Miltary oaths from all services.

[JASONBALL]

Disclaimer I have nothing against any service. though i do favor the army just becuaes I was a soldier. this is not intended to cuase arguement. Just thought they were funny



US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT

"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the
UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of water over waist-deep.I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services.I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, Lazy-Boy sitting,
civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am
superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before
stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and
will go home early every day. So Help Me God!"

[Nemesis]

lol nice! Army all the way. Father served in it for 26 years.

[JASONBALL]

US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT

I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of
my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the AirForce was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?" I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer, and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, gee dunk,scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat,candy,water fountain, hole in wall and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else forthat matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at
0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon,
and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently
busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief,
I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal,
whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!"

[JASONBALL]

that's awsome I didn't know that

[JASONBALL]

US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT

I, (make up a name the police won't recognize),
swear..uhhhh....high-and-tight.... grunt... cammies....kill....fix
bayonets....charge....slash....dig....burn....blow up.... ugh...Air Force
women....beer.....air strikes....yes SIR!....whiskey....liberty
call....salute....Ooorah Gunny....grenades...women....OORAH! So Help Me Chesty PULLER!"
X____________________ Thumb Print
XX _________________________________ Teeth Marks

[JASONBALL]

US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT

"I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the UNITED
STATES ARMY because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine
because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see is a Court-Martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my
Sexual.....er.....I mean "Basic Training," I will attend a different
Army school every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot Camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home because if I let her out she might leave me for a better-looking Air Force guy.Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back. While at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hrs because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 to report back to "COMPANY." I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from highschool. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam.
So Help Me God!"
Signature

[Nemesis]

^ hahahaha copy and emailed to dad. :lmao:

[JASONBALL]

I'm sure he will laugh

[Ran]

I'm sure he will laugh
...or punch him in the face. :lmao:

[The Golden Child]

lolz ..

[The Golden Child]

i guess the marines is out for me cause i cant swim in deep water i have a phobia i think .. lolz

[BABY J]

Hey, I was in the AIR FORCE!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!! I GOT 3 BAGHDAD'S AND 2 AFGHANISTANS FUCK FACE, WHICH HELPED YOU TO HAVE THE FREEDOM TO POST SHIT LIKE THIS?? IF YOU WERE A SOLDIER BEFORE THEN WHY!!???

FUCK IT --> ALL I GOTTA SAY IS THAT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT THE AIR FORCE IS EXACTLY TRUE!!! GOOD JOB!!!:goodjob: :D

[Ran]

I GOT 3 BAGHDAD'S AND 2 AFGHANISTANS FUCK FACE I'll trade you 2 Cambodia's and a North Korea for your 2 Afghanistan's. :D

[BABY J]

^^ Throw in a Naples (armpit of Italy) and a VTEC controller and we got a deal.

[{X}Echo419]

Coast Guard Oath of Enlistment

I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the
United States Coast Guard. I wanted to join the "armed service" but I didn't want to go to far from home. I will try to become a "land guy" and if I can't I will spend my days searching for stupid people that tried to do something stupid that got their boat sunk. I don't have to be able to swim. for a fee of $35 I will be issued a life vest that I will wear "all of the time", even when I sleep. when I encounter a bath tub full of Cubans I willsimply bump it back in the other direction and say, "no dirt no stay." and if I don't :upchuck: on my Captian he will let me shoot th .50 cal at "suspected" drug runners. "SO HELP ME MOM!"

[ahmonrah]

wooohooo!!! go navy!!! yeah, go navy and why the fuck did you make us wear those tight ass dungarees!!!?? with our names on our asses and the tight,white and black polyester dress uniforms that gave away our goodies to those of both sexes that wanted to see....made use rediculous words that noone could explain and sex ladies on foreign soil with wild abandon...and the drinking...oh god the drinking! i had my first hangover at 18. a whole bottle of rum, to myself. the waking up naked on the each in florida, the 6-sum at the navy lodge with 3 local college students and me and 2 shipmates. B.U.D.S training, drownproofing, and the aegis cruiser, the seawolf class subs who with just one are capable of killing everyone world wide with it's deadly payload of nukes........and our very own dawgs, everyone else calls them MARINES, we call them ours ~looking up local navy recruiting station~

[YokotaS13]

US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT

"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the
UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of water over waist-deep.I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services.I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, Lazy-Boy sitting,
civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am
superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before
stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and
will go home early every day. So Help Me God!"



you need to coem to work with me for a day

and hte bike test isnt anymore BTW

[ShooterMcGavin]

hahaha, def some funny shit :goodjob: +1