F*cking Dentist

[Ran]

Went and got some impressions done on my teeth the other day. I needed a mouth guard since I grind my teeth in my sleep. All is fine and dandy for most of the procedure...except for one part.

You know that little suction tube they put in your mouth to keep you from drooling everywhere? Well, they decided to not use the little one with the capped end. Instead, they use this big f*cking open-ended tube that could suck the meat off a T-Bone.

About five minutes into the procedure, the motherf*cker sucks in my uvula (the thing hanging in the back of your throat) and proceeds to try and rip it from the back of my mouth. So there I am, freaking out in an insane amount of pain, about to throw up, and drooling f*cking everywhere. The dental assistant proceeds to keep trying to pull this tube out of my throat while continuing to try and rip my uvula out. After about three minutes of this, she gets the idea to turn off the power to the tube and finally frees my throat.

Now I'm sitting here with a f*cking cut on my uvula and it hurts when I eat or drink anything. Sh*t sucks.

Just thought I'd share.

Cliffs 4 Lazy Jack@sses
Ran goes to Dentist
Dentist uses Big Suction Drool Tube instead of Small Tube
Big Tube sucks in Ran's Uvula (the thing hanging in the back of your throat)
Ran's Throat is almost Ripped Out
Ran's Uvula now has a Cut on It
It f*cking hurts