AlmostFast
05-29-2012, 12:11 PM
Before we begin, this Altima is only for the manliest of men (or the most bad ass of women) out there. This Altima is not for the faint of heart. If Chuck Norris were to drive a car, it would be this car. In fact, if Chuck Norris saw this car, he would fall down, weep, and allow this car to drive him. You may see the hubcaps and think "cheap wheels," but don't be fooled. Nothing says you mean business like showing the world you don't need big, flashy chrome spinners. This Altima comes with the big V6 so you can pull off the fastest car chases in Atlanta or take it over jumps that would make Travis Pastrana close his eyes and cry himself to sleep. "High miles," you say? I see a well traveled car. In fact, this car has been all over the world. To prove it, it comes with an Eiffel tower key chain that was purchased after its previous owner drove across the atlantic to France, where the french admitted defeat immediately upon seeing the awesomeness of this Altima. I must also add that this car comes equipped with a 5 speed manual transmission, because real men (and tough women) don't need some sissy automatic to shift for them. If you buy this car, plan to start shaving with a straight razor, because this car will automatically give you a full beard the moment you buy it (unless you're a woman, in which case it will most definitely NOT make you grow a beard). This Altima is well-equipped. It comes with full leather seats, and the back seat has plenty of room, which is convenient if you have kids (or if you plan to make kids back there). The A/C is ice cold, but you won't need it, since manly men don't use A/C; instead, they hit the power windows and open the sunroof. There are some minor dents on the passenger doors, but don't mind those. They came from pushing a Panzer tank out of the way. That is how I know this car was built tough. All of this can be yours at a very modest $4,000 o.b.o. Contact Chris anytime between 8AM and 10PM at 770-356-2852 to schedule a test drive. Bring proof of your identity, your blood type, and your dental records.
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