Long but worth the read.

So this guy is running late to work. He is hauling ass trying to get there on time. He is coming over a bridge and low and behold, there is a cop standing at the end with a radar gun. The cop flags the guy down and he pulls over. This is how the conversation went:

cop: "why were you going so fast"?

guy: "Im running late to work"

cop: "you must have a pretty important job to be going so fast. What do you do?"

guy: "Im an asshole stretcher"

cop: "asshole stretcher? What exactly does one in that position do"?

guy: "well, first I take a normal sized asshole an stick my finger in. I work it in and out untill I can fit another finger in from my other hand. Then I keep working it untill I can fit 2 fingers from each hand in and from there I start pulling it apart. I stretch it and stretch it untill its about 6ft in diameter".

cop: "thats pretty messed up. So, what exactlly do you do with a 6ft asshole"?

guy: "Put it at the end of a bridge and give it a radar gun...."