2007 Soon-To-Be-Divorced Wife's Guide

• Dinner is whatever he can microwave. Besides, Oprah is on.

• Act a little more b*tchy than usual. Giving off a sense that your on PMS is a good way to get on his nerves and have him leave you alone.

• If there is a way to walk around your pile of shoes and clothes, then that's good enough. If you can find a path, so can he.

• Be sure to badger him as to why he doesn't listen to you when you're nagging him after he gets home from a hard day at work. He's already been in Hell for the past 9 hours, what's another 30 minutes?

• If he makes a specific request, tell him to do it himself. After all, whens the last time he took you shopping?

• Plan your headache in advance. This way you can avoid dealing with his "urges" later.

• Be sure to drain him for every dollar in his pocket. You probably won't be married for much longer anyway.

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What happened to the good days?