Some Funny Stuff

[babygurl]

A Marine stationed in Afghanistan receives a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love,
Becky

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies.

There were 57 photos in that envelope... along with this note:

Dear Becky,

I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.

Take Care,
Ricky


http://www.davesdaily.com/funpages/breaking-up.htm

[babygurl]

Client needed op after prostitute bit penis

A PROSTITUTE who bit her client's penis so hard he required an operation has denied grievous bodily harm with intent.

Prosecutor Matthew McNiff told the jury Louise Jowett carried out the attack because Brett O'Leary, from Clare, near Haverhill, told her he had no more money to give her after already paying her for sex.

Outlining the case Mr McNiff said 22-year-old Jowett, who denies the charge, had bitten and continued to bite Mr O'Leary for up to 45 seconds during the assault. The force and determination of Jowett's attack was said to have led to Mr O'Leary requiring an operation.

The court heard during the early hours of September 3 last year Mr O'Leary was in the Brownswood Road area of London cruising for a prostitute.

He pulled up by the kerb and Jowett, of Holborn, London, ran to his car. Mr McNiff said as she approached she greeted him with words to the effect of "hello, stranger." The jury was told she had known him previously, and having greeted him got into the car.

When negotiations were complete she agreed to travel with him to his home 60 miles away in Clare on condition she was paid upfront.

The court heard she used the money to purchase drugs via a telephone call while on the way. The pair arrived at Mr O'Leary's home about 2am. Jowett by this time had taken the drugs and they shared a bottle of champagne before having sex.

It was alleged that afterwards she asked Mr O'Leary for more cash, becoming more aggressive as her requests continued. While performing a sex act on Mr O'Leary he told her he did not have any more cash.

Mr McNiff said she took his penis in her mouth and gripped it between her teeth. He said: "She bit hard. She bit very hard. This caused what Mr O'Leary described as indescribable pain."

The jury heard Mr O'Leary tried to prise open Jowett's mouth with his hands while she made sounds like an animal. He pleaded with her and he begged her to let go while hitting her to try to get her off.

Mr McNiff said there was a lot of blood while Mr O'Leary screamed and then ran to call 999.

The jury heard that when interviewed by police Jowett told them she had never met Mr O'Leary before and she had acted to protect herself. She claimed he had raped her and forced her to perform a sex act on him and the only thing she could do was bite him.

The case continues at Ipswich Crown Court.


http://www.davesdaily.com/out.php?id=13053&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cambridge-news.co.uk%2Fnews%2Fnewmarket%2F2006%2F01%2F26%2F0 9d12db5-577d-4106-baf1-281fc92611ff.lpf

[babygurl]

OLYMPIA, Wash. - Lance H. Gauthun had barely escaped from the Thurston County jail before he was hollering for help and back behind bars.

Authorities heard the cries of Gauthun, 20, and a police officer pulled him to safety after he ran or fell down a steep embankment behind the jail late Tuesday and found himself stuck with temperatures in the low 30s, sheriff's deputy Daniel D. Kimball said.

"They actually rescued the escapee from himself," Kimball said Wednesday.

He said Gauthun, who had served more than half of a 20-day sentence for theft of about $150 worth of copper tubing, slipped out a fire exit about 10:45 p.m. Tuesday in the minimum-security jail annex, which houses mostly inmates on work release or assigned to work crews.

Hostility between Gauthun and other inmates may have led to the short-lived getaway, corrections Capt. Todd Thoma said.

Gauthun has been rebooked for investigation of second-degree escape, punishable by one to three months behind bars for a first-time conviction.

"He's in the big boys' jail now," Kimball added.


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