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  1. #1
    Virginity Cure BABY J's Avatar
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    Default SUMMER POEM...

    I am kinda sensitive about my craft - but I want to know what you guys think about this. I wrote this over the last few summers and I finally got it finished.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails -summer-jpg  
    "I'm not a gynecologist... but I'll take a look."


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    IA's MIA'r Sammich's Avatar
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    shits got potential dude..i've never written a more true heart warming poem in my life..definitely better maya angelou



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    Stops the Resistance 81911SC's Avatar
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    I like the wide vocabulary and use of stentance structure. The underlying meaning is a nice touch as well. Overall great story, Mr. Frost.

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    ** whew **

    I was beginning to think that younger audiences would not understand all the play on words... and maybe my delivery was a bit slow. But those are the chances that we artists take when we live on the edge.
    "I'm not a gynecologist... but I'll take a look."


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    IA's MIA'r Sammich's Avatar
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    u must live on the edge, u must
    if u dnt u will live, in the dust



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?

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    Delightfully Creepy Ran's Avatar
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    Required Reading Grades 4-6

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    Virginity Cure BABY J's Avatar
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    My next poem is entitled: "George Bush and Paris Hilton"

    and the poem reads:

    "Ummmm. No."

    It's for a more mature audience.
    "I'm not a gynecologist... but I'll take a look."


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    IA's MIA'r Sammich's Avatar
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    i cnt wait to read that one or even the winter poem ur going to have comin out..u r goin to have one right?



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?

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    Virginity Cure BABY J's Avatar
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    Yeah - winter poem reads:

    "OMG! STFU! GTFO"
    "I'm not a gynecologist... but I'll take a look."


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    IA's MIA'r Sammich's Avatar
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    now thats deeper than pamela andersons....



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?

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    RISKY RISKYB's Avatar
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    damn good, i agree
    You only live once, maybe twice if you use the e-brake!

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    "I'm not a gynecologist... but I'll take a look."


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    Pokemon Booty! BluesClues's Avatar
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    Just wow! That's some deep shit dude. Like it took me a minute. I had to get deep into thought and see how I could relate this to my life at the moment in order to understand. Way deeper than that shit they have you read in school
    THAT'S MY JAM!
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    in the kitchen amberghini's Avatar
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    I really like the imagery, it helps the reader visualize the poem. Great play on words too. You've found your calling.

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    Thanx every1 for the support. I am gonna write a movie script next to expand on my skillset.

    1st scene:

    Blues Clues naked

    * enter J'son, naked *

    * kissing, rubbing, moaning *

    fade to black

    2nd Scene:

    Blues smoking a cigarette w/ fucked up hair and a smile.

    ** roll credits **
    "I'm not a gynecologist... but I'll take a look."


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