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Thread: Adult jokes, repost these BeRt!

  1. #1
    EARNIN & BURNIN thinkfast®'s Avatar
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    Default Adult jokes, repost these BeRt!

    A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.

    They are both quite startled.

    The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

    She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."

    --------------------------

    One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing
    his wife's arm.

    The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

    The husband, rejected, turns over.

    A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.

    "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

    ------------------

    Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

    One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

    "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.

    "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"

    "Oh, Bill, you didn't!" she exclaimed.

    "Yes, I did." he replied.

    "My God, Bill, what happened?"

    "I got fired."

    "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

    "Oh...she got fired too."

  2. #2
    EARNIN & BURNIN thinkfast®'s Avatar
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    Am I funny or what guys


  3. #3
    I can has swagger? TeeJay's Avatar
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    HTATS PURDY GREAT
    Quote Originally Posted by Rican219
    I put puto in my iphone and it changed it to Brett....wtf?!

  4. #4
    Senior Member Krazykouki's Avatar
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    PICKLE SLICER...HAHA
    No Homo.


  5. #5
    EARNIN & BURNIN thinkfast®'s Avatar
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    Last one guys last one

    A couple had been married for 50 years.

    They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

    "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."

    "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."

    Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

    "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

    "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.

    "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."

  6. #6
    I can has swagger? TeeJay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thinkfast®
    Last one guys last one

    A couple had been married for 50 years.

    They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

    "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."

    "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."

    Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

    "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

    "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.

    "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
    grose
    Quote Originally Posted by Rican219
    I put puto in my iphone and it changed it to Brett....wtf?!

  7. #7
    The Thread Reaper.. The Ninja's Avatar
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    lol...

  8. #8
    EARNIN & BURNIN thinkfast®'s Avatar
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    wonder if he ate the oatmeal after

    yuk

  9. #9
    IA LEGEND #truth Brett's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thinkfast®
    Am I funny or what guys

    ~taps fingers~
    Brett (One of the true OG's, No really... ask anyone)
    '15 Chevy SS
    '16 K7 SXL SWP

    www.facebook.com/brett.lowenthal1

    R.I.P Leisa, You are never forgotten - 10/7/08

  10. #10
    802.11 GGGG-Unit Fro Rly! Mr_Mischif's Avatar
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    LOL@Pickle slicer!
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucky SC
    so let me get this straight.
    u hate black people...
    so you went to africa?
    Quote Originally Posted by Psycho
    As a white male, I am genetically afraid of black people
    "DON'T FLOOD THE CAR PICS SECTION WITH YOUR BULLSHIT
    FORMULA D PICS" SQUAD MEMBER


  11. #11
    Wanna-be-OG
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    The granny one had me laughing the hardest..pickle slicer right behind....

  12. #12
    Domestic Power R.Kelly's Avatar
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    id eat that oatmeal and take a big ole swig of that coffee too

  13. #13
    ACC CHAMPS bigdare23's Avatar
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    LOL

  14. #14
    EARNIN & BURNIN thinkfast®'s Avatar
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    this just in you guys are sick

  15. #15
    S281 soul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thinkfast®
    this just in you guys are sick
    this already in, thinkfast is weak sauce
    Its just a bodykit

  16. #16
    EARNIN & BURNIN thinkfast®'s Avatar
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    yo niglet why you hatin son

    them jokes is the goods

  17. #17
    S281 soul's Avatar
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    i mean my bad not enough hatin tonight, since u an og hater ill stop fo you son
    Its just a bodykit

  18. #18
    The House Of Honda The Green Monster's Avatar
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    lirl @ granny
    Add My IG: @The_House_Of_Honda / @Paddleshift.Photo [/b]

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