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Thread: why I fired my secretary

  1. #1
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    Default why I fired my secretary

    Last Week was My Birthday And I Didn't Feel Very Well Waking Up That Morning. I Went Downstairs For Breakfast Hoping My Wife Would Be Pleasant And Say, "Happy Birthday!", And Possibly Have A Present For
    Me.
    As It Turned Out, She Barely Said Good Morning, Let Alone "Happy Birthday." I Thought... Well, That's Marriage For You, But The Kids Will Remember. My Kids Came to Breakfast And Didn't Say A Word. So When I Left For The Office, I Was Feeling Pretty Low And Somewhat Despondent. As I Walked Into My Office, My Secretary Jane Said, "Good Morning,
    Boss,
    Happy Birthday!" It Felt A Little Better That At Least Someone Had Remembered. I Worked Until one O'clock and Then Jane Knocked On My Door And Said, "You Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day Outside, And It's Your Birthday, Let's Go Out To Lunch, Just You And Me."

    I Said, "Thanks Jane, That's The Greatest Thing I've Heard All Day. Let's Go!" We Went To Lunch. But We Didn't Go Where We Normally Would Go. We Dined Instead At A Little Place With A Private Table. We Had Two Martinis
    Each
    And I Enjoyed The Meal Tremendously.
    On The Way Back To The Office, Jane Said, "You Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day.. We Don't Need To Go Back To The Office, Do We?" I Responded, "I Guess Not. What Do You Have In Mind?" She Said, "Let's Go To My Apartment" After Arriving At Her Apartment Jane Turned To Me And said, "You Don't Mind, I'm Going To Step Into The Bedroom For A Moment. I'll Be Right Back." "Ok." I Nervously Replied. She Went Into The Bedroom And, After A Couple Of Minutes,She Came Out Carrying A Huge Birthday Cake... Followed By My Wife, Kids, And Dozens Of My Friends And All Singing "Happy Birthday". And I Just Sat There..

    On The Couch...
    Naked.
    nemesis950psi 1:47 pm : but id hit a tree with a hole if i was single

  2. #2
    Domestic Power R.Kelly's Avatar
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    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH +1

  3. #3
    Senior Member NewGen33's Avatar
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    SERIOUSLY!!!!!

  4. #4
    rubbin' daily HeLLo iM iZzY's Avatar
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    HAHAHAHAAHA

    +1

  5. #5
    ......................... con's Avatar
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    +1 dude, that's hilarious..........

  6. #6
    IA's Blonde Guy Jecht's Avatar
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    LOL

  7. #7
    GAOTU! J-Body GZ24's Avatar
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    That was funny as hell! Like I told others..I would rep but can't, so I just add you to my soon to rep list
    <~~~"I just saw Cheetah Girls live!....Though Raven wasn't there....Fuck her fat ass!"

  8. #8
    Rutspeed/b00b CreW BTLFED's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by buffdaddy18
    Last Week was My Birthday And I Didn't Feel Very Well Waking Up That Morning. I Went Downstairs For Breakfast Hoping My Wife Would Be Pleasant And Say, "Happy Birthday!", And Possibly Have A Present For
    Me.
    As It Turned Out, She Barely Said Good Morning, Let Alone "Happy Birthday." I Thought... Well, That's Marriage For You, But The Kids Will Remember. My Kids Came to Breakfast And Didn't Say A Word. So When I Left For The Office, I Was Feeling Pretty Low And Somewhat Despondent. As I Walked Into My Office, My Secretary Jane Said, "Good Morning,
    Boss,
    Happy Birthday!" It Felt A Little Better That At Least Someone Had Remembered. I Worked Until one O'clock and Then Jane Knocked On My Door And Said, "You Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day Outside, And It's Your Birthday, Let's Go Out To Lunch, Just You And Me."

    I Said, "Thanks Jane, That's The Greatest Thing I've Heard All Day. Let's Go!" We Went To Lunch. But We Didn't Go Where We Normally Would Go. We Dined Instead At A Little Place With A Private Table. We Had Two Martinis
    Each
    And I Enjoyed The Meal Tremendously.
    On The Way Back To The Office, Jane Said, "You Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day.. We Don't Need To Go Back To The Office, Do We?" I Responded, "I Guess Not. What Do You Have In Mind?" She Said, "Let's Go To My Apartment" After Arriving At Her Apartment Jane Turned To Me And said, "You Don't Mind, I'm Going To Step Into The Bedroom For A Moment. I'll Be Right Back." "Ok." I Nervously Replied. She Went Into The Bedroom And, After A Couple Of Minutes,She Came Out Carrying A Huge Birthday Cake... Followed By My Wife, Kids, And Dozens Of My Friends And All Singing "Happy Birthday". And I Just Sat There..

    On The Couch...
    Naked.
    Bahahha! +1
    --RIP Leisa. Forever In Our Hearts--

    --Val for President 1979-2007--
    --RIP Val, You will be missed--

    Quote Originally Posted by HalfBaked
    Anytime I'm driving south of I-20 in the perimeter, I play spot the white driver.

    Generally I don't count past 10.

  9. #9
    The House Of Honda The Green Monster's Avatar
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    rotflmao
    Add My IG: @The_House_Of_Honda / @Paddleshift.Photo [/b]

  10. #10
    Stops the Resistance 81911SC's Avatar
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    unreal best thing ive heard n awhile

  11. #11
    Official Gator Hater Lucky DAWG's Avatar
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    lmao

    you can't be serious, i'm waiting on a response
    +1 rep for you
    2005 Ford F-150 FX4 Supercrew


  12. #12
    a tru OG,.. ask somebody
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    thats old, but very funny... and if im not mistaken a repost from the OLD forum.. so.. i cant call repost.. its still funny every time i read it though
    Jimmy Blair II
    www.Pinnacleracing.com
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  13. #13
    Duck of Death ShooterMcGavin's Avatar
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    heard something very similar to this before, funny indeed

  14. #14
    Back in GA Bajjani's Avatar
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    awesome joke but why the fuck is every word cap'd?

    Of course I own this.
    IT PUTS THE OREOS ON THE RIM

  15. #15

    Default

    bc it's a repost


  16. #16
    VDUB BiH1320's Avatar
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    LMFAOO hahahahahhaha

    what'd ur wife say after seeing u naked?? lmfao

  17. #17

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    It's a joke...


  18. #18
    VDUB BiH1320's Avatar
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    I see.. Lol
    but a funny joke.

  19. #19

    Default

    I was intrigued the first time i read it too.


  20. #20
    HIV+ HalfBaked's Avatar
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    I've heard this hundreds of times.

    Still makes me chuckle tho.


  21. #21
    Wanna-be-OG
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    +1

  22. #22
    Big Boss kennyboi's Avatar
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    lol +1

  23. #23
    Delightfully Creepy Ran's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by buffdaddy18
    After A Couple Of Minutes,She Came Out Carrying A Huge Birthday Cake... Followed By My Wife, Kids, And Dozens Of My Friends And All Singing "Happy Birthday". And I Just Sat There..

    On The Couch...
    Naked.
    You forgot the ending


  24. #24
    b00sT jUnKy khan351's Avatar
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    LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! +1


  25. #25
    I miss Atlanta. Sol-Badguy's Avatar
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    Nice. +1.

  26. #26
    ACC CHAMPS bigdare23's Avatar
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    lol +1

  27. #27
    2 Legit 2 Quit Kelly's Avatar
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    Made me LIRL

    Ha ha +1 if I can

  28. #28
    The Thread Reaper.. The Ninja's Avatar
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    nice, +1 for you.

  29. #29
    I've got a job... Killer's Avatar
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    funny stuff right there.

  30. #30
    Certified Gearhead JstAneon's Avatar
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    that's pretty good.

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