Opinion requested

[Bajjani]

Behind these bars and in this cell
My memory wanders and thoughts do dwell
And I pray to God to forgive me please
And deliver me from this image of Hell

This place where evil lives and grows
The wicked thrive and all are foes
Please God forgive me for this I beg
For I will not survive much longer, I know

And if it should be my final request
For my heart will have stopped beating behind my breast
Then please carry me up to be next to you
And in Heaven with God may I forever rest


Just opinions please...you don't like it, fine, don't be a douche though. Thanks all.

[5thgcelica]

:goodjob:

[Bajjani]

Yay 4 people so far voted...

[The Yousef]

kinda gives me flashbacks from boondock saints....i don't know why

[Kristi]

i like it, good job man

[chuck]

not too bad, i'll have to throw up some stuff when i get home...

[quickdodge®]

What the hell is it? Later, QD.

[Bajjani]

I use to write a lot, poems and lyrics for friends bands. They'd give me a single line or a 'theme' they wanted in it and I'd turn it into lyrics or a poem if they wanted it. My friend whos in jail for something I don't agree w/..I won't get into what she did..asked me to write another for her because I've written like 2-3 for her in the past so I wrote it last night. Just wnated to get some opinions..thanks all so far

[Bajjani]

I believe its called...a poem..

[quickdodge®]

It's cool as far as a poem goes. If you know what I mean. Later, QD.

[Bajjani]

LoL @ QD

[quickdodge®]

^^^ No. Seriously. I like it as a straight poem. Not as a prayer, cuz I don't deal with the religion. Later, QD.

[Bajjani]

lol I just thought it was funny cause you were like if you know what I mean...the religion has a purpose behind it tho...shes been reading the bible and praying since shes been in so I put it in there for her cause shes startin to give up...a lot of the poem has personal meaning or little things u don't catch right away...but thanks QD

[quickdodge®]

NP. I did catch the personal meaning, I think. Later, QD.

[Bajjani]

wow 9-0-1 thats a lot better than I thought itd be...thanks again all so far

[Kevykev]

I voted (Y)

[drupason]

its a good poem..but i would think that if your friend is having a hard time in jail she would need somethin more uplifting..that poem just seems kinda sad and dark

[Bajjani]

I guess you are right, I know that she'll understand the poem and it will help her but in most cases ur 100% right. Try lookin at it more like...if this is where I must end up...then 4give me for what i've done and let me be with you in the end...which in a way is motiviation..knowing that you'll be "saved"...but I agree and disagree with ya drewbert...thanks for the .02 tho