Funny story......or I thought it was
A post in another thread reminded me of a story I though you guys would find funny.
I grew up in southern Pennsylvania, not too far from the chesapeake bay. Famouse for their crabs I was rasied eating, catching and cooking them. My sister went to grad school in Denver and brought a few friends home for the Bonnaroo music festival, we ate crabs. One girl she brought who was rather attractive had never eaten such a creature before and asked me to show her how.
I grabbed her a big one and sat down next to her cute little ass.
"Flip it over" I said
she did
ME: Now do you see that long thing right there?
HER: Yes
ME: Thats the penis, rip it off(at this point my father knows where this is
going and begins to laugh)
HER: EWW!!!!(she does it)
ME: Those two things right there are its balls, pull them off and throw them away.
HER: Are you ****ing with me?
ME: No honey I will need to get you a little drunker before we head down that road.( my mother smacks me) she then pulls its balls off.
ME: Flip it back over(she does) now rip its face off.
at this point she has handed the crab to me and said "you do it for me"
ME: I told you later, after a few more drinks(mom hits me again)
SO I then rip Mr.Crabs face off and his top shell.
"OK THIS IS THE FUN PART" I slurr out......did I mention I was smashed?
I then rip Mr.Crabs intestines out and say "HOLD THESE A SECOND!!"
she holds out her hand and I plop them down in her cute little paw
"What is that?" she says
I reply "Well the yellow stuff is a mixture of things...fat, bile, poop.
she drops it on the ground
I then say, the white stringy things are intestines
At this point she gets up and and walks away.
Everyone at the pary thought is was funny.......my sister and her hot friend.......not so much.
I did however make her a home made crab cake that she said was "the best thing she had ever eaten"
Every part of my body screamed NO DON'T DO IT. But slowed my the large amount of beer and scotch that had made a nice home in my soft fatty tissue I was unable to stop what I said next.
"Well honey it's apparent my **** has never been in your mouth"
She laughed it off and gave me a little kiss on the cheek but the look in her eyes said it all. "NO ******* AND IT NEVER WILL BE"
I later ****ed her in the ass
GOODNIGHT IA!!!!!
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Originally Posted by AlanŽ
