FUCK YO COUCH....

[BABY J]

So one day I get home and I think to myself, "dude, I really want to fuck something". I start thinking to myself, "its like warrrrm apple pie" -- but who keeps warm apple pie on hand ? Fail. So I go into the kitchen and look for shit to fuck :boobies: but I did'nt find anything... fail. Then, this crazy ass idea came to my head --- so I grab one of these plastic bags that are sitting there. Plastic bag : CHECK. I went to the bathroom, looked for something like a bottle that I can fab up and make something fuckable out of --- b/c I got crazy JDM tyte fab skillz son. Problem is though, I've always had this fat and thick thing of a penis - so nothing would work - fail. So I grab a mason jar -- it was too tight of a squeeze --- booooo. By this time I'm pissed, so I head over to the leather couch -- I "installed" the zip baggy in the crease of the couch, grabbed a hand full of vasoline - I just eyeballed the amount, I didn't have time to measure it at this point.... and I just "gooked it" (that's a technical term, not one for you to worry about too much) on the bag. I like to take my time, so I just fingered it for a lil bit to get it hott... then I went down on it --- man, Vaseline is not delicious by any stretch of the imagination. Anyway --- after that I went to town for about 3 minutes... maybe even 4 "That couch got fucked up son!" I was like :idb: --> take it to the house I beat that shit up fa sho.






This post has been posted for entertainment purposes only. I can neither confirm nor deny that this actually happened last Tuesday night at about 11:30PM. That is all.

[BABY J]

PS: I'm drumk.

[thecrazyone]

So one day I get home and I think to myself, "dude, I really want to fuck something". I start thinking to myself, "its like warrrrm apple pie" -- but who keeps warm apple pie on hand ? Fail. So I go into the kitchen and look for shit to fuck :boobies: but I did'nt find anything... fail. Then, this crazy ass idea came to my head --- so I grab one of these plastic bags that are sitting there. Plastic bag : CHECK. I went to the bathroom, looked for something like a bottle that I can fab up and make something fuckable out of --- b/c I got crazy JDM tyte fab skillz son. Problem is though, I've always had this fat and thick thing of a penis - so nothing would work - fail. So I grab a mason jar -- it was too tight of a squeeze --- booooo. By this time I'm pissed, so I head over to the leather couch -- I "installed" the zip baggy in the crease of the couch, grabbed a hand full of vasoline - I just eyeballed the amount, I didn't have time to measure it at this point.... and I just "gooked it" (that's a technical term, not one for you to worry about too much) on the bag. I like to take my time, so I just fingered it for a lil bit to get it hott... then I went down on it --- man, Vaseline is not delicious by any stretch of the imagination. Anyway --- after that I went to town for about 3 minutes... maybe even 4 "That couch got fucked up son!" I was like :idb: --> take it to the house I beat that shit up fa sho.






This post has been posted for entertainment purposes only. I can neither confirm nor deny that this actually happened last Tuesday night at about 11:30PM. That is all.

epic lulz?

[FasTech]

Baby J, Step away from the bottle!!!

[Revmaynard]

Damn son! What are you drinkin' on!?

[TheGrillMan]

i know right

quit hoggin

[BABY J]

MINE!!! AND YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY!

[Revmaynard]

That ain't cool.

[BABY J]

That ain't cool.

Sadly - this is true.

[04sleepa]

lmao wow

[3.5altman]

Yea what was you drinking! lol

[collins]

absinte