Funnay-er jokes

[IndianStig]

Eye Exam

A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examing his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."
The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"

The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."




A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."







Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"

The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.

The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?"

"I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch.

"What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American.

He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."





One day a preist, a rabbi, and cardinal all walk in the bar for a pint of beer.

As they are asking for their drinks the bartender asks;"Is this some kinda joke?"

[DJ XtRaK©]

nope...youre an idiot too

[boosted1jz]

bwaaaaaaahahahhahahah those r great!!! +1 for j000000

[IndianStig]

see, +rep for boosted

die DJ

[silver]

funnay

[Kevykev]

hahahha funny jokes!

[A1EX]

nice

[boosted1jz]

Two men are driving through Rockhampton when they get pulled over by the boys in blue. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick.
"What the hell was that for?" the driver asks.
"You're in Queensland mate" the copper answers. "When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car."
"I'm sorry, officer," the driver says, "I'm from Victoria".
The copper runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean-- and gives the guy his license back. The copper then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the copper smacks him on the head with the nightstick.
"What'd you do that for?" the passenger asks.
"Just making your wish come true," replies the copper.
"Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asks.
"Because I know," the copper says," that two miles down the road you're gonna turn to your mate and say, "I wish that asshole would've tried that shit with me!"

[silver]

Two men are driving through Rockhampton when they get pulled over by the boys in blue. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick.
"What the hell was that for?" the driver asks.
"You're in Queensland mate" the copper answers. "When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car."
"I'm sorry, officer," the driver says, "I'm from Victoria".
The copper runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean-- and gives the guy his license back. The copper then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the copper smacks him on the head with the nightstick.
"What'd you do that for?" the passenger asks.
"Just making your wish come true," replies the copper.
"Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asks.
"Because I know," the copper says," that two miles down the road you're gonna turn to your mate and say, "I wish that asshole would've tried that shit with me!"

Not so much...

[kelly marie]

Not so much...

ditto....

[boosted1jz]

In a city park stood two statues, one female, and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years.
Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." And with that command, the statues came to life.
The two statues smiled at each other, ran towards some nearby woods, and dived behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling, and twigs snapping.
After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues,"You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?" Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure, - But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll shit on its head!"

[B16a2 Civic]

yeah, thats the funnay

[IndianStig]

#1 is ok
#2 is funnay

goodjob boosted