Keebs ð¿ð
10-13-2006, 12:18 PM
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and
you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Jack.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking."
Then little Jack says, "I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the! Cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Jack replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."
LITTLE Jack ON MATH (Part 2)
Little Jack returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father?
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'" I said "6", replies Jack.
"But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking Difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"
LITTLE Jack ON ENGLISH
Little Jack goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"
Jack says "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Jack, that's a mouthful."
Little Jack says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
LITTLE Jack ON GRAMMAR
Little Jack was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to
go to the bathroom.
He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"
The teacher replied, 'Now, Jack, that is NOT the proper word to use in
this situation.
The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'ur-I-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
allow you to go."
Little Jack, thinks for a bit, and then says, ! "You're an eight, but if
You had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
LITTLE Jack ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought
my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on
little Jack.
"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"
LITTLE Jack ON GETTING OLDER
Little Jack was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you
know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot
your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Jack replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little Jack answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business.
you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Jack.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking."
Then little Jack says, "I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the! Cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Jack replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."
LITTLE Jack ON MATH (Part 2)
Little Jack returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father?
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'" I said "6", replies Jack.
"But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking Difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"
LITTLE Jack ON ENGLISH
Little Jack goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"
Jack says "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Jack, that's a mouthful."
Little Jack says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
LITTLE Jack ON GRAMMAR
Little Jack was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to
go to the bathroom.
He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"
The teacher replied, 'Now, Jack, that is NOT the proper word to use in
this situation.
The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'ur-I-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
allow you to go."
Little Jack, thinks for a bit, and then says, ! "You're an eight, but if
You had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
LITTLE Jack ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought
my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on
little Jack.
"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"
LITTLE Jack ON GETTING OLDER
Little Jack was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you
know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot
your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Jack replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little Jack answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business.