Brett this is for you!!!

[babygurl]

The Nursing Home

At the Nursing Home a man took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. He sat his father down on a sofa in the main aisle way and went to talk with the administrators.

The old man started to tilt slowly toward the left. A Doctor came by and said, "Let me help you." The Doctor piled several pillows on the left side of the old man so he would stay upright.

The older man started to tilt slowly to the right. An orderly noticed and put several more pillows on his right side to keep him upright.

The old man started to lean forward when a nurse came by and piled several pillows in front of him. About this time, the son returned.

"Well, Dad, isn't this a nice place."

The old man replied, "I guess it's ok, but they won't let me fart."

__________________________________________________ _______________

You see this young lad walks out of a store and sees an elderly man sitting on a bench crying. This young lad walks over to the man to check to see if he is O.k.!
Young Lad: Sir, are you Okay?

Old Man: Yes, it's my birthday today (and he is still crying)

Young Lad: Wow, it's a special day for you.

Old Man.: Yes it is. I'm 82 today (and still crying.)

Young Lad: Even better, you look great for your age.

Old Man: Thank you, and I just got married (and he is still crying.)

Young Lad: Married!! Gee, that's great! 82 and married, wow! You've got a whole new life ahead of you.

Old Man: I married a 25 year old.

Young Lad: Holly Molly!! Even better.

Old Man: We have sex every day! (he's till crying)

Young Lad: I don't even have sex everyday, you lucky person you.

Old Man: Yes, I am, and I've forgotten where I lived.
__________________________________________________ _______________

Three elderly men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions. The seventy-year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to tinkle."
The eighty-year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a BM."

The ninety-year old says, "At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I flop like a cow."

"So what's your problem?" ask the others.

"I don't wake up until nine."
__________________________________________________ _______________

A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with no pants on?" he asked again.
The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!!"

[babygurl]

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a whore house. When they arrived at the whorehouse, the Madame took one look at them and decided she wasn't going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used "blowup" dolls instead. She put the dolls in each man's room and left them to their business.

After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to talking. The first man said, "I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or groaned...how was it for you?"

The second man replied, "I think mine was a witch."

The first man asked, "How's that?

"Well," said the second man, "when I nibbled on her breast ... she farted and flew out the window!"

[babygurl]

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe pits, some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for awhile, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to Bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned. "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond. " Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old men can still think fast.

[Sammich]

old man jokes..brett and QD might understand





















LIRL

[Crazy Asian]

HAHAHHAHA i like the last one.

[babygurl]

I could see Brett doing this:

Do NOT lose your grand kids in the mall!


Little Billy got lost while shopping with him at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa!" The cop asked, "What's he like?" Little Billy hesitated for a moment and then replied, "Beer and women with big tits".

[dodgekota]

:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:


+1 for you.

[Bajjani]

lol

those are pretty funny

[babygurl]

Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ''How do you really feel? I mean, you're 72 years old, how do you honestly feel?''



''Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, and I just wet myself

[The Golden Child]

REPOST !!!

































































































BYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!