i need some jokes white jokes specifically

[juan08079]

ok so i have a friend at school that is going off on me for being mexican every day i have already exhausted all the joke i could come up with him but apparently there is more mexican jokes then there is white jokes. and for all you whites reading this no i aint a racist the guy im talking about is a good friend off mine thats just how are lol. and sorry for my grammar i never was very well in english.



to all i welcome all jokes even mexicans jokes if your that mad about my post im sure i have heard them before but if i havent and they actually funny ill repp.

[Got Milk?]

How many mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Juan (that joke was so retarded I had to post it)

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Why do mexicans have small stearing wheels?

so they can drive with handcuffs on

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Why don't Mexicans play hide and seek?

Cause nobody will look for them?

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What's a mexicans favorite book store?

Borders

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What do u call mexicans on a trampapoline?

Mexican jumping beans

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What do you call a mexican on a riding lawnmower?

Promoted

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans?

Jail

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What does a mexican get 4 christmas?

Your TV

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Why are mexicans and basketball players a like?

they both run jump shoot and steal

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What do you call one Mexican on the moon? A problem. What do you call two mexicans on the moon? A bigger problem. What do you call all of the mexicans on the moon?

Problem solved

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Why aren't there any mexican's in hell?

they jumped the border

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Why do mexicans wear their baseball cap with the brim up?

So they have a place to keep their taco.

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what do you call a mexican who;s had his car stolen?

Carlos

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why do mexicans put there names on their car

so they dont steal them

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what do mexicans and vending machines have in common?

they both take your money and don't work.

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Why do mexicans wear pointed boots?

Because it makes it easier to get over a fence.

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what did the mexican say to the house that fell on him

get off me home's

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How do you keep mexicans from stealing?

Put everthing on the top shelf.

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What did Davy Crocket say when he saw all the mexicans running towards the alamo?

Who ordered concrete?

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an elevator?

One can raise a child.

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What do you call a Mexican with a new car?

A felon

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Why are there no Mexicans in Star Trek?

They don't work in the future either!

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Did you hear about the two car pile-up in the Walmart parking lot?

50 Mexicans died

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Why do mexican kids walk around school like they own the place?

Because their dads built it and their mom clean it.

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What's a mexican's favorite sport?

cross country

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Why cant mexicans play uno?

Because they always steal the green card

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2 mexicans are in a car, who is driving?

A cop

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Why can't mexicans be firemen?

They can't tell the difference between jose and hose b

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Why were there only 5,000 mexican soldiers at the battle of Alamo?

They only had 2 vans.

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What do you call a group of stoned mexicans?

Baked beans

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When a Mexican runs into a wall whats the first thing that hits?

His Lawn Mower

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How do you stop a Mexican tank?

Shoot the guy pushing it.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of crap...?

the bucket

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What do you call a mexican baptism?

Bean dip

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What do you call a mexican that can't do any thing?

A mexican't

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What is the difference between a pizza and a mexican?

A pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a black person?

Somebody too lazy to steal.

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What do you call a mexican that is barefoot and stepped in poop with his toe?

A PUTO

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If there was a maze with with a million dollars in the center who do you think would win: the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, a smart mexican, or dumb mexican?

The dumb mexican, the rest don't exist.

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Why don't mexicans cross the border in 3's?

Because it says no trespassing

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What do you call a midget mexican?

Paragraph because he is to short to be an essay

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Why doesn't the border have electric wires?

Because Mexicans will steal the electricity to power their house.

-----

Why are Mexicans so short?

They all live in basement apartments.

-----

How Do You Starve A Mexican?

Put Their Food Stamps In Their Work Boots.

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What do you call 100 mexicans working on a roof?

Chingos

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Juan,carlos,and antonio all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. who wins?

Society.

-----

What do you call mexican basketball?

Juan on Juan.

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Did you hear about the winner of the mexican beauty contest?

Me neither.

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What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopuss?

I don't know but it could pick lettuce good.

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Why don't mexicans bbq?

The beans fall through the little holes.

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What are the first 3 words in every mexican cookbook?

steal a chicken

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Did you hear about that one mexican that went to college?

yeah.. me neither

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What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?

Cuatro Cinco

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how do you stop a mexican from robbing your house?

put up a help-wanted sign

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What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican?

A bench can support a family (sorry, that one is really mean)

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What is it when a Mexican is taking a shower?

A miracle.

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What do you call a pool with a mexican in it?

Bean Dip.

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What do Mexicans pick in the off season?

Their nose.

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A bunch of Mexicans are running down a hill, what is going on?

Jail Break.

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What do you call a Mexican driving a BMW?

Grand Theft Auto.

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

Any Mexican that can run jump or swim is in the US!

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico?

He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin. (burn)

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Why do Mexicans drive low riders?

They are too short to get into any other type of car.

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What is the greatest Mexican invention?

A solar powered flash light.

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Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans?

Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?

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What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike?

Chase after him, it's probably yours!

----

Why are Mexicans so short?

When they're young, their parents say, "When you get bigger you have to get a good job."

----

What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?

Unemployed.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Doesn't matter, they're to short to reach the socket.

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How do you get 50 Mexicans is a phone booth?

Throw food stamps in it.

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An Arab, Frenchman, American and a Mexican are riding down the highway. The Arab picks up an AK-47. He shoots a couple of rounds and then throws the gun out the window. The American asks him why he through the gun out the window and the Arab says they have so many of those where he is from he doesn't care about what happens to them.

The Frenchman picks up a bottle of wine and drinks a little and throws it out the window. The American asks him why he tossed it. The Frenchman says they have so much of it where he is from he doesn't care what happens to it.

The American picks up the Mexican and throws him out the window.

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Two Americans and a Mexican are exploring in Africa and they stumble upon a tribe. The chief of the tribe tells the explorers that they are going to get fruit shoved up their butts and if they laugh they are going to get killed. Luckly, the Chief tells them they get to pick their own fruit. The two whittes pick berries and the Chief shoves it up their butts. They both laugh their heads off. In heaven God asks them why they laughed. And the Americans reply, "The Mexican picked a watermelon."

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A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He says, "Mom, look - I'm a white boy!" His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father." He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look Dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother." The boy goes into his grandmother's room and say, "Mira, Abuelita, I'm a white boy." His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says, "See, did you learn anything from that?" To which the boy replies, "Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans!"

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Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?" The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. "What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."

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An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive" The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.

----

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

Roberto

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[Got Milk?]

And the white jokes, google is hell of a search engine. try it.

White Joke 01
How did the white boy come out of the grocery store with a six pack? He walked in and payed for it.

White Joke 02
How do you stop five white guys from raping a white woman? Throw them a golf ball.

White Joke 03
How long does it take for a white women to take a crap? 9 months

White Joke 04
How many white girls does it take to screw in a light? None, white girls can’t screw

White Joke 05
How many white men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, white men will screw anything.

White Joke 06
How Many White People Does it Take To Screw In a Lightbulb? None They’ll Have a Nigger Do it!

White Joke 07
What did a white guy see when he looked at his family tree? A straight line!

White Joke 08
What did the white man do before his blood test? He studied.

White Joke 09
What did the white woman do after she spilled hot coffee on her legs? File a lawsuit.

White Joke 10
What do Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both black people with white faces.

White Joke 11
What do u call a bunch of white people in a bowl? Crackers

White Joke 12
What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? Snow.

White Joke 13
What do you call a bunch of white guys in a circle? A Dope Ring!

White Joke 14
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA

White Joke 15
What do you call a mob of white people at the University of Maryland burning down the city? A Maryland championship.

White Joke 16
What do you call a mob of white people in Alabama? A lynching.

White Joke 17
What do you call a mob of white people in Detroit burning down the city? A hockey victory.

White Joke 18
What do you call a white cop? Police brutality.

White Joke 19
What do you call a white guy on “Jeopardy?” A contestant.

White Joke 20
What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile? A taxi.

White Joke 21
What do you call a white man in court? The lawyer.

White Joke 22
What do you call a white man in the ghetto? A victim.

White Joke 23
what do you call a white woman with a yeast infection? Crackers with cheese.

White Joke 24
What do you say when you see a white man carrying a TV? “Excuse me sir, you dropped your receipt!”

White Joke 25
What does a white man do at the club? Pout while all the colored folk are bumpin’ & grindin’ with all of his fine white bitches.

White Joke 26
What does a white man do when he is unhappy with current government decisions? He writes a letter.

White Joke 27
What does a white man say when he catches his wife cheating on him? “I forgive you”

White Joke 28
What does a white woman and a tampon have in common? They’re both stuck up cunts.

White Joke 29
What does a white woman make for dinner? Reservations.

White Joke 30
What’s Orange White and Very Beautiful? A WHITE BOY ON FIRE!

White Joke 31
What’s the difference between a white man and a snake? One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake

White Joke 32
What’s the difference between a white whore and a bitch? The white whore would screw everybody in the room and the bitch would fuck everyone but you.

White Joke 33
What’s the flattest surface to iron your jeans on? A white girl’s ass!

White Joke 34
What’s white and fourteen inches long? Absolutely nothing!

White Joke 35
White people think T-shirts are underwear.

White Joke 36
Why cant white men jump? They were too busy making racist jokes.

White Joke 37
Why did the white man cross the road? Because he needed something that was on the other side of the road.

White Joke 38
Why did white people own slaves? They were not strong enough to pick cotton – weak bastards.

White Joke 39
Why do so many white people get lost skiing? It’s hard to find them in the snow.

White Joke 40
Why do white people like to play hockey? It’s the only other way to beat something black up if they’re not a cop.

White Joke 41
You know what sucks about being white? Not much, really. I mean, there are starving people in Africa, and all those tsunami victims in Asia…I’d say we’re pretty lucky.

White Joke 42
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch prick, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”

The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy asks.. “What’s wrong with you?”

In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”

The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch prick, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown.”

The small guy says, “Turner Brown!…Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, “Turn Around!!”

White Joke 43
A black boy is playing in the kitchen and he covers himself in flour. He goes up to his mother and says “Mummy, look at me ! I’m not a little black boy anymore I’m a little white boy!”

WHACK ! His mum slaps him around the head, “Go and tell your Father what you just said !”

So the little black boy, complete with sore cheek walks into the living room and says to his Father “Daddy look at me ! I’m not a little black boy any more I’m a little white boy!”

WHACK ! His father kicks him in the balls, “Go and tell your Gran what you just said !”

So the little black boy hobbles into the garden and says to his Gran “Granny look at me ! I’m not a little black boy any more I’m a little white boy!”

WHACK ! His gran punches him in the nose and asks him what he has to say for himself.

Standing there with blood pouring down his face, clutching his balls he says “I’ve only been a white boy for 5 minutes and already I hate niggers!”

White Joke 44
A seventy-five year old White guy, his hair was completely white, marries a twenty-two year old girl, and she gets pregnant.

Nine months later, he walks into the Maternity Ward. He says to the nurse, “Well, how’d I do?”

The nurse says: “She had twins.”

He says, “Heh, heh, heh…well, I guess that goes to show, that even if there’s snow on the roof, there can still be fire in the furnace.”

She says, “Well, then you’d better change filters. Both of the babies are black.”

White Joke 45
What’s white and twelve inches long? Nothing!

[juan08079]

-----

What do you call one Mexican on the moon? A problem. What do you call two mexicans on the moon? A bigger problem. What do you call all of the mexicans on the moon?

Problem solved

-----

ok i wasnt expecting that many in the first post lol but ill give you this because a i havent heard before and that the only one on there and b im just goign tomake say white people instead of mexicans tommorrow lmao

[juan08079]

i tried to give you your reps but it wont let me since you was the last one i gave too but i got you asap

[juan08079]

And the white jokes, google is hell of a search engine. try it.

White Joke 01
How did the white boy come out of the grocery store with a six pack? He walked in and payed for it.

White Joke 02
How do you stop five white guys from raping a white woman? Throw them a golf ball.

White Joke 03
How long does it take for a white women to take a crap? 9 months

White Joke 04
How many white girls does it take to screw in a light? None, white girls can’t screw

White Joke 05
How many white men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, white men will screw anything.

White Joke 06
How Many White People Does it Take To Screw In a Lightbulb? None They’ll Have a Nigger Do it!

White Joke 07
What did a white guy see when he looked at his family tree? A straight line!

White Joke 08
What did the white man do before his blood test? He studied.

White Joke 09
What did the white woman do after she spilled hot coffee on her legs? File a lawsuit.

White Joke 10
What do Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both black people with white faces.

White Joke 11
What do u call a bunch of white people in a bowl? Crackers

White Joke 12
What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? Snow.

White Joke 13
What do you call a bunch of white guys in a circle? A Dope Ring!

White Joke 14
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA

White Joke 15
What do you call a mob of white people at the University of Maryland burning down the city? A Maryland championship.

White Joke 16
What do you call a mob of white people in Alabama? A lynching.

White Joke 17
What do you call a mob of white people in Detroit burning down the city? A hockey victory.

White Joke 18
What do you call a white cop? Police brutality.

White Joke 19
What do you call a white guy on “Jeopardy?” A contestant.

White Joke 20
What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile? A taxi.

White Joke 21
What do you call a white man in court? The lawyer.

White Joke 22
What do you call a white man in the ghetto? A victim.

White Joke 23
what do you call a white woman with a yeast infection? Crackers with cheese.

White Joke 24
What do you say when you see a white man carrying a TV? “Excuse me sir, you dropped your receipt!”

White Joke 25
What does a white man do at the club? Pout while all the colored folk are bumpin’ & grindin’ with all of his fine white bitches.

White Joke 26
What does a white man do when he is unhappy with current government decisions? He writes a letter.

White Joke 27
What does a white man say when he catches his wife cheating on him? “I forgive you”

White Joke 28
What does a white woman and a tampon have in common? They’re both stuck up cunts.

White Joke 29
What does a white woman make for dinner? Reservations.

White Joke 30
What’s Orange White and Very Beautiful? A WHITE BOY ON FIRE!

White Joke 31
What’s the difference between a white man and a snake? One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake

White Joke 32
What’s the difference between a white whore and a bitch? The white whore would screw everybody in the room and the bitch would fuck everyone but you.

White Joke 33
What’s the flattest surface to iron your jeans on? A white girl’s ass!

White Joke 34
What’s white and fourteen inches long? Absolutely nothing!

White Joke 35
White people think T-shirts are underwear.

White Joke 36
Why cant white men jump? They were too busy making racist jokes.

White Joke 37
Why did the white man cross the road? Because he needed something that was on the other side of the road.

White Joke 38
Why did white people own slaves? They were not strong enough to pick cotton – weak bastards.

White Joke 39
Why do so many white people get lost skiing? It’s hard to find them in the snow.

White Joke 40
Why do white people like to play hockey? It’s the only other way to beat something black up if they’re not a cop.

White Joke 41
You know what sucks about being white? Not much, really. I mean, there are starving people in Africa, and all those tsunami victims in Asia…I’d say we’re pretty lucky.

White Joke 42
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch prick, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”

The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy asks.. “What’s wrong with you?”

In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”

The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch prick, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown.”

The small guy says, “Turner Brown!…Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, “Turn Around!!”

White Joke 43
A black boy is playing in the kitchen and he covers himself in flour. He goes up to his mother and says “Mummy, look at me ! I’m not a little black boy anymore I’m a little white boy!”

WHACK ! His mum slaps him around the head, “Go and tell your Father what you just said !”

So the little black boy, complete with sore cheek walks into the living room and says to his Father “Daddy look at me ! I’m not a little black boy any more I’m a little white boy!”

WHACK ! His father kicks him in the balls, “Go and tell your Gran what you just said !”

So the little black boy hobbles into the garden and says to his Gran “Granny look at me ! I’m not a little black boy any more I’m a little white boy!”

WHACK ! His gran punches him in the nose and asks him what he has to say for himself.

Standing there with blood pouring down his face, clutching his balls he says “I’ve only been a white boy for 5 minutes and already I hate niggers!”

White Joke 44
A seventy-five year old White guy, his hair was completely white, marries a twenty-two year old girl, and she gets pregnant.

Nine months later, he walks into the Maternity Ward. He says to the nurse, “Well, how’d I do?”

The nurse says: “She had twins.”

He says, “Heh, heh, heh…well, I guess that goes to show, that even if there’s snow on the roof, there can still be fire in the furnace.”

She says, “Well, then you’d better change filters. Both of the babies are black.”

White Joke 45
What’s white and twelve inches long? Nothing!

yeah i saw this already and didnt really find them all that funny i need better then that lol

[-EnVus-]

What do you call a midget mexican?

Paragraph because he is to short to be an essay
This one had me Trollin on the floor

[juan08079]

This one had me Trollin on the floor
yeah alot of this are funny but to old ive heard them to many times before









and come now i know someone knows some good white jokes the only reason i said i welcomed mexican jokes was so people wouldnt get so offended

[-EnVus-]

Why shouldnt white people go swimming?
Because crackers get soggy when wet.


What do you call 200 white men chasing a black man?
The PGA tour.


How many white girls does it take to screw in a light?
None, white girls can’t screw.


What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA


What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection?
Crackers with cheese.


What does a white woman and a tampon have in common?
Both are stuck up cunts.

[juan08079]

^^^ that the same ones gm had on his post

[Ziptied]

There aren't any. White people rule the earth.

< from a non white guy.

[juan08079]

wel then maybe we should what the that joke i qouted earlier with all the white folk and problem solved for EVERYONE?

[Ziptied]

Because it wouldn't be true, the world would stop if all the white people left. Stupid Mexican.

[juan08079]

:rly:i beg to differ imo. i think we would be fine lmao

[nreggie454]

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA

Coaches gotta sit somewhere.

[VooDooXII]

How do you circumsize a redneck?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

[Tech5]

Since there is white jokes how about some black ones?

[iamdallas]

This one had me Trollin on the floor

Me too, man. The white jokes aren't funny, though.

[juan08079]

How do you circumsize a redneck?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

:bigsmilie now that one i hadnt heard before lmao

[Me86Rob]

If you dont want to hear the mexican jokes, maybe you shouldn't be mexican. simple enough right?

[juan08079]

Since there is white jokes how about some black ones?

did you mean since there isn't white jokes how about some black ones? lmao

[xxbckiexx]

there just arent really any funny white jokes. all the clever jokes come from white people.

[Sinfix_15]

The white jokes werent really that funny, other than the one about white guys on a bench being the NBA, i got a laugh out of that

[On_Her_Face]

White Joke 02
How do you stop five white guys from raping a white woman? Throw them a golf ball.

White people play golf in a foursome, it's called rules.

[Sinfix_15]

outside of the redneck stuff, there really arent any good white people jokes. Everyone else is so much easier to make fun of.

[Elbow]

White Joke 02
How do you stop five white guys from raping a white woman? Throw them a golf ball.

White people play golf in a foursome, it's called rules.

That's a joke?