WWJDrift
07-20-2006, 06:34 PM
:cheers:
At last a guy has taken the time to write
this all down. Now here are the rules from the
> male side. These are our rules!
> Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
> ON PURPOSE!
>
> 1. Men ARE not mind readers.
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
> We need it up, you need it down.
> You don't hear us complaining about you
> leaving it down.
>
> 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
> or the changing of the tides.
> Let it be.
>
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
> And no, we are never going to think of it
> that way.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want.
> Let us be clear on this one:
> Subtle hints do not work!
> Strong hints do not work!
> Obvious hints do not work!
> Just say it!
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable
> answers to almost every question.
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only If you
> want help solving it. That's what we do.
> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
> problem . See a doctor.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is
> inadmissible in an argument.
> In fact, all comments become null and void
> after 7 Days.
>
> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's
> Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap
> opera guys.
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
> Don't ask us.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two
> ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
> we meant the other one .
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something
> Or tell us how you want it done.
> Not both.
> If you already know best how to do it, just
> do it yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever
> you have to say during commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need
> directions and neither do we.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
> Windows default settings.
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color.
> Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what
> mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
> We do that.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say
> "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
> We know you are lying, but it is just not
> worth the hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
> to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
> anything you wear Is fine... Really.
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
> you are prepared to discuss such topics as
> baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>
> 1. Thank you for reading this.
> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight!
>
>
> But did you know men really don't mind that? It's
> like camping.
At last a guy has taken the time to write
this all down. Now here are the rules from the
> male side. These are our rules!
> Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
> ON PURPOSE!
>
> 1. Men ARE not mind readers.
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
> We need it up, you need it down.
> You don't hear us complaining about you
> leaving it down.
>
> 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
> or the changing of the tides.
> Let it be.
>
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
> And no, we are never going to think of it
> that way.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want.
> Let us be clear on this one:
> Subtle hints do not work!
> Strong hints do not work!
> Obvious hints do not work!
> Just say it!
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable
> answers to almost every question.
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only If you
> want help solving it. That's what we do.
> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
> problem . See a doctor.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is
> inadmissible in an argument.
> In fact, all comments become null and void
> after 7 Days.
>
> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's
> Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap
> opera guys.
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
> Don't ask us.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two
> ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
> we meant the other one .
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something
> Or tell us how you want it done.
> Not both.
> If you already know best how to do it, just
> do it yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever
> you have to say during commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need
> directions and neither do we.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
> Windows default settings.
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color.
> Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what
> mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
> We do that.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say
> "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
> We know you are lying, but it is just not
> worth the hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
> to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
> anything you wear Is fine... Really.
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
> you are prepared to discuss such topics as
> baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>
> 1. Thank you for reading this.
> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight!
>
>
> But did you know men really don't mind that? It's
> like camping.