swinging

[chuck]

simple title, complex subject. i wanted to know what you guys thought. is it wrong, is it acceptable? could you know that your girl was 'cheating' if you were allowed to pick out a girl for some fun in 'exchange'?? or taking it further...would you have a threesome with an extra girl if it meant their bf got your gf next??

any hedonists on here? lets discuss...i'd really like some females points of view too!

[chuck]

edit-dbl post.

[ATK_Designs]

I'd pass. STDs FTL.

[chuck]

I'd pass. STDs FTL.

good point...now 'what if' they just carried around papers by chance?? could you then, if you knew the STD's were out of the question?

why not pass on all pie?? just the swinger/cesspool reputation??

[AnthonyF]

I dunno. I have mix feelings on this. I don't have a gf right now but if I had one for years or a wife for years and we wanted to explore and try new things, I might be down for it. Soft swap at first then maybe full later. I'd prob find it sexy as hell. Now it'd be different if this went down and during or after wards she brags about how much better the other person was or some bs. Which more than likely won't happen. ;)

aff.com is your friendly source for all your inhibitions.

-Ant.

[cactusEG]

I wouldnt share my wife or GF. Bad enough I hate it when other ppl hit on her !

[chuck]

I dunno. I have mix feelings on this. I don't have a gf right now but if I had one for years or a wife for years and we wanted to explore and try new things, I might be down for it. Soft swap at first then maybe full later. I'd prob find it sexy as hell. Now it'd be different if this went down and during or after wards she brags about how much better the other person was or some bs. Which more than likely won't happen. ;)

aff.com is your friendly source for all your inhibitions.

-Ant.

yeah, i 'think' i find it sexy as hell too, haha...and yeah, her braggin about the other or whatever wouldn't be cool. communication is a major factor, you have to have a good idea what is and isn't OK with EVERYONE...some guys want to sit and watch the girls have some soft fun and then split, some couples want to go out and have dinner and make it more of a big "date"...it's all different.

aff.com is pshhh for this...there are places like buford dam bar, swayzes, etc that are great to meet people like this. there is also the trapeze club/bar/hotel that is a swinger bar (byob too...no, haven't been before)...but yeah, i guess it would depend on what you are looking for.

[chuck]

I wouldnt share my wife or GF. Bad enough I hate it when other ppl hit on her !

haha, take it as a complement. i used to feel the same way, kinda caveman mentality...now i just laugh, she does too sometimes.

would/could you share your wife/gf with another chick??

[AnthonyF]

^exactly.

Reps for weird agreements. lol. I heard of trapeze or something. Never been, but maybe if I have a long term relationship I might be down.

btw-im down.....;)

-Ant.

[quickdodge®]

There's no way. If you want to get with multiple people, don't settle down. Marriage is about commitment to one person. If you want multiple partners, join/start a polygamist cult. Life is complicated enough without the added BS that comes with sex with other people. There's no viable reason for swinging if you're with someone that you're committed to. Later, QD.

[chuck]

^exactly.

Reps for weird agreements. lol. I heard of trapeze or something. Never been, but maybe if I have a long term relationship I might be down.

btw-im down.....;)

-Ant.

yeah, if you ever go to the trap check the schedule...they also host a single mens night....ewwwwww

there are also groups like swingingatlanta.com ...they seem to be a little older demographic, but very clean and 'professional' if there is such a thing, milf anyone...haha, j/k?

[Princess12]

There's no way. If you want to get with multiple people, don't settle down. Marriage is about commitment to one person. If you want multiple partners, join/start a polygamist cult. Life is complicated enough without the added BS that comes with sex with other people. There's no viable reason for swinging if you're with someone that you're committed to. Later, QD.

Completely agree! I married my husband with the sole intent of being with him and only him.

[sharo227]

me and my best friend have talked about this because she was dating a guy who wanted to have another girl join them ,they broke up but before they did they had a few threesomes with a girl they knew pretty well.. now she wants to try it again but with different people and we have both said to do that with another girl or with just 1 guy would be okay but idk that i would want 2 guys just bc that would seem weird to me. my last boyfriend would get mad when i would talk about inviting a girl to join us but i wouldn't pick up some girl i didn't know.. but then again he is an ex for a reason (not that reason). i think it really depends on how comfortable you and your partner are with each other and you have to know that after doing that they wont go out and cheat on you, they would only have those kinda relations when you were there and down with it.. thats my take on it for now at least lol

[bodhi]

personally I don't see much harm in swinging
if both of the parties agree to following through then i see no problem.

it's not considered "cheating" at all, especially, like I said, if they both "agree."


not everyone is the same though, so some ppl are going to feel differently about this, but shouldn't.... a commitment is to be used as you and your wife/husband wish. it could be twisted, traditional, or whatever. there aren't any laws that say how to live a commited life with your partner

[quickdodge®]

me and my best friend have talked about this because she was dating a guy who wanted to have another girl join them ,they broke up but before they did they had a few threesomes with a girl they knew pretty well.. now she wants to try it again but with different people and we have both said to do that with another girl or with just 1 guy would be okay but idk that i would want 2 guys just bc that would seem weird to me. my last boyfriend would get mad when i would talk about inviting a girl to join us but i wouldn't pick up some girl i didn't know.. but then again he is an ex for a reason (not that reason). i think it really depends on how comfortable you and your partner are with each other and you have to know that after doing that they wont go out and cheat on you, they would only have those kinda relations when you were there and down with it.. thats my take on it for now at least lol

None of that made any sense at all.


personally I don't see much harm in swinging
if both of the parties agree to following through then i see no problem.

it's not considered "cheating" at all, especially, like I said, if they both "agree."


not everyone is the same though, so some ppl are going to feel differently about this, but shouldn't.... a commitment is to be used as you and your wife/husband wish. it could be twisted, traditional, or whatever. there aren't any laws that say how to live a commited life with your partner

BF/GF, maybe I still wouldn't do it).

If you're married, there is ZERO room for this. Later, QD.

[bodhi]

If you're married, there is ZERO room for this. Later, QD.

and thats your opinion

other ppl might not see it your way, and thats perfectly normal too.

[sharo227]

None of that made any sense at all.




lol where am i getting confusing at? lol i guess i just have a different view at this then you which of course is fine but maybe i can explain how i see it a little better if you can tell me where it isnt making any sense lol

[bodhi]

lol where am i getting confusing at? lol i guess i just have a different view at this then you which of course is fine but maybe i can explain how i see it a little better if you can tell me where it isnt making any sense lol

start with working on your sentence structure

i type fucked up, but i do it on purpose

[sharo227]

start with working on your sentence structure

i type fucked up, but i do it on purpose


sorry!!

[chuck]

There's no way. If you want to get with multiple people, don't settle down. Marriage is about commitment to one person. If you want multiple partners, join/start a polygamist cult. Life is complicated enough without the added BS that comes with sex with other people. There's no viable reason for swinging if you're with someone that you're committed to. Later, QD.

i totally respect your view mike but marriage is about a lot of different things to a lot of different people. if i were to swing, i'd do it with couples who are at least a couple hours away, many of them 'probably' have kids and full lives of their own. what added BS can all of this pleasure cause? what is so complicated about life anyway??

i guess you could argue a lot of similar things on your points...but that's where individual thought comes into play; and then this moves from the lifestyle forum to the religion forum (i want this in the lifestyle, lol)

...what about a couple (not just an individual) that wants to 'have fun' but be secure with a family and some structure at the same time? what if SHE wants to?? (not saying this is the case here...i think it always needs be mutual)

we aren't talking about joining cults and polygamist groups, no weekly meetings or illegal marriages...we are talking about f'n :idb:


always like your insight QD!

[chuck]

If you're married, there is ZERO room for this. Later, QD.


it really is a personal choice...i totally understand the sanctity of marriage idea but obviously do not agree %100. some people truly believe that when they are excessively pleased (have good sex) that god is pleased...some see this as blasphemous...but then again, some may see something like ghost hunting to be blasphemous...all goes back to that point of view. ya feel me now?

certainly not trying to convert anyone here, just want everyone (me included) to feel they are getting their full points across.

you know i got some dusty, old, mad respect for you QD!

[Princess12]

I think it definitely has to do with moral/religious beliefs as well.

[Princess12]

if i were to swing, i'd do it with couples who are at least a couple hours away, many of them 'probably' have kids and full lives of their own. what added BS can all of this pleasure cause? what is so complicated about life anyway??

Is the reason you would choose a couple several hours away to avoid any emotional relationship with them?

[AnthonyF]

having a girl join you and swinging are too different things. FYI.

if you are married, what harm is there if you BOTH want to do it? You still love each other, you just want to enjoy life a little bit more.

-Ant.

[chuck]

Is the reason you would choose a couple several hours away to avoid any emotional relationship with them?

yeah, that's part of it...if it was someone 10 minutes down the road then it'd make temptation easier to give into.
there are the horror stories about a couple calling a guy or a girl from another realationship and telling them "oh she doesn't have to know" . even if i was stupid enough to drive 2 hours to get with a girl, if MY gf called me and said she was coming home early i'd be screwed...

so yeah, the 2 hour thing is kind of a buffer/safezone/do WE really want to do this? kind of thing...the drives home could be good to discuss things, figure out what each person did and didn't like...my GF might just be too honest with each other, lol....nah.

[Princess12]

yeah, that's part of it...if it was someone 10 minutes down the road then it'd make temptation easier to give into.
there are the horror stories about a couple calling a guy or a girl from another realationship and telling them "oh she doesn't have to know" . even if i was stupid enough to drive 2 hours to get with a girl, if MY gf called me and said she was coming home early i'd be screwed...

so yeah, the 2 hour thing is kind of a buffer/safezone/do WE really want to do this? kind of thing...the drives home could be good to discuss things, figure out what each person did and didn't like...my GF might just be too honest with each other, lol....nah.

That makes sense.

I just think that if you feel the need to place a "buffer" between yourselves and the other party, then it would be wise to just avoid the situation all together. :2cents:

[neon_ert3]

id do if if my wife was down. i've brought it up a couple times but shes totally turned off by it. we did, however, have a 3sum with her sister which was awesome but then i could never get it to go down again :cry:

[chuck]

That makes sense.

I just think that if you feel the need to place a "buffer" between yourselves and the other party, then it would be wise to just avoid the situation all together. :2cents:

we haven't had a problem...it's really to deter particular (typically yonuger) couples from even trying to think about it. sometimes they can get this idea that "we've already had sex, whats the problem"...certainly not how it works, its always a group decision. with other mature couples, the distance isn't a big issue...although i still wouldn't like the idea of it being someone in the neighborhood, lol...it's just one of many bits from a lot of advice that we took when getting into this. we actually found a youtube channel that has a couple that is full of some great advice - just search DanAndJen . there are plenty of horror stories along the lines of 'well, she is _______ and he is _____ so we can ______ and not get caught'....but of course this could always happen, swinging or not.

i guess it's all a case by case basis...heck, we've brought home 'friends' from a bar right around the corner a couple times...we never play with 'good' friends btw, most have no clue...all just theoretical of course...lol..oh well, nothing to be ashamed about.

[Princess12]

we haven't had a problem...it's really to deter particular (typically yonuger) couples from even trying to think about it. sometimes they can get this idea that "we've already had sex, whats the problem"...certainly not how it works, its always a group decision. with other mature couples, the distance isn't a big issue...although i still wouldn't like the idea of it being someone in the neighborhood, lol...it's just one of many bits from a lot of advice that we took when getting into this. we actually found a youtube channel that has a couple that is full of some great advice - just search DanAndJen . there are plenty of horror stories along the lines of 'well, she is _______ and he is _____ so we can ______ and not get caught'....but of course this could always happen, swinging or not.

i guess it's all a case by case basis...heck, we've brought home 'friends' from a bar right around the corner a couple times...we never play with 'good' friends btw, most have no clue...all just theoretical of course...lol..oh well, nothing to be ashamed about.


Lol! Yeah, I guess involving the neighbors would be a little awkward... but really convenient. ;)

I just can't see my husband or myself ever being comfortable with the idea. I don't think our lifestyle is conducive to being swingers, and I know our personal beliefs definitely prevent us from even considering it. We do have a couple of friends who are very involved in swinging, and they couldn't be happier.

We choose to keep things interesting between the two of us.;)

[Princess12]

id do if if my wife was down. i've brought it up a couple times but shes totally turned off by it. we did, however, have a 3sum with her sister which was awesome but then i could never get it to go down again :cry:

That's a little too Jerry Springer for my taste.

[chuck]

Lol! Yeah, I guess involving the neighbors would be a little awkward... but really convenient. ;)

I just can't see my husband or myself ever being comfortable with the idea. I don't think our lifestyle is conducive to being swingers, and I know our personal beliefs definitely prevent us from even considering it. We do have a couple of friends who are very involved in swinging, and they couldn't be happier.

We choose to keep things interesting between the two of us.;)


oh we keep it interesting on our own...but figure the more the merrier, but yeah...nothing like 1 on 1 time, swinging could be a twice every three months kinda thing..the debate i have now is if/when to stop or cut it back...we aren't married but this is the girl i want to marry; anyone want to guess why?? lol, j/k...


yeah, we've met some weird people...we still laugh about the couple in their young 20's, super cool to hang out with, people that could be our friends in 'real life'....they asked us to church....twice...my gf and i could not stop laughing.

like pretty much everything, it's not meant for everyone....

[RL...]

ill be damned if i watch my gf or wife get banged by another guy, even i may be banging a girl at the same time or not. I just could not do it....i wouldnt be able to let someone please my gf or wife in the personal and intimate way that i do/can...

[cactusEG]

haha, take it as a complement. i used to feel the same way, kinda caveman mentality...now i just laugh, she does too sometimes.

would/could you share your wife/gf with another chick??
Hmmm now girl on girl action, I might let slide lol

[quickdodge®]

and thats your opinion

other ppl might not see it your way, and thats perfectly normal too.

You're right in that it is my opinion and people can live their marriages how they see fit. BUT, in a true marriage, this isn't right. A marriage is a commitment from one person to another. In all aspects of the word (commitment). There is no sharing yourself with another. It's simply you and your spouse. I know it's not a legal thing or whatever, but it is a moral and ethical thing when you look at the true meaning of marriage.


lol where am i getting confusing at? lol i guess i just have a different view at this then you which of course is fine but maybe i can explain how i see it a little better if you can tell me where it isnt making any sense lol

You're entire post was hard to read. Don't be condescending to me. I'm aa smart motherfucker and I can understand things even f I don't agree with them. But I have to be able to understand what I'm reading to understand the meaning.


what added BS can all of this pleasure cause? what is so complicated about life anyway??


Is the reason you would choose a couple several hours away to avoid any emotional relationship with them?

The second quote is one of two main answers to your question chuck.

Feelings. They happen. You NEVER know if that one time you have sex, it's so good that you develop some sort of wanting or longing for that person. That something happened that just changed your whole world. And this is especially true for women because of their more vulnerable feelings. Also, trust issues. Once you open up the doors to sex with other partners, you're asking for Joey Greco to get involved in your life in the future. Pretty soon you're goin got see things he's/she's doing that make you wonder what he/she is really doing. It'll come through. And all this is more prone to happen if you've been married for quite a number of years before you start doing this. You go to the same ball field every day for 10 years and then you're given the ok to play on visiting turf, then you're more than likely going to like playing away from home and may venture off solo.
we aren't talking about joining cults and polygamist groups, no weekly meetings or illegal marriages...we are talking about f'n :idb:


always like your insight QD!

I try to bring (what I feel) is good common sense to a discussion where I THINK there is none.


it really is a personal choice..

I'm not arguing that it's illegal or just something horrible and I'm not clowning on folks who do it or think it's ok, because of this right here, chuck.




if you are married, what harm is there if you BOTH want to do it? You still love each other, you just want to enjoy life a little bit more.

Travel with your spouse. Go on road trips, day trips or even weekend trips with her/him. Break up the monotony of long work weeks by coming home on a Friday after work and packing up and saying let's go. I do this a lot. I'll just up and pack bags and take everyone to the nearest beach for the weekend. Or the nearest tourist trap. Or just to another big city and spend the night. That alone is enough, at times, to spice things up.

Later, QD.

[roxie911]

I don't really know how I feel about this.

On one hand, I could see how it wouldn't be a problem if both people agree, but then again...I'm not one to share. When I'm with someone, I usually wanna stick with JUST THEM. If I start feeling like I want someone else (whether it be for sex or something more), I'll end the relationship because that just means I'm not into whoever I'm with as much as I thought I was.

Then again, I've never been put into that situation, so...I don't really know. Maybe if I was with someone long enough I'd be ok with it, but I really don't know. I feel like if you're ok with your partner wanting to have sex with someone else and actually going through with it, then that's a problem. Fantasies are fine, but I don't see how it could not bother you if you were really serious about who you're with.

Maybe that's just me though....

[ISAtlanta300]

id do if if my wife was down. i've brought it up a couple times but shes totally turned off by it. we did, however, have a 3sum with her sister which was awesome but then i could never get it to go down again :cry:

So you'd let another dude piledrive your wife while you do his wife?

[ISAtlanta300]

ill be damned if i watch my gf or wife get banged by another guy, even i may be banging a girl at the same time or not. I just could not do it....i wouldnt be able to let someone please my gf or wife in the personal and intimate way that i do/can...

^^^^ this.....

[alpine_aw11]

I want to murder anyone that looks at my girl the wrong way. No way in hell I could ever do that.

[Josh...]

I'm too young and immature to not get at least a little jealous from somebody having sex with someone I love. But, at the same time I'm not going to cast any stones, what people do behind closed doors makes no difference to me.

[roxie911]

I'm too young and immature to not get at least a little jealous from somebody having sex with someone I love. But, at the same time I'm not going to cast any stones, what people do behind closed doors makes no difference to me.

...wtf? How is that immature AT ALL?