buffdaddy18
11-22-2006, 02:02 PM
What Guys Are Really Thinking But Won’t Tell Women
1. I cannot stress this enough. PLEASE NO TEETH! Never a good idea.
2. Hand jobs are also a bad idea unless somebody has thoroughly instructed you on the proper technique. Most girls just end up doing it wrong, painfully wrong. I could do better on my own. Show me why you are here.
Now that that is out of the way you may continue.
3. Bitchiness and Attitude only get you so far. We tend to lose interest and seek ass elsewhere.
4. The same goes for playing games. Most of the time we won’t tell you this because we are afraid we have already invested too much time in you.
5. Like you, we also have two or three other prospects in mind at all times. (Unless in a serious relationship, then it’s only one or two.)
6. The kiss and tell bullshit we give you is well… BULLSHIT. All of our friends will know sooner or later, but so will yours. Don’t act like you don’t do it too.
7. We all have a “get laid” mix on our iTunes. If we don’t, you should just leave.
8. Flirty Skirts, Summer Dresses, Tank Tops, Polo’s, tight fittin’ jeans; all I can say is MORE, MORE MORE. Also, trooper shades are hot. (ex. Flirty skirt, Polo shirt, and trooper shades is the hottest look hands down)
9. Do not get mad when a guy looks at your chest while talking to you. You bought the low cut shirt and the tight pants so we would look. No fair getting mad when nature takes its course.
10. We will tell you we like whatever you are wearing, most of the time we just don’t care, (unless… see rule above.)
11. If you have back dimples show them off please. They are very sexy, you will get more guys (this rule does not apply to fat chicks).
12. We usually don’t get hints, so just come out and tell us what you want.
13. BE LOUD IN BED. No, breathing harder than normal does not count!
14. It’s hot when you’re in control, we like that to happen sometimes…SOMETIMES.
15. Make some God Damn decisions once in a while.
16. Don’t try and talk to us when we have been drinking, especially if it is serious.
17. Short hair is the in thing, we all like it, I prefer short blonde hair, not really short like a guys but shoulder length doesn’t cut it.
18. Don’t make plans before 10 or 11. It is just too early.
19. When we choose to smoke, drink, chew, fart, scratch, spit, or fight there is nothing you can do but love us for our imperfections.
20. Guys and Girls can’t be friends, there’s always something else there, unless you are ugly.
21. If you are trying to pick up guys at bars, don’t bring along other guys. If we see you with one we will most likely give up, assuming this is your boyfriend or boy-toy. Groups of two or four girls usually work well. One of you will have to take the grenade, but most likely he’s thinking that about you too (if this applies to you, just do it).
22. You are not fat, we probably wouldn’t be dating you if you were. Hey I’m just being honest here. So don’t say things like… “I’m too fat, I can’t eat that” Or I’m on a diet”… We will encourage you to come work out if you are. Don’t worry everyone gains the freshman 15 and holds on to it.
23. If you run around campus and constantly get honked at, it means nothing. We do that to every female.
24. We know dogs and puppies are cute, therefore we become cuter. We use this to our advantage. As well as other things. (Any questions listen to Nelly’s “Pimp Juice”.
25. We like video games, GET OVER IT. We will always have NCAA and Halo.
26. We are easy to please, just show up or call back.
27. "Creepy", "Sketchy", and "Stalker" (and any derivation there of) are to be stricken from your vocabulary.
28. If we are willing to take you out on a nice date, spend money on you, dedicate an entire evening to making you happy, the least you can do is not complain when we just want to watch a three hour football game a drink a few beers with our friends on a Saturday afternoon.
29. If you are really with a guy, occasionally, it is your job to get naked and say, "Take me!"
30. We will never stop looking at other women.
1. I cannot stress this enough. PLEASE NO TEETH! Never a good idea.
2. Hand jobs are also a bad idea unless somebody has thoroughly instructed you on the proper technique. Most girls just end up doing it wrong, painfully wrong. I could do better on my own. Show me why you are here.
Now that that is out of the way you may continue.
3. Bitchiness and Attitude only get you so far. We tend to lose interest and seek ass elsewhere.
4. The same goes for playing games. Most of the time we won’t tell you this because we are afraid we have already invested too much time in you.
5. Like you, we also have two or three other prospects in mind at all times. (Unless in a serious relationship, then it’s only one or two.)
6. The kiss and tell bullshit we give you is well… BULLSHIT. All of our friends will know sooner or later, but so will yours. Don’t act like you don’t do it too.
7. We all have a “get laid” mix on our iTunes. If we don’t, you should just leave.
8. Flirty Skirts, Summer Dresses, Tank Tops, Polo’s, tight fittin’ jeans; all I can say is MORE, MORE MORE. Also, trooper shades are hot. (ex. Flirty skirt, Polo shirt, and trooper shades is the hottest look hands down)
9. Do not get mad when a guy looks at your chest while talking to you. You bought the low cut shirt and the tight pants so we would look. No fair getting mad when nature takes its course.
10. We will tell you we like whatever you are wearing, most of the time we just don’t care, (unless… see rule above.)
11. If you have back dimples show them off please. They are very sexy, you will get more guys (this rule does not apply to fat chicks).
12. We usually don’t get hints, so just come out and tell us what you want.
13. BE LOUD IN BED. No, breathing harder than normal does not count!
14. It’s hot when you’re in control, we like that to happen sometimes…SOMETIMES.
15. Make some God Damn decisions once in a while.
16. Don’t try and talk to us when we have been drinking, especially if it is serious.
17. Short hair is the in thing, we all like it, I prefer short blonde hair, not really short like a guys but shoulder length doesn’t cut it.
18. Don’t make plans before 10 or 11. It is just too early.
19. When we choose to smoke, drink, chew, fart, scratch, spit, or fight there is nothing you can do but love us for our imperfections.
20. Guys and Girls can’t be friends, there’s always something else there, unless you are ugly.
21. If you are trying to pick up guys at bars, don’t bring along other guys. If we see you with one we will most likely give up, assuming this is your boyfriend or boy-toy. Groups of two or four girls usually work well. One of you will have to take the grenade, but most likely he’s thinking that about you too (if this applies to you, just do it).
22. You are not fat, we probably wouldn’t be dating you if you were. Hey I’m just being honest here. So don’t say things like… “I’m too fat, I can’t eat that” Or I’m on a diet”… We will encourage you to come work out if you are. Don’t worry everyone gains the freshman 15 and holds on to it.
23. If you run around campus and constantly get honked at, it means nothing. We do that to every female.
24. We know dogs and puppies are cute, therefore we become cuter. We use this to our advantage. As well as other things. (Any questions listen to Nelly’s “Pimp Juice”.
25. We like video games, GET OVER IT. We will always have NCAA and Halo.
26. We are easy to please, just show up or call back.
27. "Creepy", "Sketchy", and "Stalker" (and any derivation there of) are to be stricken from your vocabulary.
28. If we are willing to take you out on a nice date, spend money on you, dedicate an entire evening to making you happy, the least you can do is not complain when we just want to watch a three hour football game a drink a few beers with our friends on a Saturday afternoon.
29. If you are really with a guy, occasionally, it is your job to get naked and say, "Take me!"
30. We will never stop looking at other women.