give two craps about their job. Also Wal-Mart has alot of issues with stripping out drain plugs, I shop at wal-mart but will not let them touch my car.

Yo Kidd I want 500hp to the wheel yo in my geo..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by EP3sAreFun

asian man: I need Sensor
me: okay. what year and model car
asian man: its a 2005 Toyota
me: okay, what kind of Toyota
asian man: Yes
me:what?
asian man: yes, Sensor
me:Okay, but what kind of Toyota
asian man: Oh, Camry
me: okay then *clicky clicky* 4cyl or v6?
asian man: 6
me: *clicky clicky* now what sensor do you need?
asian man: yes
me: No, i mean which sensor?
asian man: Oh, I dunno. Store tell me i need Oxygen sensor
me: Oh okay, did they tell you which one?
asian man: they say front
me: okay, bank 1 or 2?
asian man: no, just need sensor
me: Right, but is it Firewall or radiator side?
asian man: oh, firewall
me: *clicky clicky* okay that sensor is 250 and i carry it in stock
asian man: OMG why so expensive?
me: thats jut what Toyota prices it at?
asian man: oh okay well i need
me:k. *print invoice* & *goes to grab part*
asian man: *looks at invoice* this is wrong
me: what? why do you say that?
asian man: it say Air Fuel Ratio, i need O2 sensor.
me: that sensor is a air fuel on your car.
asian man: oh, so it will work?
me:yes
asian man: oh okay.... Oh!, I have shop. i get discount?
me: #$%^#$%^#$%

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hahaha

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Originally Posted by Bus Driver J

A service advisor told me about a cust that came in and wanted all the H's in the center caps facing the same way......

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:lmfao: LMFAO

I love this thread!

I had a customer ask me

Customer: "if i put in straight anti-freeze in my radiator will it freeze even though i didnt mix it with water?"

me: ?????????????????????????????????????????

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Originally Posted by Bus Driver J

Tracy, why the edit? LOL

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I figured I might hurt someone's feelings. The story is not so general. LOL. I'll spare him today.

I always enjoyed when people would try to buy One brake pad. and then get pissed off cause they only come in a set. Or the All so famous I need part X for a 350. Which one? they are all the same.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Slomaro Z28

Yes, it all has to do with most of the people working don't give two craps about their job. Also Wal-Mart has alot of issues with stripping out drain plugs, I shop at wal-mart but will not let them touch my car.

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Dude, I couldnt tell you how many cars I worked on with stripped drain plugs.
I had MANY customers complain about oil leaks that were caused by drain plug washers. 20 oil changes and they were never replaced and became egg shaped.

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Originally Posted by Tracy

I figured I might hurt someone's feelings. The story is not so general. LOL. I'll spare him today.

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LUL, I figured that. It *was* a bit specific ;)

Despite my temptation to start something, I won't haha.

But we get tons of crazy hicks in since we're out in the boondocks. And all of them have a "project" that's "at home" and "oh yeah... she's putting down about 700 horse", and they then proceed to take an hour telling us about it. I'm gonna start charging people for storytelling time haha.

I work at Advance Auto Parts and every quarter or so we have a "oil change special" and here's how some of them go.

them: you guys got an oil change special?
me: yup, 5 qts of BLA BLA with oil filter for $whatever
them: ok cool, ill take it
me: alrite, total is $whatever
them: where do i pull the car up?
me: for...?
them: oil change
me: ohhh, take it to the back

*goes out, comes back in*

them: hey man, the bay is closed *referring to the truck door*
me: oh yeah thats right, I forgot we are a parts store and not a shop
them: *kinda stare at me* well, umm, so umm, i gotta take it to a shop?
me: I think so sir.
me: have a good one

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Originally Posted by HeLLo iM iZzY

I work at Advance Auto Parts and every quarter or so we have a "oil change special" and here's how some of them go.

them: you guys got an oil change special?
me: yup, 5 qts of BLA BLA with oil filter for $whatever
them: ok cool, ill take it
me: alrite, total is $whatever
them: where do i pull the car up?
me: for...?
them: oil change
me: ohhh, take it to the back

*goes out, comes back in*

them: hey man, the bay is closed *referring to the truck door*
me: oh yeah thats right, I forgot we are a parts store and not a shop
them: *kinda stare at me* well, umm, so umm, i gotta take it to a shop?
me: I think so sir.
me: have a good one

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LULz, but is also kind of mean. But funny.

There's so many more though. Some people call up asking really stupid things. There's this one chick that called up a while back, lol.

"Hey, um, my check engine light is on and I'm afraid to drive the car, anywhere"
"You'll be fine, just bring it up here so we can check it out"
"You sure? I dont want it to die"
"Yes, you'll be fine"

LOL...

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Originally Posted by HeLLo iM iZzY

There's so many more though. Some people call up asking really stupid things. There's this one chick that called up a while back, lol.

"Hey, um, my check engine light is on and I'm afraid to drive the car, anywhere"
"You'll be fine, just bring it up here so we can check it out"
"You sure? I dont want it to die"
"Yes, you'll be fine"

LOL...

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:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

Had a guy come in with a new Lincoln Mark LT truck. 2008 model with 40,000 or so miles, knocking like a bitch. First thing, checked the oil. It was like grease, so look for an oil change sticker and there wasn't one. Checked to see what kinda filter it had... factory. He never had an oil change and expected warranty to fix his truck. :lmao:

I called Autozone and they told me some Miatas come with rotaries...

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Originally Posted by simontibbett

I called Autozone and they told me some Miatas come with rotaries...

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Yea it was me..... :ninja:

"my oil life indicator said i have 60% oil LIFE left so i added 4qrts of oil and it still didn't turn off, so i added 4 more qrts of oil and the light was still on so i brought it to you guy's. why wont the light turn off?"

dumb ass lady had 16qrts of oil in her deville. i was surprised the car was still running. LMFAO!!!