Chuckster
06-21-2006, 09:21 PM
So there are 4 people standing by a bridge. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American. They all want to throw something off the bridge that they have a lot of in their country. The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi. "There is a lot of sushi in my country." Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom. "There is too much love in my country." Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco. "There are a lot of tacos in my country." Next is the American. He looks around. He picks up the Mexican guy and throws him off the bridge. "There are a lot of Mexicans in my country."
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How do you know when an Iranian has become a man?
When he takes the diaper off his ass and puts it on his head.
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Redneck took his daughter to the Gynocologist they were in the room waiting for the doctor, the doctor walked in and asked the father what are we here for today the father said to get my daughter on birth control, the doctor then asked the father so is your daughter sexually active, the father said no, she just lays there like her mother.
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I'm not racist i have colored T.V.!
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A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence. The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence." The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"
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JIHAD HUMOR - MUSLIM JOKES by stand-up comic Goffaq Yussef.
Good evening gentlemen, and get out, ladies.
On my flight to New York there must have been a Jew in the bathroom the entire time. There was a sign on the door that said "occupied."
What do you say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes? Nothing! You told her twice already!
How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb? None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!
Did you hear about the Broadway play, The Palestinians ? It bombed!
What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia? Lefty!
Did you hear about the Muslim strip club? It features full facial nudity!
Why do Palestinians find it convenient to live on the West Bank? Because just a stone's throw from Israel!
Why are Palestinian boys luckier than American boys? Because every Palestinian boy will get to join a rock group!
A small plane carrying Yassir Arafat and all his top lieutenants crashes and all aboard are killed. Who is saved? The Palestinian people!
A Palestinian suspect was being grilled by Israeli police. "Honest, I'm not a suicide bomber," he said. "I didn't say I wanted to blow myself up so I could sleep with 72 virgins. All I said was I'm dying to get laid!"
What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward? "Live ammunition."
A Palestinian girl says to her mommy, "After Abdul blows up, can I have his room?"
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Q: What's the difference between two gay guys and a freezer?
A: When you pull the meat out of the freezer, it dosent fart.
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Q: What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A: A white girls ass!
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Q: There are 2 lesbians and 2 gay guys racing to Alaska. Who wins?
A: The lesbians because they get there lickity split, while the guys are still back home packin there shit.
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Q: What's the difference between Batman and a black man?
A: Batman can go out at night without robin.
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Q: There is an apartment with three families in it. A black family lives at the top, a white family lives in the middle and a mexican family lives at the bottom. A tornado hit the apartment, which family survived?
A: The white family, they were all at work.
----------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when an Iranian has become a man?
When he takes the diaper off his ass and puts it on his head.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Redneck took his daughter to the Gynocologist they were in the room waiting for the doctor, the doctor walked in and asked the father what are we here for today the father said to get my daughter on birth control, the doctor then asked the father so is your daughter sexually active, the father said no, she just lays there like her mother.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm not racist i have colored T.V.!
------------------------------------------------------------------
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence. The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence." The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
JIHAD HUMOR - MUSLIM JOKES by stand-up comic Goffaq Yussef.
Good evening gentlemen, and get out, ladies.
On my flight to New York there must have been a Jew in the bathroom the entire time. There was a sign on the door that said "occupied."
What do you say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes? Nothing! You told her twice already!
How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb? None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!
Did you hear about the Broadway play, The Palestinians ? It bombed!
What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia? Lefty!
Did you hear about the Muslim strip club? It features full facial nudity!
Why do Palestinians find it convenient to live on the West Bank? Because just a stone's throw from Israel!
Why are Palestinian boys luckier than American boys? Because every Palestinian boy will get to join a rock group!
A small plane carrying Yassir Arafat and all his top lieutenants crashes and all aboard are killed. Who is saved? The Palestinian people!
A Palestinian suspect was being grilled by Israeli police. "Honest, I'm not a suicide bomber," he said. "I didn't say I wanted to blow myself up so I could sleep with 72 virgins. All I said was I'm dying to get laid!"
What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward? "Live ammunition."
A Palestinian girl says to her mommy, "After Abdul blows up, can I have his room?"
--------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's the difference between two gay guys and a freezer?
A: When you pull the meat out of the freezer, it dosent fart.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A: A white girls ass!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Q: There are 2 lesbians and 2 gay guys racing to Alaska. Who wins?
A: The lesbians because they get there lickity split, while the guys are still back home packin there shit.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's the difference between Batman and a black man?
A: Batman can go out at night without robin.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: There is an apartment with three families in it. A black family lives at the top, a white family lives in the middle and a mexican family lives at the bottom. A tornado hit the apartment, which family survived?
A: The white family, they were all at work.