The Dysfunctional Section of a Hallmark Store

[noridetoolow]

The Dysfunctional Section of a Hallmark Store





I must admit, you brought religion into my life....



(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.



~



As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....



(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.



~



Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....



(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.



~



Someday I hope to marry...



(Inside card) - Someone other than you.



~



Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....



(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!



~



When we were together, you said you'd die for me...



(Inside card) - Now that we've broken up, I think it's time to keep

your promise.



~



We've been friends for a very long time...



(Inside card) - What do you say we stop?



~



I'm so miserable without you...



(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.



~



Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....



(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?



~



You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...



(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.



~



Your friends and I wanted to do something really special for your

birthday...



(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.



~



Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!



(Available only in Alabama)

[BobbyFresco]

Most of these were funny as hell...Reps for you....

Edit:

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to noridetoolow again.

[IronEagle]

Haha

[Halfwit]

pretty good.