St0lenR
08-04-2006, 04:26 PM
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary
for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public
holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace
that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me
to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P.Niss
The Response:
Dear Penis: After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your
request
for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management
team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen
visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be
pressured and stimulated inorder to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary
safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective
clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen
constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two
suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public
holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace
that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me
to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P.Niss
The Response:
Dear Penis: After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your
request
for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management
team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen
visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be
pressured and stimulated inorder to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary
safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective
clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen
constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two
suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina