{X}Echo419
12-08-2006, 10:05 AM
That every government program is essential and under-funded;
That the failure of any government program is proof it needs more funding;
That Bill Gates symbolizes what is wrong with America;
That only a risky Republican scheme would propose changes for high schools that graduate students who can't read their diplomas;
That the Ten Commandments are judgmental and, consequently, dangerous for our children to learn in school;
That big companies, which succeed in a free market by routinely offering the best product or service at the lowest price, shouldn't be trusted, and that big government, which can confiscate and redistribute its citizen's wealth and imprison them if they don't cooperate, should;
That I prove my compassion and generosity when I support tax increases on anyone who is richer than I;
That Bill Clinton was correct when he vetoed welfare reform, correct when he vetoed it again and correct when he proudly signed it into law;
That we support more gun laws and fewer convictions;
That the failure of 22,000 gun laws to prevent gun violence is proof that more gun laws are needed;
That the problem of gun violence will be solved as soon as law-abiding citizens are forced to disarm;
That, for every Clinton scandal, Republicans were guilty of "rushing to judgment" prior to proving wrongdoing and guilty of " dredging up old news " after proof was established;
That the Communist Chinese expected nothing in return for their contributions to the 1996 Clinton-Gore campaign;
That Republicans are evil, except Republican union members whose wages are confiscated for the purpose of funding Democratic campaigns;
That Bob Jones is a religious bigot with dangerous ideas when his faith dictates white Christians should marry only white Christians, but that Joe Lieberman is a good man with deeply held religious principles when his faith dictates orthodox Jews should marry only orthodox Jews;
That a thousand FBI files on prominent Republicans arrived at the White House as a result of an innocent bureaucratic SNAFU under the watch of a former bar bouncer who became head of White House security, and no one knows who hired him;
That Joe Camel brainwashed kids into smoking cigarettes, but that Hollywood's sex and violence do not influence them;
That media reports on the homeless are newsworthy unless a Democrat is in the White House;
That the timing of the American bombing of a Sudanese pharmaceutical plant on the day of Monica Lewinsky's testimony was purely coincidental;
That everyone deserves equal rights, except white males;
That we should march in favor of partial birth abortions and against the execution of child murderers;
That we support the Constitution's unwritten right to privacy but not its written right to bear arms;
That taxpayer dollars should never fund religious art except for art that denigrates Christianity;
That Al Gore invented the Internet and Hillary Clinton is a brilliant cattle futures speculator;
That minorities deserve high positions in government except when they are conservative;
That Bill Clinton has never forced himself upon a woman unless there is DNA evidence to prove it;
That we don't need to worry about records being set for the trade deficit, personal bankruptcies, and minorities in prison until a Republican is in the White House;
That thou shalt not judge, unless it is for the purpose of exposing conservative white males as angry, gun-toting rednecks and conservative blacks as back-stabbing charlatans;
That the administration created our nation's economic prosperity even if we can't name the Clinton-Gore proposals that caused it;
That Al Gore discovered Love Canal and was the hero of " Love Story ";
That we have no reason to suspect espionage occurred when hard drives containing our most valuable nuclear secrets were missing from the Los Alamos laboratory;
That, in the spirit of inclusion, our armed forces should welcome gay soldiers into their shower stalls;
That we should be outraged by the partial birth abortion of any animal except a human;
That Clarence Thomas is unfit for office but Bill Clinton is not;
That if our children aren't taught sex in school, they'll never find out about it;
That anyone who supports school vouchers, the strategic defense initiative, parental notification for abortion and privatization of social security is a right-wing kook, unless his name is Joe Lieberman;
That George W. Bush's degrees from Harvard and Yale do not change the fact that he is an idiot, but Al Gore's failing out of Vanderbilt is no reflection on his mentality;
That the failure of any government program is proof it needs more funding;
That Bill Gates symbolizes what is wrong with America;
That only a risky Republican scheme would propose changes for high schools that graduate students who can't read their diplomas;
That the Ten Commandments are judgmental and, consequently, dangerous for our children to learn in school;
That big companies, which succeed in a free market by routinely offering the best product or service at the lowest price, shouldn't be trusted, and that big government, which can confiscate and redistribute its citizen's wealth and imprison them if they don't cooperate, should;
That I prove my compassion and generosity when I support tax increases on anyone who is richer than I;
That Bill Clinton was correct when he vetoed welfare reform, correct when he vetoed it again and correct when he proudly signed it into law;
That we support more gun laws and fewer convictions;
That the failure of 22,000 gun laws to prevent gun violence is proof that more gun laws are needed;
That the problem of gun violence will be solved as soon as law-abiding citizens are forced to disarm;
That, for every Clinton scandal, Republicans were guilty of "rushing to judgment" prior to proving wrongdoing and guilty of " dredging up old news " after proof was established;
That the Communist Chinese expected nothing in return for their contributions to the 1996 Clinton-Gore campaign;
That Republicans are evil, except Republican union members whose wages are confiscated for the purpose of funding Democratic campaigns;
That Bob Jones is a religious bigot with dangerous ideas when his faith dictates white Christians should marry only white Christians, but that Joe Lieberman is a good man with deeply held religious principles when his faith dictates orthodox Jews should marry only orthodox Jews;
That a thousand FBI files on prominent Republicans arrived at the White House as a result of an innocent bureaucratic SNAFU under the watch of a former bar bouncer who became head of White House security, and no one knows who hired him;
That Joe Camel brainwashed kids into smoking cigarettes, but that Hollywood's sex and violence do not influence them;
That media reports on the homeless are newsworthy unless a Democrat is in the White House;
That the timing of the American bombing of a Sudanese pharmaceutical plant on the day of Monica Lewinsky's testimony was purely coincidental;
That everyone deserves equal rights, except white males;
That we should march in favor of partial birth abortions and against the execution of child murderers;
That we support the Constitution's unwritten right to privacy but not its written right to bear arms;
That taxpayer dollars should never fund religious art except for art that denigrates Christianity;
That Al Gore invented the Internet and Hillary Clinton is a brilliant cattle futures speculator;
That minorities deserve high positions in government except when they are conservative;
That Bill Clinton has never forced himself upon a woman unless there is DNA evidence to prove it;
That we don't need to worry about records being set for the trade deficit, personal bankruptcies, and minorities in prison until a Republican is in the White House;
That thou shalt not judge, unless it is for the purpose of exposing conservative white males as angry, gun-toting rednecks and conservative blacks as back-stabbing charlatans;
That the administration created our nation's economic prosperity even if we can't name the Clinton-Gore proposals that caused it;
That Al Gore discovered Love Canal and was the hero of " Love Story ";
That we have no reason to suspect espionage occurred when hard drives containing our most valuable nuclear secrets were missing from the Los Alamos laboratory;
That, in the spirit of inclusion, our armed forces should welcome gay soldiers into their shower stalls;
That we should be outraged by the partial birth abortion of any animal except a human;
That Clarence Thomas is unfit for office but Bill Clinton is not;
That if our children aren't taught sex in school, they'll never find out about it;
That anyone who supports school vouchers, the strategic defense initiative, parental notification for abortion and privatization of social security is a right-wing kook, unless his name is Joe Lieberman;
That George W. Bush's degrees from Harvard and Yale do not change the fact that he is an idiot, but Al Gore's failing out of Vanderbilt is no reflection on his mentality;