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View Full Version : Need some suggestions, serious issue, long story



T-Mo Goodie
03-08-2005, 06:39 PM
Ok I have a neice that is 14 years old (my brothers daughter). She has been living with us since she was born. (She stayed with her mom her 4th grade year) This past Nov. she was being the typical teenager (rude, lazy, talking back, smartmouthing off, grades dropping, etc) She didn't want to hear anything that we had to say. SHE felt it was better if she goes to stay with her mom. After a week or two of telling her that it was a bad idea, we decided to let her SEE that it was a bad idea, and my mom let her go.

Let me tell you a little bit about my niece mom:
- she has 4 kids, all by different men
- kids are 16 (who is now acting out, and being a slut), 14 (my niece), 5, and 2 years old
- 2 of the babydaddy's were killed, both drug related shoot outs/robberies
- She lives in Englewood Apt (the projects) near the state penn.
- she leaves the kids alone for a couple days at a time
- she hasn't worked for at least 7-8 years (even then it was for maybe 3 mo.)
- she is on drugs and live off of hustling
- she is 32 yrs old
- she had her mother (who's jobless also) and the husband living with her

These kids have seen alot, from drug busts at their house, to killing and shootings where they have lived in the past. Matter of fact, about 5 mo ago, my niece uncle (her mothers brother) was released from PRISON (where he spends 5 yrs at a time for murder) He was wanted on the news, for killing a little 2-3 yr old kid, at an apt they were playing cards at and an arguement brewed and he shot at the guy and the bullets hit the kid.

Well around Dec. an issue came about with the oldest kid. Long story short about her, she was punched in the face, by her granddad (by marriage). Her face swoll up and I went over and went the fuck off. I told my niece to get her things and she was moving back home because if he laid his hands on my niece, he would have been a dead man. Mind you all, her MOTHER was no where to be found when this went on. Later on that day, her mother wants to try to snap at me for taking my niece without her permission and had the police looking for me. After about a week, I took my niece back home, so that she could go to school since everything had calmed down.

Just recently, my neice wants to come back to our house every weekend, but this weekend she didn't want to go back home. She was crying and telling us all of the stuff that has been going on over there. Mind you these people, although they are my niece's FAMILY, has never really liked my niece because she had better things than them and she didn't HAVE to live like them. I would rather her live back here with us and she WILL BE COMING BACK. My niece said that social workers are starting to call because shes sleeping in class and the 16 yr old doesn't even go half the time. She is 16 and in the 8th grade. She was kept back once, 2nd time because their mother made her stay out of school and keep the babies, and she is going to have to repeat it again. Crazy huh?

I need your opinions as to what I should do. My niece is scared to go to her counslers and tell them whats going on, for fear that DFAC will come in and take all the kids and they won't get to see each other. (thats the real reason my niece usually wants to go up there, she misses her sisters) So what would you do??

TKellarB
03-08-2005, 06:44 PM
WOW!!! I think something is def. going to explode here and you cannot escape any type of issues with this type of situation. IMO, you should do what is best for your niece to keep her safe, and in school. Calling DFAC isn't the best solution as look at how wonderfully they handle so many other GA cases. Why isn't she living with you full time now? or is she? (sorry-kindof confused)

Edit: just re-read it. Can your brother file for f/t custody of her? I am sure any social worker in their right mind would review the situation and make that recommendation.

T-Mo Goodie
03-08-2005, 06:48 PM
Long story short (because theres ALOT of issues) her older sister was telling her that she was going to parties, she had so many friends, you know, making my niece think that life was GOOD up there, when in reality, she wanted my nice to be there suffering with her. My neice being gullable (sp?) fell for it and wanted to go stay. She has been over there for about 2.5 months now.

I am trying to see what I should do about getting her back here. I am ready tonight to go up there and get her.

****My mother (her grandma) has legal guardianship of her at the moment, for my brother is a DUMBASS who is just now starting to get his life together.****

Tracer
03-08-2005, 06:54 PM
Well, you have to think for a second....what's a better environment for them to live in? If this was up to me I would get those kids out of that negative environment. Usually most of the time DFAC will not split up the kids. They try to keep them together, so it doesn't scare them in any way. But DFAC would take care of them alot better than what they are living in now. Its so sad that kids today are treated this way. My heart just breaks to read your story. I wish I could give you more advice but, I've never been through anything like this.......Good Luck

T-Mo Goodie
03-08-2005, 06:58 PM
We would love to take them all in, but theres just not enough room, nor money to do so. So my niece will be the only one coming here. I feel bad for the other kids, but I don't know what to do.

chrisdavis
03-08-2005, 07:14 PM
It is almost unavoidable by now that DFACS is going to be involved. You mom since she has legal guardianship of your niece should go to them and make sure that the niece comes home with her. Your niece will probably resent it and be upset that the family will be split up, but in the long run it will be for the best.

T-Mo Goodie
03-08-2005, 07:24 PM
thanks for your opinions, please keep them coming.

Bring It!!
03-09-2005, 09:13 AM
you need a Family Law attorney there are plenty here in the Atlanta metro area, Many of whom will give you a free consultation. The more informed you are the better you can go about this a better way I know the area you speak of well I work and lived there when I first moved back for Miami its a VERY rough neighborhood and some dies daily there. My advice as I said before is to talk to as many attorney's that you can gather as much info as you can so that you can make the best decsion that you can for you neice's sake. May God bless you for this.

Leisa
03-09-2005, 09:56 AM
well... if all of them come live with you and you file the necessary paperwork to retain gaurdianship, the state will help you I am sure.. that is just something to look in to.

4dmin
03-09-2005, 10:17 AM
DFAC is the only answer... you could get your neice since she lived w/ you for a while... i would go ahead and call yourself b/c all the time you waste you never know if its that bad she could wind up raped/dead/etc...

speedracer41
03-09-2005, 10:23 AM
Wow! This is a tough situation you are in. My heart and prayers go out to you. I agree that bringing your neice back home is the best idea. anytime you can get her into a more positive environmet would be the best thing for her. I understand the concern for the other kids, but you can only do so much. You have to do what is right for you and your family. keep us posted, GOOD LUCK!

Kristi
03-09-2005, 10:32 AM
i would call DFAC. I say that because those other children are in danger and are being neglected. Your niece will most likely get to stay with you since that has happened in the past, but those children need to be taken away from that woman. Your niece will still get to see her brothers and sisters even if they are in foster care, so that is what i would do.

99SI
03-09-2005, 10:36 AM
That is a horrible situation. You have got to do the right thing for your niece and her siblings. As has been said, a family law attorney can point you in the right direction. Get her out of that situation as soon as possible and figure the rest out later. I have a boy living with me and my girlfriend whose mother abandoned him when he was 8 and his dad started doing drugs and dissapearing for months at a time when he was 13. The boy lived by himself and took care of himself. I met him when he was 16. He has lived with us for over a year now. He is a very inspiring story, he never missed a day of school throughout highschool, got the hope scholarship, and so far through a semester and a half of college has a 4.0 gpa. He lives with us at no cost to him as long as he is in school. Point being, even though it is a child in trouble and you do not think twice about helping them, the reward of knowing that you are making a difference in someone less fortunate's life is an amazing feeling.

Tracy
03-09-2005, 10:39 AM
Sounds to me like you need to go to court for custody of the niece. Once you do that, no one can "call the police" on you for comming to get her. About the other children, I don't know what to say about that. You have to always keep in mind what is best for the children. DFAC sounds bad, but it might be better for the children.

T-Mo Goodie
03-09-2005, 08:01 PM
Thanks for replying. I will keep everyone updated on the situation.

ruah_23
03-09-2005, 08:25 PM
You are the older ones and if you love your niece, you shld do what's best for her not what she want.Kids are still kids they don't think about the future ,and it's up to you to choose what kinda of future u want for that kid.

Gd luck and wish u and ur niece all the best.