psychodrama_81
02-11-2006, 01:56 PM
DON'T READ THIS IF YOU'RE OFFENDED BY THE HUMAN BODY: but it's funny!
A hug leads to a kiss...a kiss leads 2 a finger...a finger leads to a a hand...a hand leads to a lick...a lick leads to a suck...a suck leads 2 a fuck. So tell me how many people are you gonna hug after you heard this cuz sex is like math...u add the bed...subtract the clothes...divide the legs...leave your solution...and pray you dont multiply!
Giving .........head....... massages the jaw....while burning 32 calories. :lickpuss:
Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and it whitens your teeth :lickpuss:
Having nice sex burnes 358 calories. :idb:
Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories. :idb:
Take off her clothes
with her consent.........................12 cal
without......................187 cal
Take off her Bra
With two hands..........................8 cal
With one hand.........................12 cal
With mouth.............................85 cal
Put on Protection
hard ........................... 6 cal
soft..........................315 cal :doh:
Foreplay
Looking for target...................8 cal
Finding G spot ......................92 cal
I don't F***ing care.....................0 cal :rant:
Entry
Holding her..................12 cal
On the floor.................8 cal
With Different Position
Missionary..........................358 cal
Doggy...........................316 cal :idb:
69 lying...............................286 cal
69 standing.............................512 cal
Italian hanger.........................912 cal
Orgasm
Real................................112 cal :D
Faking................................315 cal :confused:
After "O"
Lying in Bed............................18 cal
Hop off the bed............................36 cal
Wondering why she left pissed off...........816 cal :confused:
Get dressed
Quiet and calm...........................32 cal
Rushing.........................98 cal
Heard her boyfriend opening the door.............1218 cal
Heard her dad/2 yr old baby sista at the door.............1942 cal
:idb: :idb: :idb: :idb: :idb: :idb: :idb: :idb: :idb: :idb: :idb:
A hug leads to a kiss...a kiss leads 2 a finger...a finger leads to a a hand...a hand leads to a lick...a lick leads to a suck...a suck leads 2 a fuck. So tell me how many people are you gonna hug after you heard this cuz sex is like math...u add the bed...subtract the clothes...divide the legs...leave your solution...and pray you dont multiply!
Giving .........head....... massages the jaw....while burning 32 calories. :lickpuss:
Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and it whitens your teeth :lickpuss:
Having nice sex burnes 358 calories. :idb:
Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories. :idb:
Take off her clothes
with her consent.........................12 cal
without......................187 cal
Take off her Bra
With two hands..........................8 cal
With one hand.........................12 cal
With mouth.............................85 cal
Put on Protection
hard ........................... 6 cal
soft..........................315 cal :doh:
Foreplay
Looking for target...................8 cal
Finding G spot ......................92 cal
I don't F***ing care.....................0 cal :rant:
Entry
Holding her..................12 cal
On the floor.................8 cal
With Different Position
Missionary..........................358 cal
Doggy...........................316 cal :idb:
69 lying...............................286 cal
69 standing.............................512 cal
Italian hanger.........................912 cal
Orgasm
Real................................112 cal :D
Faking................................315 cal :confused:
After "O"
Lying in Bed............................18 cal
Hop off the bed............................36 cal
Wondering why she left pissed off...........816 cal :confused:
Get dressed
Quiet and calm...........................32 cal
Rushing.........................98 cal
Heard her boyfriend opening the door.............1218 cal
Heard her dad/2 yr old baby sista at the door.............1942 cal
:idb: :idb: :idb: :idb: :idb: :idb: :idb: :idb: :idb: :idb: :idb: