Sinfix_15
05-30-2012, 12:33 PM
I drove my motorcycle to Florida this weekend and since i couldnt find my ipod prior to leaving, i did it without music. This long ride gave me a lot of time to reflect on life and the occurrences that led me to be the person i am today.
I'm going to attempt to consolidate these visions into something legible. I'll start with a back story.
I'm 28 years old and living alone in columbus GA for the first time in my life. Prior to now, i've lived with parents, roommates and girlfriends. I've never been married, but i feel ive lived the married life and gone through a divorce. My "exwife" and i were together for 8 years. She got the dog in the split. If i had to explain why we separated, id have to say it was a lack of interest from me. Not a lack of interest in her, but a lack of interest in life. I think its possible to be 100% in love with someone even though they make you miserable. The kicker is that once you become miserable, you're not the person they love anymore. That's what happened to me.
I've recently been on the rebound and trying to find someone new and its been increasingly difficult. I feel i've been domesticated by living the married life. I went from playing sports, doing martial arts and being in perfectly good shape to an overweight house husband who would rather spend my weekends mowing the lawn than going to the club. Some of my problem is that despite my own decline, my taste in women hasnt curved off. I still want the hot college girls. I've never in my life had a problem picking up women but now it seems an impossible task. I've came to the conclusion that i never knew how to pick up women to begin with, only how to respond to their attention which i get a lot less of currently. Women are simple creatures. Despite how many of them say "a sense of humor" when polled by cosmo, physical appearance is 95% of picking up a woman.
I've decided that step 1 of my return to happiness is to re-devote my life to fitness. When i was younger, i was the type who would cancel a date if i hadnt had a chance to go to the gym that day. Eating a restaurant that didnt have healthy food was an absolute no. Even my vacation stay had to have a gym. I played sports, competed in martial arts and was an extremely active person. It would be a cop out to blame the decline on a relationship, but i allowed myself to become "domesticated". Time for all of that to change.
Even though i always did and probably always will love my exgirlfriend, never in my life will i live for someone else again. It's not an angry rant or a declaration of blame. My ex was the perfect girl for me and i liked every single thing about her, but i realized that the lifestyle makes me miserable. This may come as a huge shocker to some of you, but i'm not a religious or family oriented person. Not one fiber of my existence wants to have children. When i have someone else to answer to, im miserable, bottom line. No matter how perfect that person is or how much i love them, if i have to answer to them, it makes me miserable. For this reason alone, i feel the family life just isnt in the cards for me.
My goal now is to return back to a fitness lifestyle, get back into athletic hobbies, move back to Florida within the next 2 years and put a 6 month expiration date on all future relationships regardless of how theyre going. May sound like an empty or selfish lifestyle to some, but keep in mind youre talking to a person who gets pissed off that he has to stop at funeral processions.
All comments welcomed. I support your freedom of speech even if you use it to flame me. Any ladies who may potentially be moved by the sensitivity displayed in this "blog" feel free to PM me. I DO fuck on the first date.
That is all for now.
I'm going to attempt to consolidate these visions into something legible. I'll start with a back story.
I'm 28 years old and living alone in columbus GA for the first time in my life. Prior to now, i've lived with parents, roommates and girlfriends. I've never been married, but i feel ive lived the married life and gone through a divorce. My "exwife" and i were together for 8 years. She got the dog in the split. If i had to explain why we separated, id have to say it was a lack of interest from me. Not a lack of interest in her, but a lack of interest in life. I think its possible to be 100% in love with someone even though they make you miserable. The kicker is that once you become miserable, you're not the person they love anymore. That's what happened to me.
I've recently been on the rebound and trying to find someone new and its been increasingly difficult. I feel i've been domesticated by living the married life. I went from playing sports, doing martial arts and being in perfectly good shape to an overweight house husband who would rather spend my weekends mowing the lawn than going to the club. Some of my problem is that despite my own decline, my taste in women hasnt curved off. I still want the hot college girls. I've never in my life had a problem picking up women but now it seems an impossible task. I've came to the conclusion that i never knew how to pick up women to begin with, only how to respond to their attention which i get a lot less of currently. Women are simple creatures. Despite how many of them say "a sense of humor" when polled by cosmo, physical appearance is 95% of picking up a woman.
I've decided that step 1 of my return to happiness is to re-devote my life to fitness. When i was younger, i was the type who would cancel a date if i hadnt had a chance to go to the gym that day. Eating a restaurant that didnt have healthy food was an absolute no. Even my vacation stay had to have a gym. I played sports, competed in martial arts and was an extremely active person. It would be a cop out to blame the decline on a relationship, but i allowed myself to become "domesticated". Time for all of that to change.
Even though i always did and probably always will love my exgirlfriend, never in my life will i live for someone else again. It's not an angry rant or a declaration of blame. My ex was the perfect girl for me and i liked every single thing about her, but i realized that the lifestyle makes me miserable. This may come as a huge shocker to some of you, but i'm not a religious or family oriented person. Not one fiber of my existence wants to have children. When i have someone else to answer to, im miserable, bottom line. No matter how perfect that person is or how much i love them, if i have to answer to them, it makes me miserable. For this reason alone, i feel the family life just isnt in the cards for me.
My goal now is to return back to a fitness lifestyle, get back into athletic hobbies, move back to Florida within the next 2 years and put a 6 month expiration date on all future relationships regardless of how theyre going. May sound like an empty or selfish lifestyle to some, but keep in mind youre talking to a person who gets pissed off that he has to stop at funeral processions.
All comments welcomed. I support your freedom of speech even if you use it to flame me. Any ladies who may potentially be moved by the sensitivity displayed in this "blog" feel free to PM me. I DO fuck on the first date.
That is all for now.