PSA - Magnesium Citrate - You were warned!

[stormcrow]

I posted this on another forum a few months back and felt it would be beneficial if I shared it with my IA friends. Looking back, I wish someone would have told me of this immoral concoction before i ingested it. Hopefully this PSA saves at least one person from immense and intense colonic evacuation.






http://www.poopreport.com/Images/Consumer/magnesium_citrate.jpg



Magnesium Citrate is likely to be the vilest compound ever discovered. After research, I found that this atrocity comes in three flavors of Satan; cherry, lemon, and newly debuted grape. While at Walgreens, I only saw two. Cherry and Original (I'm guessing Original is really Lemon). There was only one bottle of "original" and it was sort of crusty (literally) so I opted for the secondary option of Cherry. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start from the beginning.

Being on holiday this week has been a wonderful and needed break from work. But, if you're not out of town on true vacation you eventually run out of things to do. The mind starts to wander and you think of arbitrary errands or tasks to perform. If no unresolved issue presents itself, one starts to think of really random shiz. My singular random thought was the realization that, recently, Accounts Receivable had outshone Accounts Payable.

Now this is a great thing in business, but not so much when it comes to the GI tract. As this is normally not the case for me, I decided to see what the local pharmacy had to help me out. Let me tell you, the selection is grand. But, they are all sorts of expensive and which one did I need? Softener? MoM? Clichéd Ex-Lax? Who knew? I certainly didn't. Most said they would work gently in 12-72 hours. I'm confused as ever.

Then I spy, on the bottom shelf, bottles of what seem to be old-school soda. I stand motionless wondering what resides in this retro looking bottle and why it's in the laxative section. I bend down and pick one up for closer inspection. The label reads: Magnesium Citrate Oral Solution - Saline Laxative. I had my answer so I began to investigate further. "Safe, gentle, works in ½ to 6 hours" and is only $1.99! No need to twist my arm, I'm in! Directions are to drink the full bottle along with 8 ounces of water and enjoy!

10:00 a.m. – I follow directions well. But, I add to them another 8 ounces of water as this stuff tastes like saccharin-y cherry Kool-Aid with a pound of salt added. My taste is handicapped due to my inability to smell, so I can only imagine what a delight this must be to *normal* folk. Keeping it down was a true challenge. Strike one against this stuff.

10:02 a.m. – whether it was psychosomatic or chemically induced by this evil liquid, I had my first bout. Normal stuff so I'm ready for round two.

10:20 a.m. – gurgling and round two! Softer and massive. I'm impressed!

10:50 a.m. – Satan unleashes his fury! It's an ass-plosion of Biblical proportions! Explosive and NOTHING but pure liquid nastiness! Who held their thumb over the garden hose?! Great, now I have to shower. Strike two.

11:00 a.m. – 10:25 p.m. – I'm very surprised that I haven't died. 32 bouts and ALL pure liquid. At first, it was dark and morbid, but eventually it changed to red. I thought blood at first, (which wouldn't be a stretch since I could swear that by this point I've shat out part of my soul) but it turns out to be FD&C red #40. The cherry version is loaded with it. Lastly, it became clear. Pure water. This unholy brew has cleaned me out like a pipe snake. I feel violated. But I must admit it works a treat.

In the end, over 12 hours of struggle, 6 showers, lies regarding being gentle (safe is still in question), two dead rolls of TP and a ring of fire. Strike three.

MANY thanks to my girl for bringing reinforcements. Imodium and Gatorade are a MUST when embarking on this adventure. Of course, I didn't think of either.

[AdriSciontC]

um.... prune juice is natural and works just as well... just sayin

[thecrazyone]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa

good write up

[SicStang03]

you did this out of bordumb (yes borDUMB). why not take a bite of raw chicken and try her out?

[MidLifeCrisis]

Wow, not what i expected. +reps.

[MongolPup]

What forum did you post it on a while back?

[Total_Blender]

I guess you drank the whole bottle... its not nearly that bad if you only do half.

Also, the taste isn't really that bad... I thought it was more sour (like a crybaby or other sour candy) than salty.

And you left out the part about the gurgling/growling noises that come from your stomach/bowels before it takes effect.:goodjob:

[thegovanator]

LOLZ

[stormcrow]

um.... prune juice is natural and works just as well... just sayin

um...no. I have tried prune juice. Nice additional fiber that will allow for the dropping of a glorious deuce, but it will NOT make you shit 32 times in 12 hours, all pure water, and require an anti-diarrheal such as Immodium to make the suffering stop!


What forum did you post it on a while back?

Two, actually. my350z and NAGTROC. Poste it "day of" on my350z. few months back on NAGTROC.


I guess you drank the whole bottle... its not nearly that bad if you only do half.

Also, the taste isn't really that bad... I thought it was more sour (like a crybaby or other sour candy) than salty.

And you left out the part about the gurgling/growling noises that come from your stomach/bowels before it takes effect.:goodjob:

I love sour candy..and though this had a sour taste, it was definitely, for me, like drinking a box of salt. I think you missed the "gurgling" portion of the first bout. Re-read. :)

[quickdodge®]

Two, actually. my350z and NAGTROC. Poste it "day of" on my350z. few months back on NAGTROC.

This is old. Later, QD.

[Paul]

stop being a little bitch i ate tons of fatty foods + took ali and drank a bottle of lemon flavor to flush my system once... stuff taste like shit but isn't that bad; unless you have a stomach of a little girl :rolleyes:

[stormcrow]

This is old. Later, QD.

old?

[quickdodge®]

old?

Yes. You know, opposite of new. Later, QD.

[stormcrow]

Yes. You know, opposite of new. Later, QD.

it's new to IA. i have never shared it here. :thinking:

[quickdodge®]

it's new to IA. i have never shared it here. :thinking:

My original post is as follows (keep in mind that is a direct quote with zero alterations):


This is old. Later, QD.

I never did mention where it is old from. Just the comment that it is old. Nothing to really think about. This is the second time you've put text in my posts that I never put in. Later, QD.

[Julio]

lmao.. great write up..

[DirtyMechanic]

oh children you two are both old enough to know... shut the fuck up... geezzz

[stormcrow]

My original post is as follows (keep in mind that is a direct quote with zero alterations):



I never did mention where it is old from. Just the comment that it is old. Nothing to really think about. This is the second time you've put text in my posts that I never put in. Later, QD.

i put nothing in your post. i quoted you verbatim. i was merely trying to clarify your meaning. but, since there is seemingly "nothing to think about", your post was meaningless.


oh children you two are both old enough to know... shut the fuck up... geezzz

you shut your whore mouth when Billy Mays is speaking. i will shat in your Jesus-type mullet, sir.

[DirtyMechanic]

you shut your whore mouth when Billy Mays is speaking. i will shat in your Jesus-type mullet, sir.
you know i dont have jesus mullet anymore.

[quickdodge®]

i put nothing in your post. i quoted you verbatim. i was merely trying to clarify your meaning. but, since there is seemingly "nothing to think about", your post was meaningless.

Wrong yet again. You assumed that I said that it was old for IA when I never stated as such. Just as yesterday you assumed that I thought age was nothing but a number. Later, QD.

[UpSideDownDesi]

i laughed out loud :lmao:

[Paul]

i think i have a new idea for IA challenge... who can hold it the longest :lmao:

[DirtyMechanic]

i think i have a new idea for IA challenge... who can hold it the longest :lmao:
thats a lot longer than a hour and a gallon of milk... but i can see the lulz....

but the problem is... you will probably need a house with as many bathrooms as participants. just in case... lol:lmfao:










jeremy QD is very quick. both of you are older people... try not to match wits.... and dont take it personal.

[quickdodge®]

i think i have a new idea for IA challenge... who can hold it the longest :lmao:


thats a lot longer than a hour and a gallon of milk... but i can see the lulz....

I think this would be perfect. Think we can make it happen?


jeremy QD is very quick. both of you are older people... try not to match wits.... and dont take it personal.

Lolol, thanks for the compliments. No personal issues with me, DM. You know I just say what I feel. And wits aren't comparable here, lolol. Later, QD.

[DirtyMechanic]

I think this would be perfect. Think we can make it happen?

hmm.... i kinda want to see what happens with people. but then again.... dont want to be anywhere near it... but im sure there will many laughs and stories of... "wtf i didnt eat that this week".... kind of remarks. lol:lmfao:


Lolol, thanks for the compliments. No personal issues with me, DM. You know I just say what I feel. And wits aren't comparable here, lolol. Later, QD.
well i dont want jeremy to take anything personal and think IA is all full of assholes and wannabe drifto highschoolers that dont know anything but how to run their mouths. but you old people might have some witty remarks that are comparable.



pssttt just call him bald.... :taun:

[stormcrow]

Wrong yet again. You assumed that I said that it was old for IA when I never stated as such. Just as yesterday you assumed that I thought age was nothing but a number. Later, QD.

Sorry, but you are the one who is mistaken. If I have to keep repeating myself, this will be a useless endeavor for the both of us. Circular logic does not become anyone.



you know i dont have jesus mullet anymore.

I knew you had cut it, but you never call or come around anymore, so I didn't know if you had gone back to your dirty ways.




jeremy QD is very quick. both of you are older people... try not to match wits.... and dont take it personal.

As of now, I am unimpressed. I've seen nothing from him that remotely resembles wit or quickness.

[DirtyMechanic]

I knew you had cut it, but you never call or come around anymore, so I didn't know if you had gone back to your dirty ways. i dont come around anymore.... you dont roll around onthe streets anymore... ready to get pulled again... same spot and time woman... get ready to drop another 10k into your ride only to be beat by a stock G coupe.... what what.... lol you still have the pathfinder or the GT-R your daily?




As of now, I am unimpressed. I've seen nothing from him that remotely resembles wit or quickness.oh snap.... throw down... woot woot:lmfao:

[stormcrow]

i dont come around anymore.... you dont roll around onthe streets anymore... ready to get pulled again... same spot and time woman... get ready to drop another 10k into your ride only to be beat by a stock G coupe.... what what.... lol you still have the pathfinder or the GT-R your daily?


oh snap.... throw down... woot woot:lmfao:

Dude, don't even rehash. The Pathfinder had you the whole way. Luckily for you, my left-hand turn on to 400 North required application of the brakes or my Stillen-blown SUV would have shamed you - sending you headlong into a downward spiral of depression and the necessary usage of an SSRI. :D

But, alas, the Stillen roots-blown monster is no longer in my vehicle repertoire. I sold it...to a dame, nonetheless! She's an awesome chick and actually LOVES it as it sits. Murdered, blown and all. I do have a daily driver, but I won't shame myself on the interwebnetz by repeating the Make/Model.

[quickdodge®]

hmm.... i kinda want to see what happens with people. but then again.... dont want to be anywhere near it... but im sure there will many laughs and stories of... "wtf i didnt eat that this week".... kind of remarks. lol:lmfao:

I don't know if I would either, lolol.


well i dont want jeremy to take anything personal and think IA is all full of assholes and wannabe drifto highschoolers that dont know anything but how to run their mouths. but you old people might have some witty remarks that are comparable.

I've been working on shedding my asshole-ish ways.


pssttt just call him bald.... :taun:

I've strayed from calling people names, lolol.


Sorry, but you are the one who is mistaken. If I have to keep repeating myself, this will be a useless endeavor for the both of us. Circular logic does not become anyone.

A circle is a complete whole. Evidently we're not at that point if you can't see where you've fouled up. You post as if you're smart, yet the simplest things escape your grasp like a slightly overthrown football in...err wait a minute, that won't work. .....yet the simplest things escape your grasp like a ball thrown right at the numbers of a wide receiver only to be dropped.


As of now, I am unimpressed. I've seen nothing from him that remotely resembles wit or quickness.

That's the usual banter I get when one can't keep up. I could have pointed a few "mistakes" that you made when you attempted to chastise me on in another thread, but I figured not to worry about it. So before you try to one up me, might want to make sure all your ducks are in a row.

I always do. That's why I'm usually right. Later, QD.

[stormcrow]

A circle is a complete whole. Evidently we're not at that point if you can't see where you've fouled up. You post as if you're smart, yet the simplest things escape your grasp like a slightly overthrown football in...err wait a minute, that won't work. .....yet the simplest things escape your grasp like a ball thrown right at the numbers of a wide receiver only to be dropped.



Show me where I "fouled up" and not some bogus circular reasoning on your part where you spew vague, meaningless drivel. :) I promise, I am more than man enough to stand corrected.




That's the usual banter I get when one can't keep up. I could have pointed a few "mistakes" that you made when you attempted to chastise me on in another thread, but I figured not to worry about it. So before you try to one up me, might want to make sure all your ducks are in a row.

I always do. That's why I'm usually right. Later, QD.

Actually, that's my usual response when I am being honest about the initial impression of someone who has become defensive and tries to purport themselves my intellectual superior without the actual mental capacity to back this up. I honestly believe you were 'hurt' by my factual argument that your car is *not* JDM. From this thread onward, you have negated everything I have stated in other threads. Why is this, sir?

And when I did mistakingly state that you inferred something that you truly did not, I retracted my statement because, again, I am man enough to admit when I have mispoken. And when I corrected your improper usage of "i.e." (which means "in other words", btw) instead of using the correct "e.g." (example given) I apologized for being trivial and even took responsibility for being a bit anal when it comes to utilizing proper grammar, spelling and/or the correct verbiage.

All of that said, feel free to show me any of my mistakes. Also feel free to explain to me the reason for your initial post in my thread. If there was truly no innuendo or meaning behind "This is old." then why waste your time and bandwidth?

[quickdodge®]

Show me where I "fouled up" and not some bogus circular reasoning on your part where you spew vague, meaningless drivel. :) I promise, I am more than man enough to stand corrected.

No bogus material inside! First your foul up in the other thread where you assumed (and as you stated below that you admitted to being in the err) I was siding with the age thing.

Second is in this thread. You assumed that I said this was old on IA. I stated it was old. I never stated where it is old. Is that NOT what transpired? Did I not say that this was old and your next response, after we established what old meant, that it was "new to IA" and that you "have never shared it here?" I never said you shared it here. Really shouldn't have been a big deal.




I honestly believe you were 'hurt' by my factual argument that your car is *not* JDM. From this thread onward, you have negated everything I have stated in other threads. Why is this, sir?

Feeling a transparent sense of security here or something? I honestly forgot all about that thread and forgot that you were involved. Sorry about that. I guess you're just not that memorable enough for me.


And when I did mistakingly state that you inferred something that you truly did not, I retracted my statement because, again, I am man enough to admit when I have mispoken. And when I corrected your improper usage of "i.e." (which means "in other words", btw) instead of using the correct "e.g." (example given) I apologized for being trivial and even took responsibility for being a bit anal when it comes to utilizing proper grammar, spelling and/or the correct verbiage.

And I called you on that and agreed and let you know that I did wrongly use the term.


All of that said, feel free to show me any of my mistakes. Also feel free to explain to me the reason for your initial post in my thread. If there was truly no innuendo or meaning behind "This is old." then why waste your time and bandwidth?

As you wish (on the mistakes):
"more than some embicile feeling 'bad ass'" - the word is imbecile
"i believe this is what QD was eluding to, as well." - the word is alluding
"And when I did mistakingly state" - the word is mistakenly
"to admit when I have mispoken." - the word is misspoken

These are a few that stick out especially seeing as how in your "apology" post, you made note that you were "a stickler for the proper utilization of abbreviations, grammar and definitions of words."

And typing three words is neither a waste of my time nor bandwidth. "This is old" means just as it reads. I posted it. So what? I'm guessing that my not adding laughter to the mix upset you and so you took it here.

I'm not here to engage in textual warfare with you. If I want to post, I will. If you don' like it, that's on you. I didn't insult you (I don't think anyway) so what are you trying to gain from this? Later, QD.

[stormcrow]

Feeling a transparent sense of security here or something? I honestly forgot all about that thread and forgot that you were involved. Sorry about that. I guess you're just not that memorable enough for me.

Sure you did. Again, since that thread, you have negated nearly everything I have posted. You can certainly deny, but your actions (negating my posts) speak louder than your text on this page.




As you wish (on the mistakes):
"more than some embicile feeling 'bad ass'" - the word is imbecile
"i believe this is what QD was eluding to, as well." - the word is alluding
"And when I did mistakingly state" - the word is mistakenly
"to admit when I have mispoken." - the word is misspoken

These are a few that stick out especially seeing as how in your "apology" post, you made note that you were "a stickler for the proper utilization of abbreviations, grammar and definitions of words."



Thank you for the corrections. No sarcasm here, I appreciate the pointing out of the incorrect spellings. I refuse to utilize Spell Check and at times I either A) allow my mind to get ahead of my fingers or B) just completely fsck up the spelling of a word. Trust me, I softly berate myself and then learn from my mistakes.




And typing three words is neither a waste of my time nor bandwidth. "This is old" means just as it reads. I posted it. So what? I'm guessing that my not adding laughter to the mix upset you and so you took it here.

So, by admittance it had no meaning? Come now. You seemingly have a reputation on this board for berating others for idiotic or empty posts. You know just as I that your post was empty. That leads one to believe there was some hidden agenda. I.E.: you wanted to negate me in some form once more.




I'm not here to engage in textual warfare with you. If I want to post, I will. If you don' like it, that's on you. I didn't insult you (I don't think anyway) so what are you trying to gain from this? Later, QD.

Nothing to gain. We shall see if your initial sentence above is true.

At least through this, the PSA is getting bumped. :)

[Atlblkz06]

Go to India, and take 1 sip of water from the tap - I dare you.
That stuff will make your laxative look like prune juice lol.

The symptoms are similar - except it hit me for 3 days.
I lost 6lb in a matter of days and I had to restart my diet with eating baby food, no lie.

[quickdodge®]

Sure you did. Again, since that thread, you have negated nearly everything I have posted. You can certainly deny, but your actions (negating my posts) speak louder than your text on this page.

If you want to look at my posts as negations, by all means. In one thread, I was simply explaining something to you from an angle that you weren't seeing. In the other thread, I was posting as someone who had experience in something that you didn't have but were going on what you thought it was like. As far as the thread for my Honda, if you want to believe that I remember you from that, again, by all means.... I honestly didn't know it you. I remember the exchange, but had you not said anything, I wouldn't have known.


Thank you for the corrections. No sarcasm here, I appreciate the pointing out of the incorrect spellings. I refuse to utilize Spell Check and at times I either A) allow my mind to get ahead of my fingers or B) just completely fsck up the spelling of a word. Trust me, I softly berate myself and then learn from my mistakes.

No problem. And as with you, no sarcasm. I'm guilty of the same thing at times. It seems you and I are about the only people on this site that type as if we've graduated school and are proud of it. I do thank you for that.


So, by admittance it had no meaning? Come now. You seemingly have a reputation on this board for berating others for idiotic or empty posts. You know just as I that your post was empty. That leads one to believe there was some hidden agenda. I.E.: you wanted to negate me in some form once more.

There you go again with saying I'm saying something that I never said. I didn't admit anything. Yes I have a reputation. But that's for something I USED TO DO. Now I say what I feel but I try not to come down on folks like I used to. No point in it.


Nothing to gain. We shall see if your initial sentence above is true.

Unlike all your other posts/sentences, I, unfortunately, do NOT understand what you mean. What initial sentence, if you don't mind? Later, QD.

[MongolPup]

I asked because I googled it and it showed up on a Skyline forum posted by you at the same time as you posted it here.

But what the hell is going on in here now?!

[DVSRX-7]

since when has IA become a spell check?? this shit is getting stupid...

[stormcrow]

Go to India, and take 1 sip of water from the tap - I dare you.
That stuff will make your laxative look like prune juice lol.

The symptoms are similar - except it hit me for 3 days.
I lost 6lb in a matter of days and I had to restart my diet with eating baby food, no lie.

Quality tech support AND superior colon cleansing?? I must visit this country! :D

[stormcrow]

Unlike all your other posts/sentences, I, unfortunately, do NOT understand what you mean. What initial sentence, if you don't mind? Later, QD.

Your initial sentence of the block that I quoted. Re: not being here for text warfare with me.

It seems we have misread/misunderstood quite a bit in each others' posts. Water under the bridge. Moving forward. :)

[stormcrow]

I asked because I googled it and it showed up on a Skyline forum posted by you at the same time as you posted it here.

But what the hell is going on in here now?!

Actually, it was posted weeks ago on NAGTROC. Originally, I posted it on My350z...the day of the experience. BTW, just for edification, the R35 is not a Skyline. Sucks that they dropped the moniker...almost feels lost without it. But, they assigned that name to what we know here as the G35/G37... :(

Nothing going on in here but some friendly debating. Two mental giants showing their infancy. ;)

[quickdodge®]

Originally, I posted it on My350z...the day of the experience.

That's the site I saw it on. From back in February or March. Later, QD.

[MongolPup]

The R35 is not a Skyline.

One look at a R35 title will tell you that.

[RandomGuy]

http://www.importatlanta.com/forums/showthread.php?t=190259&highlight=citrate

[ahmonrah]

That would make an excellent challenge!! Lolz!

But I'm sorry, it'd have to be some webcam type shiz...there's no way someone would host a buncha grown ass men shat'n all over their home & fighting for the 2.5 bathrooms in the host house.

[Psycho]

heh

bubble guts

[dallasb84]

so whats the point of this stuff? Sport shitting?

Sounds like fun.... but in what way would this be beneficial or healthy?

like a do it yourself colonoscapy?

just curious

[ultm8mind]

I am in the Army and take this every once in a while and I'll have to agree it tastes like shit. Whichever flavor cherry or original, both equally suck! I usually get it nice and cold before ingesting the nastiness. We do weigh-ins and I am not really sure if it slims me down, but it definitely makes me feel lighter, haha. Good write up. Definitely sums up the experience....

[VooDooXII]

This was a funny read, but am I missing something? This was done out of pure boredom? They use Citromag for people who are about to have a surgery/colonoscopy.

[stormcrow]

so whats the point of this stuff? Sport shitting?

Sounds like fun.... but in what way would this be beneficial or healthy?

like a do it yourself colonoscapy?

just curious

The point is, if you're clogged, it clears said clog. One would think that shatting fries that you ate as a child would be beneficial. I swear I saw a McDonald's fry go by...and I haven't eaten those in over 15 years. :)


I am in the Army and take this every once in a while and I'll have to agree it tastes like shit. Whichever flavor cherry or original, both equally suck! I usually get it nice and cold before ingesting the nastiness. We do weigh-ins and I am not really sure if it slims me down, but it definitely makes me feel lighter, haha. Good write up. Definitely sums up the experience....

Thanks for all that you do for our country.



This was a funny read, but am I missing something? This was done out of pure boredom? They use Citromag for people who are about to have a surgery/colonoscopy.

Boredom and the realization that I hadn't punched out a good duece in a few days. Figured I may as well see if I could get some help...didn't want THAT much help, though.

[VooDooXII]

It's almost tempting because if it's just straight water coming out at the end, I feel like I'd have no impurity whatsoever in my digestive tract.

[ultm8mind]

It's almost tempting because if it's just straight water coming out at the end, I feel like I'd have no impurity whatsoever in my digestive tract.

Don't do it if you want to go anywhere for the day.....:2cents:

[bdydrpdmazda]

This shit sounds funny as fuck to do and roll up in a public bathroom loaded with people and wait out the storm there while making every one that comes in, feel awkward for even being in there.

Funny story and good write up on the experience.

[bdydrpdmazda]

EDIT: DOUBLE POST