THE PERFECT DAY - FOR THINKFAST

[thinkfast®]

I WOULD SAY A TYPICAL DAY, BUT IT CAN BE VIEWED AS PERFECT TO SOME!


8:45 BJ, still half passed out but manage to kick heiffer out (no cab fare)
9:00 wake up
10:15 wake up for reals
10:16 light pre-packed bowl
10:45 get outta bed
11:01 get a call from the homey, he got a sack of Calis finest and refuses to smoke alone
11:15 finish ironing Dic.kies, wife beater

11:18 roll a blunt for the road trip to the homeys spot ( approx 1 mile )
11:20 walk downstairs, grab the 1/5th of cognac from last nite
11:21 proceed outside only to be blinded by the chrome from car
11:22 go back inside for locs
11:23 finish bowl
11:25 start watchin American Me, hold back tears when lil Puppet gets choked out
1:00 disconnect battery charger from lowrider; find cat paw prints on trunk/roof area
1:26 see the dirtbag cat nestled under car; pull it out and proceed to threaten cat, mash finger in its face then punt it into neighbors yard which has 2 rottwiellers
1:27 throw up WESTSIDE to the rott doggies (they are good pals of mine)
1:28 see USPS delivering mail, wave and say good morning to postal carrier
1:29 tell mailman to go fuk his self after refusing to acknowledge polite gesture

1:35 hop in Chevy, get in altercation at light w/ young caucasian; says you cut him off, get out of car and proceed to beat on window when caucasian refuses to step out "just to talk"
1:40 light up the swisher
1:42 on way to homeys house you are photographed in car, smile for camera and tell hoochies to call later
1:45 get a call from homey on the chirp, askin where the fuk Im at (he gets uptight when you mess w/ his smoke time, and you know this)
1:48 after his tirade explain you got caught up watchin American Me
1:50 homey understands, American Me is best movie ever made (won award)
3:45 wake up from smoke session, you are shirtless and dont know why
3:50 chick comes out from bathroom, upset because you passed out while beating her brakes off, also upset because you ashed blunt on her back
3:51 kick the heiffer out, she is a dime store hooker and always will be, you also let her know this
4:00 go outside, apologize to heiffer but she understands thats how you roll; she proceeds to compliment your chrome on the ride
4:01 grab oldies CD from car, prepare another blunt
4:30 get a call from the other homeys, they are bored of smoking alone
4:35 light it up!
5:30 get another call from homey, asking why noone is opening door
5:35 realize you were passed out, help homey out by grabbing the 22's he brought (whatta pal)

5:40 call work, tell bossman you wont be in today (shift started at 9am) he understands thats how you roll
6:00 put on latest volume of Cali Swangin, light up blunt and call up hoodrats to put in food order
8:45 chicks get there extra late, use random vulgarities towards them while playing Madden 08
9:24 pass blunt, get a call from sister saying neighbor is at door crying over lost cat, asks if I know anything
9:25 deny any involvement, say something about the neighbors crazy ass rotts casing that cat since last week
9:30 get hoochie to roll up blunt, line up dominoes w/ the homeys & proceed to whoop dat ass (in usual fashion)
11:56 homey passes out, start wondering about ganja overdose
12:15 get into heated discussion about situation in Iraq
12:16 tell a few spanish jokes, get applause and a high five while lighting blunt
12:30 talk about upcoming election and voter rights, take survey asking who is voting
12:32 realize homeys are felons and/or illegal therefore not voting
12:45 tell hoodrats to go home, it is too late to be out and I dont associate w/ women of the night
1am wonder about weed smoke and if I should stop, tell the homey my idea
1:01 homey passes out from laughter and ensuing bump on glass table
1:14 call it a night, call up random skank to come over on the double
1:20 get home, see animal control outside another house, apparently body/remains of cat was found in front yard down the street (smart doggies)

THATS RIGHT